Bellman and True (1987)

Bernard Hill: Hiller

Quotes 

• [Telling The Boy the story of "The Continuing Saga of Sod's Law - You Just Can't Win", an idealised but thinly-disguised version of his own life with his wife, "The Princess", who has now left him for a new lover, the owner of the Rover 2000S] 

  The Boy : The Princess? Was she there?

  Hiller : Yeah.

  The Boy : The Princess who smoked French cigarettes and was beautiful when she wasn't looking.

  Hiller : We only had one rule. We didn't let anyone in who had a Rover 2000S. 2000 Smegma.

  The Boy : Why?

  Hiller : [bitterly]  Because people with Rover 2000 Smegmas live in four-bedroom fake Georgian houses. They marry St Bernard dogs called Darling. And they have nasty little kids in green jumpsuits who come in through the window on a wire and say "Gosh!" and all that sort of thing.

  The Boy : But someone like that, we'd never have let them in. The Princess wouldn't have liked them at all.

  Hiller : No she wouldn't.