- "Goody" Nelson: You ever take biology in school, soldier?
- Jackie Willow: Yes, Sergeant-Major.
- "Goody" Nelson: How do worms copulate?
- Jackie Willow: They don't, Sergeant-Major; they use asexual reproduction.
- "Goody" Nelson: Mmmm-hmmmm! Interesting concept! Tell me, Willow - any idea who first came up with that notion: reproducing without sex?
- Jackie Willow: Your wife, Sergeant-Major?
- "Goody" Nelson: Clell, Old Boy, you mean you haven't told the lady? Why Madam,we are the Old Guard. We are the Nation's Toy Soldiers. We march with rifles that cannot shoot. We fix bayonets that cannot stick. We are the Kabuki theater of the profession of arms.Jesters in the court of Mars, God of War, do-da, do-da.
- Jackie Willow: [over the phone]
- [shouts]
- Jackie Willow: Hey, Sarge! I need another favor.
- Clell Hazard: [shouts] Oh, great. Let's see... you got my money, you got my car. I guess now you need my dick to seal the deal!
- Clell Hazard: The peace loving people of Vietnam, My Ass. A more bellicose race of people i have never known
- Clell Hazard: I know this unit in Nam. They print up these little cards. They say, er, "killing is our business and business is good." Well, here, burying is our business. Our business is better.
- Clell Hazard: I am not a "peacenik", Captain; I just don't agree with the reasons behind this particular war, and I feel if we're gonna fight it we oughtta goddamn fight it right.
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