Sakura Killers

This movie's one of my favorites. It's not really any good, but it's great to laugh at. The dialogue can become incredibly ludicrous and poorly acted (eg, "Manji, can we ask you a few questions?" "Sure." "We think you can help us with the answers.") Any fighting is more or less surrealistic. Make sure to watch for Brock, the oafy white guy who attacks the main characters. He only has two lines, but he's one of the best guys in the movie!

Oh yes, Sakura Killers is a goofy, horrible ninja movie, make no mistake. But it's also an incredibly enjoyable one. This is largely thanks to the awesome presence of one Chuck Connors, who is billed as starring in the movie but really only shines in a few scenes. I suppose he's supposed to be sort of an Obi Wan Kenobi type ("The tough ninja-buster", the box copy exclaims) but his 'wisdom' is laughable. "Move without thinking"??? My friend says this is the sign of mental retardation, not of supreme concentration.

But really, his two aides, Sonny and Dennis, have such horrible dialogue that 'Brooklyn', as we call The Colonel, tends to shine in comparison. Especially watch for Dennis' logic regarding the 'genetic splicing' the Sakura are involved with. If you know anything about cloning you will die laughing. And yes, this is a major plot point, folks.

A terribly fun movie, Sakura Killers is a hard-to-find gem. I won't spoil the 'trick' ending for you either, except that it's a perfect set up for a Sakura Killers 2. Too bad Chuck Connors died. :-( Because he does have a the smoothest ways of blowing away ninjas.

SAKURA KILLERS (1+ outta 5 stars) Maybe in 1987 this movie might have seemed cool... if you had never ever seen a *good* ninja movie. Cheesy '80s music... cheesy dialogue... cheesy acting... and way-beyond-cheesy martial arts sequences. The coolest scene is at the beginning... with an aged Chuck Connors playing golf on a beach... several black clad ninjas try to sneak up on him and it looks like he is too intent on hitting his ball to notice... suddenly he reaches into his golf bag and... naw, I won't spoil it for you... if you ever have the misfortune of seeing this movie you'll thank me. The story is a lot of nonsense about some stolen videotape or something. A bunch of dim-bulb Caucasian heroes are trained in the ways the ninja because "only a ninja can fight a ninja" or something like that. Strange, these guys don't seem to fight any better after their training than before... oh well, the movie does move along pretty briskly. The fight scenes may not be great.. but they are plentiful... and the overdone sound effects are good for a few chuckles.

I'm in awe! Wow, prepare to be blown away by the uncanny ways of the ninja. Watch them as they pounce, crawl along the ground (on their backs or stomachs) like a caterpillar, fly through the sky, climb buildings, hide and spring from trees, throw about ninja stars, role out blue welcome mats, disappear in smoke bombs, make a lot of swoosh noises with their blades and quickly sneaking or trotting about on their toes. What a sight! Really I could go on about the many traditional actions, but I'll be here all day. Oh not to forget we even get the legendary Chuck Connors popping up now and again, and watch him dispatch some ninjas with his shotgun with little ease. What class! What a badass! Anyhow the ultra-cheap 'Sakura Killers' is some stupid, but cheesy ninja action fun that only fanatics of the genre would get anything out of this shonky b-grade debacle.

A genetic lab in America has a very important video that's stolen by a couple of ninjas. Two Americans are sent to Japan by the Colonel (Chuck Connors) to retrieve it.

The opening of the feature sets it up nicely. Get ready for the laughs! Afterwards it slows down, but soon after the two main protagonists learns about the ninja and goes through the training it gets a head of steam as they break in costumes and fled after the stolen beta tape that contains a very important formula. This is when the violently swift action and aerobic marital arts really come in to play. It's not too shoddy either, (like the moronic script and daft performances). The final climatic showdown is very well done.

In the slow stretches it has the two Americans (Mike Kelly and George Nicholas) looking in to the case, sharing brainless conversations and encountering some minor problems. What made me laugh was how the ninjas were put off by how brave and clever these two were. These were supposed to be professional killers? Director Dusty Nelson ('Effects (1989)') does an earnest job with what he had and plays it for what it is. He centres the on-screen activities around striking Taiwan locations. The score is a chintzy arrangement.

My review was written in May 1987 after watching the film on Key Video cassette.

An okay martial arts picture, "Sakura Killers" is a bit schizophrenic in that it consists of two separate sets of footage, shot by different filmmakers in Taiwan and the U. S., joined together in a convincing whole.

Chuck Connors is featured in the U. S. shoot (written and directed by Dusty Nelson), wearing his old Brooklyn Dodgers warmup jacket while fiddling with a modern version of his rifle (not the trademark flip-cocking model of his "The Rifleman" tv series). He sends Mike Kelly and George Nichols on a mission to Taiwan to retrieve a stolen videotape of genetic engineering experiments, lifted from a secret scientific installation by ninjas.

Athletic team of Kelly & Nichols discover that a Japanese organization of Sakura killers is behind the action and planning to sell the U. S. secrets to the Soviets. Fortunately, the Yanks get intensive training from a martial arts master.

Action scenes are well done, though the usual exaggeration of sound effects detracts. William Scott's energetic musical score is a plus, as are several attractive women in the cast. Sound recording for the U. S. footage is fine, but the post-synching of the Taiwan segments is crude. My review was written in May 1987 after watching the film on Key Video cassette.

An okay martial arts picture, "Sakura Killers" is a bit schizophrenic in that it consists of two separate sets of footage, shot by different filmmakers in Taiwan and the U. S., joined together in a convincing whole.

Chuck Connors is featured in the U. S. shoot (written and directed by Dusty Nelson), wearing his old Brooklyn Dodgers warmup jacket while fiddling with a modern version of his rifle (not the trademark flip-cocking model of his "The Rifleman" tv series). He sends Mike Kelly and George Nichols on a mission to Taiwan to retrieve a stolen videotape of genetic engineering experiments, lifted from a secret scientific installation by ninjas.

Athletic team of Kelly & Nichols discover that a Japanese organization of Sakura killers is behind the action and planning to sell the U. S. secrets to the Soviets. Fortunately, the Yanks get intensive training from a martial arts master.

Action scenes are well done, though the usual exaggeration of sound effects detracts. William Scott's energetic musical score is a plus, as are several attractive women in the cast. Sound recording for the U. S. footage is fine, but the post-synching of the Taiwan segments is crude.