User reviews

I saw this 80s slasher on British video as 'Valley of Death' and it's one of those flicks where everyone is so naff and stupid the reason to keep watching is to see how many of them die horribly. Unfortunately the violence is a bit too restrained, which is a problem because the stupidity rating of the characters is high - all the cliches are here, the obnoxious fat kid, a pair of poodle-haired teenage hoodlums and a gang of acting school rejects trying to be tough bikers. The girls are old-school, i.e. they don't tool up and try to be Sigourney Weaver as soon as there's a threat. The main problem is with the maniac who's stalking them - he's obviously like the cannibal killers in 'The Hills Have Eyes', but instead it looks more like Cindi Lauper designed him. Not very threatening! But if you need a dumb campsite murder flick to end the night with, it's bearable and you can enjoy the formula even if it could do with some nastier payoffs.

Memorial Valley Massacre is one of many run of the mill slasher movies. The acting is very rigid and staged and the actors don't always fit the characters they play very well. Most of the movie looks scripted. You can almost feel them trying to say the right line. There is one character that in my opinion stood out. I do think that Jimmy Justice did a good job playing Zeke. For the most part though, most of the acting was pretty bad. The "slasher" bad guy was a big disappointment. He's not scary looking at all but he does manage to perform a good number of kills, some of them halfway decent. The killer's abilities and knowledge are totally unbelievable but there is so much in this film that just doesn't make sense that it really doesn't matter. Just shake your head, laugh and keep watching. What I did enjoy about this movie is that it's so simple, light and easy to follow. There's nothing complicated in this movie. Some of the kills were pretty good and a good portion of the film falls under the "It's so bad it's good" category. It might be better to say it's so bad it's funny. There are so many films out there that are much worse. At least this one has some entertainment value. Although forgettable, you could make a worse pick.

A rich landowner and a rugged, alcoholic outdoorsman open up a campground to raise money for surrounding projects (shopping malls and such). But in the maiden weekend of camping, the campers face a bear, nasty storms and a hermit caveman who is none too fond of his peace being ruined.

The film has some standard 80s staples: punk kids, a few token blacks (though, unlike many horror films, not killed off right away), a campground (see "Friday the 13th" or "Sleepaway Camp"), metal music, topless girls, etc. If you like 80s horror (and I do) you will find some familiar themes here and that's a good thing, in my opinion. But even a good set-up doesn't always make for the best follow-through.

The death scenes are really weak. And the problem with that is, I am not sure if this movie was trying to be a horror film or a comedy. It's not scary enough to really be a true horror film, but not funny enough to be a comedy. What it ends up being is a bland mix of both. The same goes for the caveman: he is in no way threatening, but also not really funny. So what happens? He ends up just being bland and dumb, being more silly than anything. Not to mention the makeup department did a horrible job, and his background story makes no sense. (I won't give it away, but let's just say he comes across a lot more primitive than you'd expect.)

Somebody, somewhere loves this film and probably watches it and screens it for friends. I am not that guy. I have no doubt I will some day watch it again, but I can't say it will be soon and I can't imagine why I would unless there was some sort of money or alcohol involved. If you need to see one more 80s film where campers get hacked up, this is your film. Otherwise, just listen to Weird Al's "Nature Trail to Hell"... it's actually less cheesy and more graphic.

This is one of those typical late 80's slashers, missing the point completely. In the beginning of the decade, the genre had it's high moments but later on, as this movies exemplifies, the dynamic wasn't there anymore.

Memorial Valley Campground is set to open and it's money driven owner won't let a dead dog found in the well delay the grand opening. No water, snakes and a unfinished road are some of the other attractions of the camp. The son's owner shows up, after finishing college he wanted to do something more in touch with his sensitive nature. The charismatic ranger in charge of the camp, doesn't seem very pleased with the energetic young man, but he has no choice but to accept his presence. Soon he'll have other more serious problems to take care of. The killer lives in a cave, so cave boy will come out and provoke chaos among campers. His reasons, unfinished business between him and the ranger.

cave boy as gotta be one of the worse "bad guys" I've ever seen, a person just feels like grounding him, he's really not effective in his role. The rest of the acting is also pretty bad. The movie's score is childish and comedic. There's a couple of gory scenes (cheesy but worth mentioning), which may seem surprising because by the time they take place, you're convinced this is a comedy, not a horror movie.

You've heard the phrase "it's so bad it's good". Well it sorta applies to this amusing, yet un-scary horror flick. The acting is atrocious and the script is even worse. However, I couldn't hit the stop button to save my life. Un-intentionally funny! I say it's worth one late night viewing, but that is it. Bottom Line: 4/10! Pure Scholck!!

Plot = Memorial Valley Campsite has just opened for business even though it's far from finished. A bunch of campers set up camp, unknowing of the terror that awaits them in the forest. You see, a Tarzan-like forest boy does not approve of the recent changes in Memorial Valley and has decided to start killing the campers.

Well I can say that I've definitely never seen a movie about a killer caveman before, cheesy for the first hour in other words just ain't that good only one person dies during that time, however once the movie gets going the last thirty minutes is pretty entertaining as should they be seeing as how fourteen people get killed in the final half hour of the movie.

This is one of the last backwoods slashers that we got from the 80s and I think it's pretty safe to say that this was one of the movies that killed the trend. The movie is obviously very low-budget with a bunch of incompetent actors and an even more incompetent special effects team. The gore effects are ridiculous. Memorial Valley Massacre is far from a flawless film but as I said before, the final 30 minutes kind of make the first hour feel worth while.

All in all it may not be a very good movie but it's quite enjoyable during the last thirty minutes which is why I've given a 5 instead of a 4.

From a horror standpoint, "Memorial Valley Massacre" is a worthless slasher that no serious horror fan should bother with. What saves it from being a total bomb is the tongue-in-cheek approach of the filmmakers, at least in the first half. For example, early on a man says "We've got a problem with the water" (the movie is set on a camp) and proceeds to pull a dead dog out of the well! Hilarious! Then Cameron Mitchell (who appears for about 2 minutes as an investor; did he actually get paid for this?) asks: "Screw the dog, is the water fit to drink?" (!!!). The film also includes the following exchange: "Are you the head ranger here?" - "Well, I'm the only ranger here, so I guess you can say I'm the head one". Oh, and the primitive kid who has lived all his life away from civilization, apparently knows how to create a gas explosion. (*1/2)

Wow - this movie fails on so many levels and yet for fans of real cinema "cheese" it is a hoot. See, a caveman has been living i the woods for twenty years and no one has ever seen him, but damnit, they open a new campground right near his hunting ground. And this Caveboy hates noise and you how noisy humans were in the late 1980's. The gore is laughable, the acting isn't even community theatre bad, the score is so bizarre and all over the place that I would buy it if I ever came across it - that's how unique and strange it is. Almost every scene starts with the "actors" literally waiting for the Action cue from the director and then they start the scene - so the editing is awful too. Lots of bad speeches - some of the script is Ed Wood level bad. My pals and I laughed at this one a lot. A real cheesfest!

This film seemed like it might be a good B grade slasher as I often have enjoyed them, I liked the concept of a hermit serial killer, it was false advertising. What you get is a made for t.v style movie, full with a bad soundtrack, mostly terrible acting with the exception of George who looks like Stanley Baker, and the Black groundskeeper. The other campers are a crew of Disney style bikers, two horny punks with a tease of an easy girl, two unlikable city parents with their chubby son who acts too flamboyant to ride an ATV, or be a thief, lone female camper who for some reason lived to the end of the film. Lets not forget about our hermit who is actually a caveman, that learned to make fur garments, and channel is inner MacGyver in booby trap making. The most laughable part was when the caveman was tampering with William Smits RV and it actually said flammable above a door covering the gas line for cooking, the cave man somehow knew how to tamper with it. Most of the deaths are cheesy but then this film was 1 hr 33 min of pause cheesiness. 1.5/5.

This completely obscure slasher flick is pretty good.It's funny,violent and easy to follow.The acting ranks from acceptable to downright awful,and this Tarzan-like killer is really stupid looking.The plot:A killer is preying on tourists in new opened Memorial Valley.Don't let the plot outline fool you:he uses axe only one time in the whole film.The characters are likable(gotta love especially those two moronic heavy metal fans!)and there's no happy ending here.Much more tamer than previous horror film by Robert C.Hughes "Hunter's Blood","Memorial Valley Massacre" is still worth a look.Check it out,if you can find the copy.8 out of 10.

This late-eighties slasher is slow to realise what it's supposed to be doing but is served with a nice slice of melted eighties cheese to the point where you can't help but like it. A wee bit.

Cameron Mitchell is opening up a new camping park but someone or something is seemingly planning to stop that happening by killing the staff and the campers alike. For the record, Cameron kind of turns up at the start of this one and disappears, and does do too much either.

His son (in the film at least) is on the staff and along with the ranger try to find out who's killing dogs, killing fat kleptomaniac campers, and wrecking the place. But who is this mysterious killer who looks like a wayward member of Motley Crue? It ain't very bloody and it ain't very booby, but it's worth a watch anyway. I couldn't help but enjoy it, even though the first three times I tried to watch it I fell asleep (it takes a good while to get cooking, this one). Watch out for Big Bill Smith in yet another cameo.

Forgettable, by-the-numbers 80's slasher in the woods, which is saved from total mediocrity by an unusually high body count and a fair amount of tongue-in-cheek humor during the first hour. The beautiful forest region of Memorial Valley is being turned into a fancy camping site by a rich business man. Various campers begin to arrive, even though the site is far from ready yet, and so does a primitive caveman killer. At first, it simply looks like the scarcely dressed Tarzan Junior is butchering campers because they're messing with the ecological balance in Memorial Valley, but there's also a personal vendetta. He has been living in the deep forests for almost twenty years, and his presumable father – who just happens to be in charge of the campsite – never managed to track him down. The murders in this low-budget slasher are pretty imaginative, albeit completely gore-free and rather tame. A couple of insufferable characters are massacred with ingenious booby-traps (pits with stakes, falling trunks, ...) but the cave boy himself is one of the most UN-menacing killers in the history of horror movies. His total lack of evil charisma is even funnier when a supposedly tough and macho biker runs away from him, screaming with fear like a little girl... Multiple other reviewers also pointed out already that it's quite remarkable that our Mowgli has the knowledge to blow up a caravan without ever having seen one before in his life! There are loads of amusing little stupidities in "Memorial Valley Massacre" and they effectively distract you from the total lack of tension, plausibility and gore. Robert C. Hughes' previous movie, the fascinating survival horror flick "Hunter's Blood", was a lot better and more tense but still this quickie is recommended to undemanding horror fans. The character of the retired military general (played by veteran William Smith) is truly cool.

Memorial Valley, which has remained an untouched preserve, is opening a campground. Things are off to a rocky start when a mutilated dog is found in a well on opening day. Soon, the valley's first campers find themselves terrorized by a crazy (and rather silly looking) primitive type who is ticked off at the noise and land pollution. So, everyone knows that many 80s horror cheesefests are "so bad they're good." Well, this one is so bad it's...cute? Yeah, I think that's what it is. Everything about it comes across as endearing. I don't see how anyone could watch this and not have a hilarious time. And there's an environmentalist subtext to boot. Fabulous 80s fun. My Rating: 4/10.

I watched many B movies and I have to say this is the worst movie I ever watched, normally I would laugh at the stupidness of B movies and actually enjoyed it, but this one is just horrible!!! I wish I could take back those minutes I lost in my life and do anything else than watch this piece of trash of movie, seriously that kid who play the most ridiculous killer ever filmed, should go to every home in America and say sorry to everyone for making the most wasteful garbage ever created!!!Watching the clock for a whole hour is more entertaining than this!! Why did God allowed this to happen, I can't picture Hell being worse than watching this!!!

If we are going to stack movies against each other, this is the best I can do. I don't know if this the biggest wastes of time I've ever used, but it ranks up there. We have a pack of rednecks and "bad kids" staying at a dumb looking campground. Running around is a guy who apparently knows how to make clothes out of animal skins, but can't help breaking the necks and backs of the campers. The principle characters are campy and stupid, as are the people running the camp. It's just that there is no effort to make things even remotely interesting. There is a wet t-shirt, some biker talk, and some kids harrassing the stupidist looking people on the face of the earth. I knew I was in trouble when the title came on from the right. As if someone had an overhead projecter and put it over the film, already in progress. Sometimes I have fun with these silly rip off movies. This one was just horrible.

You know you're in trouble when a movie trots out the toilet paper before the 10-minute mark. A bunch of cranky campers have come out for the grand opening of Memorial Valley, which is plagued by negatory vibes (dead dog in the well); woe be unto the unfortunate souls who decide to stay, because a Beastmaster-type with poor oral hygiene is stalking our resident idiots (horny, mullet-headed teens; drunk program director; his Ivy League apprentice). Many phony-looking deaths ensue, plus a twist that's completely obvious the moment it's 'revealed.' "Memorial Valley Massacre" is an inferior rip on Wes Craven's "The Hills Have Eyes" (which wasn't that great to begin with), with a pulse that alternates between campy humor and stone-cold seriousness (or at least as much as a film like this can convey); as a result of the tonal indecision, it becomes an unintentional hoot, perfect for a MST3K-style skewering ("Space Mutiny" star Cameron Mitchell even has a cameo!).

I've seen many low budget slasher flicks and although Memorial Valley Massacre certainly isn't the worst, it certainly isn't the best either. Let's put it this way - it's more interesting than The Prey.

The main problem is that it lacked any real gore. There is a high body count but all the deaths are done in non-gory ways. If there had been some blood splatter then it would have been really cool. The acting varies from OK to terrible, the killer is a Tarzan lookalike, and the film takes a little too long to reach the conclusion. There's a few interesting moments and it's not as boring as some of the 80's slasher flicks were.

Fans of forest slashers will want this in their collection, but gore-hounds should avoid it.