Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

Edie McClurg: Chastity Pariah

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chastity Pariah : [seeing Elvira arriving]  Well, I never.

  Elvira : Yeah, and you never will with those soup cans on your head.

  Chastity Pariah : Listen, young lady. I don't know who your are or where you came from, but you most certainly don't fit in this town. Why, you don't even fit in that dress.

  Elvira : Listen, sister. If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

• Chastity Pariah : Please, I don't think we need to resort to name calling. I think what Calvin is trying to say is that this Elvira is a person of easy virtue, a purveyor of pulchritude, a one-woman Sodom and Gomorrah, if you will. A slimy, slithering succubus, a concubine, a street walker, a tramp, a slut, a cheap whore!

• Chastity Pariah : You all saw it! He attacked me in broad daylight and he had his way with me!

  Calvin Cobb : Me? I barely got away with my life! You could have worn out a mechanical bull!

  Chastity Pariah : You're not gonna get away with this, you sex-addled maniac! I demand that the council remove this pervert!

  Mr. Clotter : I never laid a hand on those sheep, so help me.

  Mrs. Meeker : Calvin is the one who was painting everybody in apple butter! I was just an innocent on-licker!

• Chastity Pariah : Boy am I a horn dog. Is this face taken?

• Chastity Pariah : [about Elvira]  Well, if she's morally unfit, then we have every right to do anything we can to get her out of this town. Are we agreed?

• Chastity Pariah : I don't know who you are, or where you're from but you don't fit in this town. You don't even fit in that dress.

  Elvira : If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you

• Chastity Pariah : Excuse me, is this face taken?

• Vincent Talbot : As you may have surmised my sister and I, shall we say, had our differences.

  Elvira : Yeah, you really got shafted. Tell you what, I'll share my inheritance with you. You can have the dog.

  Vincent Talbot : No! Thank you. But I would be interested in acquiring that recipe book, you know, for sentimental reasons. I'd be willing to pay you, say, $50.

  Elvira : [Chastity Pariah passes by and only hears Elvira's response]  Yeah, sure, I'll do it for fifty bucks.

  Chastity Pariah : [indignantly]  Oh!