Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

Julie Brown: Candy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Candy : Okay you guys, what's the plan for tonight?

  Valerie : Whoa, Candy, reality check. We can't go out with these guys, they're aliens!

  Candy : So? They can still be dates!

• [from the song "'Cause I'm A Blonde"] 

  Candy : I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal is to become a veterinarian, 'cause I love children.

• Candy : If you wanna be a femme fatale, you can't rest on your L'Oréals!

  Valerie : You know, I think she might be right!

  Candy : Grab the bleach, she's seen the light!

• Candy : Well I see split ends are universal. Lost in space with no conditioner, huh?

• [from the song "'Cause I'm A Blonde"] 

  Candy : I took an IQ test and I flunked it, of course / I can't spell VW, but I got a Porsche.

• [from the song "'Cause I'm A Blonde"] 

  Candy : 'Cause I'm a blonde! B-L-... I don't know!

• Valerie : [Frantically to Candy]  A UFO landed in my pool and they captured me but we made friends and I fed them Pop-Tarts and, um, they're here now, but Ted's coming home tonight so you've got to cut their hair.

  Owner of Beauty Shop : What did you say?

  Valerie : Oh, nothing. I'm on drugs.

  [Turns back to Candy] 

  Valerie : Candy, you've got to help them out.

  Candy : Would you listen to yourself? Valerie, no man is worth getting yourself in this state over. Mel Gibson, maybe, but not Ted! Valerie, come here, just sit down, honey, relax, have a mental margarita, and everything is...

  [Gets interrupted by Valerie] 

  Valerie : Okay, I'm going to show you something that's going to totally change your life, completely, forever. Okay?

  Candy : Well, in that case, let me get a cigarette.

• Candy : [singing]  Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think, I talk like a baby, And I never pay for drinks, Don't have to worry, About getting a man, If I keep this blonde, And I keep these tanned, 'Cause I'm a blonde, Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'Cause I'm a blonde, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see people working, It just makes me giggle, 'Cause I don't have to work, I just have to jiggle, 'Cause I'm blonde...

• Valerie : Ted is coming home tonight and there's a UFO in my pool. A UFO!

  Candy : BFD. Ted's not going to be there for a few hours. Just chill out, Val.

• Valerie : Whoa! Candy, reality check. We can't go out with these guys. They're aliens!

  Candy : So? They can still be dates! Do you guys have margaritas on your planet?

  Valerie : Candy, it's just not safe. I'll give you a lift home and that's it.

  Candy : Don't get your panties in a bunch! We're with three major cute guys and it's Saturday night! Come on!

• Valerie : At the rate we've been having sex, we might as well be married already.

  Candy : It's been, like, a week?

  Valerie : Two weeks.

  Candy : Valerie, Ted's obviously a victim of PMS.

  Valerie : What?

  Candy : Pre-Marital stress.

  Valerie : Oh. What'll snap him out of it?

  Candy : A new woman.

• Candy : [singing]  I just got to say, Your love life's going nowhere, 'Cause you look like Doris Day...

• Candy : [singing]  Honey, if you vixenize, Guaranteed he'll get a rise...

• Valerie : Candy, whatever you do, don't freak out.

  Candy : Valerie!

  Valerie : I mean it, don't freak out. Promise me you will not freak out.

  Candy : Stop it! You are freaking me out!

• Valerie : Can you do it?

  Candy : Does Tina Turner wear a wig?

  Valerie : That's a wig?

  Candy : That's a wig.

• Candy : You guys are so lucky you crashed in the valley. It's the baddest place on earth!

• Candy : Someone ought to hose those girls down.

• Zeebo : My panty shields make me feel fresh all day.

  Candy : Are they straight?

  Valerie : I don't know. They're aliens!