L.G. McPeters: Look, darlin'. Built ya a little fry house.
Lefty: One of those boys was so crazy he sawed his own head off going 90 miles per hour.
Drayton: The small bussinessman... always, always, always gets it in the ass.
Drayton: [Hiding under the dinner table while Leatherface and Lefty fight] Maybe it's just time to just shut down. Time to shut down the show, yeah. Yeah, pull the plug. Come here, Nubbins!
[Pulls the preserved corpse of the hitchhiker from the original film under the table and searches him]
[When swinging for Stretch, Leatherface hits Chop Top on his head with the chainsaw by accident, exposing his metal place cover]
Chop Top: Her, not me you dumbass! Leatherface, you bitch! Look what you did to my Sonny Bono wig do... oh, goddamn I can't believe it! You gonna have to buy me a new plate cover! You gonna have to buy me a new plate cover, Leatherface! Oh... I'm gonna have to go back to the VA hospital to get me a new plate cover!
L.G. McPeters: Just had another cursin' caller. Your little ass is gonna be in big trouble with that tape girl.
[Buzz and Rick are on the phone to Stretch]
Buzz: This is for Rick the Prick; he wants to hear "Bright Lights, Big Titties"!
Rick: Wrong! I don't wanna hear it - I wanna see it! "Bright Lights, Big Titties!" Woo!
Chop Top: Yeah well, Leatherface killed her once already, but LOOK! She's Red-faced. Oh, Bubba's been playing with her, Bubba likes her. Bubba's got a girlfriend!
Chop Top: Burn her like a rat! Burn her like a rat!
Chop Top: Uh, I wanna... I wanna buy some uh, radio add time.
Vantia 'Stretch' Block: [getting nervous] Are you fucking crazy? We are closed. Off the air till' tomorrow. You'll have to just... come... back...
Chop Top: C'mon Bubba. Cook's out here chewing ass like it was steak... "We gotta run for that money now! Chase that dollar, boy! Gotta go fast to catch it... "