Cobra (1986) User Reviews

Where Rambo stops, Cobra Begins

[Cobra2003 · 7/10 · 15 September 2003]

With two Rambo movies, First Blood (1982) and Rambo : First Blood part II (1985) under his commando belt, Sylvester Stallone had confidently confirmed himself as the Box Office king of the Action Thriller genre. With all the gingoism and American flag waving that went with the comic strip adventures of the worlds favourite fictional viet nam vet, Stallone steps up a gear into Cobra (1986), one of the tightest, exciting, well written and under-rated action movies of the past few decades. Stallone takes British crime novelette Running Duck (US - Fair Game} from celebrated writer Paula Gossling and gives it the full Rambo gloss treatment. Gone from the novel is the alcoholic schizoid lead character and in his place is Marion Cobretti, the typical, four square Stallone character, and the story is all the better for this. Stallone' screenplay is pretty simple, and so is the under lying message that evil is a force that must be met on its own terms. So what we have is a violent actioneer chock full of punch ups, car chases and shooting. Sadly, the script isn't developed enough, and the Rocky elemnts so typical of Stallone's movies at this point, IE, the underdog hero who everyone is against, is used to the maxim here. Unlike the Rocky movies, the glare of humour isn't up to scratch, and so a great many of the lead characters are unlikeable. So what? Wasn't this the case with thrillers such as Seven or Resovoir Dogs? However, Rambo Director George Pan Cosmatos gives a fresh coat of paint to this particular movie, adding stylish touches of film noir to the action genre in a way that precceeds Face/Off (1997) and a whole host of successors. Bridgette Nielsen is the movies real surprise, giving a likeable and sincere performance as Helgar, under the watchful eye of her then Husband. What is really surprising is that Cosmatos manages to succesfully blend into the action genre touches of classic and contemporary horror movies such as Friday the Thirteenth and John Carpenters Halloween with the chilling depiction of the Night Slashers. The movie also contains some of the most exhilerating action and chase sequences, particularly in the movies climax, where Cobra lets rip unto the Night Slashers men. This is an under-rated gem, a very efficient Stallone/George Pan Cosmatos vehicle, and very possibly the best ever Menahem Golan, Yoram Globus/Cannon Film Group picture ever produced. .......................................................................

8/10

I Actually Hate Myself For Liking This Movie So Much

[damianphelps · 7/10 · 20 February 2021]

Fundamentally, this is, for all intensive purposes, a pretty awful movie.

The acting is deplorable and the story is not much better.

I like the persona of Cobra and the gun and I LOVE the car. I could have watched 90 minutes of the car, it would have been a much better version of the film.

I own a copy of this movie! I have never recommended it to anyone, ever.

Best scene, the supermarket assault.

Some brilliant sequences jammed between the mediocrity

[fertilecelluloid · 5/10 · 27 December 2004]

George Cosmatos, the director of the dim-witted RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART 2, directs this schizophrenic exercise in style with some aplomb.

The title sequence is simply stunning. DOP Ric Waite's images exist in some sort of surreal world that the film can't possibly contextualize. At magic hour, a bad guy on a motorcycle is intercut with ludicrous but gorgeous images of other bad guys (in suits, no less) ritualistically banging axe handles together in some underground warehouse in Los Angeles in time with a dark, brooding synth score

The sequence that follows, a madman's bullet-ridden assault on a supermarket, is again stunningly shot and staged and a triumph of style over anything you want to name.

Once these bravura sequences have passed, mediocrity and Hollywood Plotting 101 cuts in and we're pulled back into a dull reality.

But don't fret. Sit tight for long enough and you get an enthusiastically staged car chase with ducks, machine guns, classic cars bursting from buildings, a Santa who comes close to being roadkill and badly uttered Stallone lines.

Fast forward then to the film's climactic shootout on motorcycles and you're left with an action film that spends forty minutes doing everything right.

Stallone emotes with cruise control and his wife-at-the-time Brigitte Nielson just wears the clothes and moves from first position to second.

beautiful script!

[senin777 · 20 November 2000]

I'm very bad in english, i'm from Russia. But I'm fun of Stallone and don't keep silently. This film - classics! It don't have spare! All in it working for result. It's action in last type. In Russia, we have saying: all genius - simply. It's about this film. "Cobra" - as your picture at the wall - nice for your eyes. Sorry for my bad english! Now I'm go to gim - i want to be strong as Cobretti. Arnold and Van Damm, and Sigal - stupid before Stallone! They never made such beautiful script!

Awesomely bad (and hilarious)

[Wizard-8 · 6/10 · 9 February 1999]

What was Stallone thinking of when he wrote this? Everyone in this movie is an idiot, and there's no one sympathetic. Robinson's liberal character just seems to be in the movie so he'll get punched at the end. Cobra is a particularly repulsive character - the first glimpse of him shows a close up of his five o'clock shadow, uncombed hair, and a match in his mouth - ugh! Stallone has an acceptable voice in real life, but he gives Cobra a low, sometimes hard to make out, groan in his voice that makes it sound like he's talking in his sleep. The bikers are stupid even for bikers - why do they clank axes over their heads? Why don't they get out of the way when Stallone machine guns from the truck near the end? Movie also contains some of the most blatant product plugs in history, for Pepsi and "Toys R Us" (the latter by playing an _entire commercial_ on a TV Cobra watches.)

However, I will freely admit that I enjoyed COBRA - as a so-bad-its-good movie. Sure you'll groan several times - but you'll also find a lot of unintended laughs and giggles. It's even funnier than it could have been, because Stallone writer/star and director Cosmatos take the movie incredibly seriously. Plus, the fact Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus produced it makes it a must see. It should be noted, however, that the cinematography isn't bad, and a few action sequences are acceptable as well.

slithering hilarity...

[mcfly-31 · 6/10 · 21 March 2010]

Hard to believe this is the film Sly wanted to turn "Beverly Hills Cop" into. You'll notice a "based on the book" credit in the opening titles, but I feel that was just a courtesy. Paula Gosling's novel was (apparently) based on a woman who falls in love with her cop-protector. The amount of the book used probably amounts to that previous line.

From there, Sly puts his own unmistakably vain 80s stamp on this gut-busting mess, which he at least makes watchable in that "what a POS" kinda way. Penned by the man himself, in full self-serving flower, he plays yet another near-comatose renegade. Always adorned in mirrored sunglasses, scratchy beard, and obligatory mouth-matchstick, he mumbles his way through dialogue I can't imagine him not howling at as he typed it.

Obviously inspired by the "Night Stalker" killings of the previous year (1985), he gives his villain the similar moniker of the "Night *Slasher*." His change to the actual events is that it's not just one psycho, but a group of them, who spend countless hours in a factory, clanging hatchet blades together and spouting interminable rhetoric about "The New World." Our first evidence of this is the utterly infamous opening sequence involving a supermarket nutbag.

Upon randomly blasting a number of Charmin and Cocoa Pebbles buyers, Stallone's "Cobra" is called in to put a stop to the madness. No mention is made of him being a hostage negotiator; he just roars up in an aged car and storms the building, to the dismay of his cop-detractors. Several memorable one-liners later, we're off to the main plot involving Nielsen's character being targeted by said wacko regime.

Throw in some Rambo, Friday the 13th slasher elements, and Halloween II hospital madness, and you have "Cobra." You know you're in bad shape when the first MTV montage is only about twenty minutes in. Then at the hour mark the film's tank hits empty, limping to its 600 shot-dead motorcyclists and steel factory finale.

With all that said, if you like embarrassing star-trips, you may last through the whole thing. Sly's knee-slapper characterization (bumping gang-bangers cars, using a remote control despite being inches from his TV) has enough stunningly stupid moments to pull you along. There's also eye-squinters like the bad lady cop who speaks at times like a drag queen, and the innumerable amount of back-up nutcases who show up on motorbikes, who had not been seen to that point.

Not to be overlooked, Sly even gives himself John Wayne's original given first name: Marion. The ultimate thrill would be to sit down with him to watch this thing, no doubt counting the times he puts his hand up over his face in shame.

Another failed attempt to create a New Order

[Lumpenprole · 2/10 · 18 June 2002]

I love the villains in this film. They seem to have no motivation whatsoever other than being murderers. There's something about a New Order with quasi-religious stuff going on, but somehow it doesn't quite jibe with their main job of killing people at random. It would be different if they were some sort of thrill kill cult, but no one seems to be having much fun. I guess one joins these guys, is issued a machine gun and a motorcycle, yells at some sweaty leader, and then drives around in a van holding people down for from guy called slasher to kill. When Stallone shows up they drive into his bullets like lemmings. The incompetence of the directing makes it look like they're doing it deliberately. Never have anonymous villains had so little dignity in death. (Except maybe for the storm troopers who got their butts whupped by Ewoks.) The villains are almost abstract in their devotion to being part of the carnage at the end.

The rest of the movie is not as remarkable in any way. It's yet another action movie where the hero has to assault an enemy base/stronghold/hideout to extract the babe who got nabbed. This one has a Dirty Harry character.

Mindless fun

[shaun98 · 6/10 · 22 February 2004]

Plot -- Sylvester Stallone plays a rouge cop charged with protecting a young woman (Brigitte Nielsen) against a band of psycho killers. He must also contend with opposition from within the police force, as many of his colleagues find his tactics excessive. But in the end, his only concern is wiping out crime.

Critique -- Judging from the harsh reviews this actioner earned, you'd think it was unredeemably bad, but I admit I kind of enjoyed it. As long as you're not expecting too much, it delivers on a no-brainer level. In fact it's about as good as one can expect from anything Cannon Films did in the eighties. It moves at a good pace, looks slick (groovy lighting) and has a decent car chase. As expected, it's very right-wing, but as long as the occasional speechifying doesn't bother you too much, that kinda adds to its charm as an artifact of its decade. The star has strong screen presence and effectively fills the "badass supercop" role. Brian Thompson, as the psychotic killer, rants and raves as appropriate. Andrew Robinson, as the disapproving detective, is somewhat underused here. "Cobra" makes for a good double bill with "Rambo: First Blood Part II", another overblown Sly spectacle directed by George P. Cosamatos.

Rating: (**1/2) out of four

Released by Cannon Films (thru Warner)

"I don't deal with psychos, I put them away!"

[Nazi_Fighter_David · 5/10 · 13 April 2008]

This time Sylvester Stallone is against a bunch of ax wielding serial killers, with nylons over their faces, who terrorize the LA nights…

When a fashion model happens to see the ugly face of a sadistic psychopath (Brian Thompson), Ingrid (Brigitte Nielsen) becomes the main target of the secret "New World" society stopping at nothing to slain her…

Lieutenant Marion Cobretti (Stallone), in his gun metal-gray classic Mercury, and armed with guns, knives, grenades, and firearms, is assigned to protect the statuesque blonde…

The movie is too violent and too bloody and contains one of the most interesting car chase sequences ever filmed

Metacritic Score: Sissies on Revolt

[InnerConflict · 7/10 · 24 September 2022]

Action Heroes as they go in a 80´s style. Badass, no moral construct, justice as equal to the killer as the cop. This movie doesn´t need pandering to abraham to still be ethically just. All for the audience, no pandering to grander ideas, cheesy one liners, good looks and stuntman work. A simple brains off adventure between two breeds of characters. Stallone in his best form. Rock n Roll Action. Nothing more to say. No complex plot, no message, no nothing, just, pure action. Movies like these you don´t review, you just watch and like or dislike. Simplicity at its finest. What more do you need for a cool off friday evening?

If This Is The Cure, Keep The Disease

[slokes · 2/10 · 16 April 2005]

"You gotta have faith," a cop played by Sylvester Stallone tells a fearful woman he is guarding. Not only is he stealing George Michael's lyrics, Sly is also pinching his wardrobe: Black leather gloves and matching jacket, tight jeans, boots, reflective sunglasses and chin stubble. What Lt. Marion Cobretti is doing on witness protection detail while he could be cruising men's rooms is beyond me.

"Cobra" is a very '80s film, sort of a stupid cousin to the many "Dirty Harry" wannabes being pumped out at the time. The plot is ridiculous even by the weak standards of this genre. A gang of axe-wielding psychos are taking out those they view as "weak" in pursuit of a New World Order. Man, you couldn't wake up any morning in the 1980s without hearing about some new gang of serial killers busting out.

At least Lt. Cobretti is on the job. Better known as "Cobra" or "the Cobra," he carries a special pistol with a cobra head illustration on the handle stock, not to mention an attitude, "just a little one," as he himself admits. Machine guns, grenades, all are found in his tool box, but he keeps a matchstick in his mouth instead of a cigarette, so kids won't get bad ideas.

The killer gang doesn't seem all that subtle, attacking one waitress inside her car on a city street. Yet they carefully guard their privacy to the point that when their facially-deformed leader is glancingly spotted in the act by a model played by Brigitte Nielsen, he pulls out all the stops to kill her. Sending his minions out to get whacked by the Cobra, the psycho sneaks into a hospital where she is being looked after. We get shades of "Halloween II" as she runs for her life through deserted corridors. You'd think he'd give up, especially as he risks being spotted by others trying to kill this one witness, but no, this guy continues after her through the movie, Ahab in a stocking mask.

Yes, indeed, "Cobra" is one stupid film. It's also unpleasant in its stale echoes of reactionary politics, punchy in its attempts at humor, and threadbare in terms of character and motivation. One police supervisor played by Andy Robinson (one of two actors from the cast of "Dirty Harry," Cobra sidekick Reni Santori being the other) whines about Cobra's strong arm tactics, which Cobretti effectively counters by physically assaulting him - twice.

What's good here? The lighting is very effective, giving the film a glitzy sheen very in tune with the time. Though his acting is stiff, Stallone never looked better, which may be why he does so little with his character – too busy vogueing. The cars and equipment are cool to look at, and there are some terrific stunts.

But the stunts are done in service of action scenes that don't work. Cobra fights off human-wave style attacks by dozens of motorcyclists who seem to be competing for the best wipe-out. The big shootout at the end is unbelievably protracted, with Cobra hitting everything he aims at with a snub machine gun while not one of the dozens of shootists firing at him manage much of anything.

"This whole sorry ordeal is some damn sick joke if you ask me," Robinson's police supervisor complains. Actually, "Cobra" isn't played as a joke at all, but very straight, a big part of the problem. One useful aspect of "Cobra" is it gives the lie to the phrase "mindless entertainment." In order to be entertaining, a mind has to be working somewhere. When one isn't, the result is this.

Stallone's 80's best underrated Action Horror film Cobra!

[ivo-cobra8 · 10/10 · 6 October 2015]

My favorite best Stallone action movie. But from the 80's that Stallone made action films is the first stand alone film not meaning Rocky and Rambo. Cobra will never stop been my favorite best action movie horror thriller from the 80's that is out there. It is one of my personal favorite movies. I wish only the movie wouldn't be that short but still it was directed by George P. Cosmatos who directed Rambo this movie was made right after Rambo: First Blood Part II was released.

Cobra is also a Cannon film and one of the best action horror thrillers that is out there. Cobra simply rocks! And it is a highly entertaining underrated action flick that guarantees the viewer a great show. Cobra is another one of those movies. It's not deep, it has a social message but doesn't really care about it. Its just pure old fun. The night slasher kills people randomly. He targets anyone, anywhere. The police don't have a clue, they can't stop him, all they can do is wait for the next death. But that all changes when Ingrid gets a good clear look at the chief of the gang. Yes, it's not one person, it's a group of killers that have set their minds on hunting the weak of society. Now they'll do anything to kill the only witness, the woman that can finish their 'dream' but they didn't count on one man: Marion Cobretti.

The movie plays with the idea that murderers use the system to get away with their crimes. It explores the fear in society, the impotence of the courts and introduces Cobretti, a cop who doesn't care about the law only his justice. Although I don't agree with this I still enjoyed the movie since Stallone didn't spend much time making his point, rather went fast for the action.

YOU'RE THE DISEASE, AND I'M THE CURE!!!!!!!!

Cobra is a 1986 American action film directed by George P. Cosmatos, and written by Sylvester Stallone, who also starred in the title role. The film co-stars Reni Santoni, Brigitte Nielsen and Andrew Robinson. The film received negative reviews, with much criticism focused on the overuse of genre tropes, yet it debuted at the number one spot on the U.S. box office and became a financial success.

The film was loosely based on the novel Fair Game by Paula Gosling, which was later filmed under that title in 1995. However, Stallone's screenplay was originally conceived from ideas he had during pre-production of Beverly Hills Cop, whose screenplay he heavily revised. He had wanted to make Beverly Hills Cop a less comedic and more action-oriented film, which the studio rejected as being far too expensive. When he left that project, Eddie Murphy was brought in to play the lead role

A tough-on-crime street cop must protect the only surviving witness to a strange murderous cult with far reaching plans. The cult and their leader The Night Slasher are killing people all over the town in Los Angeles for believing in their New World so that will the strongest people survived but their is one tough cop that stands in their way and he must protect a surviving witness that cab identify the Slasher. I seriously love this film from the 80'a and I wish there would be more films like this. The Action sequences, the explosion, death scenes are fantastic after Rambo here comes Cobra.

Is one of my best Stallone Action movies beside Tango & Cash (1989), Rambo, Rocky, Cliffhanger, Demolition Man and The Specialist it is one of my favorite action movies of all time! 10/10 Grade: Bad Ass Seal Of Approval

Take it out back and shoot it

[j30bell · 1/10 · 2 February 2005]

Every now and then I get an urge: I don't like to talk too much about it, but there it is, lurking… this urge. I can't tell my girlfriend, and once I've satisfied the urge, well, naturally, I feel quite disgusted with myself. You understand, though, I can't help it… I should explain. Mostly the urge involves turning down the lights, flicking on the TV and baying snobbishly and unpleasantly for 90minutes at films like Cobra. So far, I haven't found a support group for this compulsion, but I'm looking into it.

So I suppose in some ways I should feel grateful to Cobra because if films like this didn't exist, I should be forced to watch Star Wars again. And while this would undoubtedly sate my feelings of smug superiority, it would nonetheless be masochism, and I have enough of a problem with my urge as it is.

I suppose I should feel grateful, but part of the problem with my condition is that I can't. Cobra has to be one of the worst films ever made. If the illegitimate child of Miami Vice and Dirty Harry mated violently with the less poetically inclined twin of the Death Wish brothers it might bear nagging resemblance to Cobra. Cobra is living proof that, were it possible to surgically remove the 1980s from the sphere of human history (thereby losing my childhood, Gandhi, Bladerunner and Live Aid) it would be a price worth paying.

Both dialogue and delivery make the fromage of Bruce Willis positively Shakespearian in comparison. Take the following line as a sample: "Hey dirt bag, you wasted that kid for nothing. Now I think it's time to waste you!" or perhaps the following (Killer)"The court is civilized, isn't it pig?" (Sly) "But I'm not. This is where the law stops and I start - sucker!" Sly got a screen writing "credit" for this film, by the way. I mean, Rocky isn't exactly Hamlet, but what a comedown. It's incredible to think that two scant years later Die Hard was in the cinemas.

What is more extraordinary about Cobra is that the performances, camera-work and score are more lame than the script.

Anyway, unless you suffer from a similar compulsion to mine, avoid this film. It shares the credit with Commando for being the sphincter of 1980s cinema – and boy – as mister 'cott would say - that's saying summut. 1/10

Do you have a lifejacket?

[SuperfluousChap · 9 April 2004]

This picture is classic 1980s action at its best and most cliche. My favorite scene is right at the top of the movie. Cobra is in a supermarket, on the trail of a guy who's killing safeway employees for fun. Cobra's in pursuit. He passes a 6-foot display case of Coors light. Stops. Cracks a can. Takes a sip. Tosses it on the floor. Continues in pursuit.

It reminds me of another 80s action flick few will remember called the Punisher with Louis Gossett Junior. Some dufus is carrying pizza into the torture chamber where LGJ is getting it. EXCEPT HE'S NOT GETTING IT, guys. He's already knocked the guy out with a punch and a pressure point maneuver. Then, Gosset neutralizes the pizza guy. But rather than let the pizza, which is all over the floor, go to waste, he kneels down, takes a couple of pieces, bites, then leaves the room as though nothing has happened.

I learned a lot from Cobra and Stallone's character, Marion Cobretti. First, I need to get a "nitro" option on my car so I can go as fast as he did. Second is a great line to reel in the girl, next time you're out on a date and she's using too much catsup on her fries.

"Do you have a lifejacket?" "Why" "To save all the french fries that are drowning."

This movie is a classic for 80s action lovers. I own the DVD and highly recommend it.

A Missed Opportunity

[slightlymad22 · 6/10 · 9 January 2016]

Continuing my plan to watch every Sly Stallone movie in order, I come to Cobra.

Plot In A Paragraph: Cobra (Stallone) a tough cop, who does things his own way, must protect a witness from a murderous gang led by the Night Slasher

This was Sly's attempt at a Dirty Harry type movie/franchise (right down to the opening, outright ripping off Magnum Force's opening) However an out of control ego (Its rumoured none of the supporting cast or crew were allowed to talk to Stallone during filming, insisting on his then wife being the female lead) and an attempt to make more money costs the movie dear.

The original cut over the movie was over 2 hours long. Due to concerns it might not be a hit, the final cut was 84 minutes, thereby increasing the number of screenings per day. Some of the more violent scenes were also cut to get a lower rating. A lot of plot was either removed or sped up while most of the violence and nearly every death was edited or depicted off-screen, resulting in numerous continuity errors and plot holes.

We never find much out about the axe banging cult (a mix of business men in suits and tough bikers who all brandish the same tattoo) or the "New World" that the main villain talks about. What we do get is a lot of montages, with Sly looking tough and moody behind his shades or cool and moody behind his shades. Stallones new wife (Bridgette Neilson) isn't left out either, she gets a solo montage of her modelling various outfits during a photo shoot.

George P Cosmotos (Rambo: First Blood Part 2) was directing Stallone again, and (like in their previous collaboration) he does a good job of making Stallone look good. Which, along with the fact that Stallone could control him, is probably why he was hired. The movie is based on the novel 'Fair Game', once Stallone had rewrote it (which seems to be a bad habit of his) it bears zero resemblance to the source novel.

Whilst it has a few good lines, most of the dialogue is awful, and it is poorly acted by most of the cast, and the less said about some of the editing the better!! Stallone does what he does best, (although the one man army works well with Rambo, it's laughable here) and looks cool doing it. But this is an average, forgettable 80's flick at best, when it could have been so much more.

Unfairly Overlooked Action Movie

[zofos · 6/10 · 4 June 2008]

This movie has probably had the harshest criticism of any action movie I can remember. It is rarely shown on television and Stallone hardly ever talks about it. All of Stallone's other movies have been released on DVD again and again every year, Cobra has been released maybe once or twice. I wonder why, as I've seen a lot, lot worse than this.

Stallone had just had his biggest year ever at the box office in 1985 with the one-two punch of "Rambo: First Blood Part II" and "Rocky IV." The late George P. Cosmatos, director of "Rambo II", also directed this film and there were high hopes for it. However, it was a critical and box office failure. I don't know why, it's far superior to most other action movies from 1986.

Stallone wrote the script for "Cobra." It's allegedly based on a book by Paula Gosling, but I don't recognize anything from that book in this movie. I think Stallone just took the basic premise of a cop protecting a woman and going on the run with her. The serial killer aspect is entirely Stallone's and doesn't feature in the book.

The main problem with the film is that it apes "Dirty Harry" too much from its rule-bending cop on the trail of a vicious killer, right down to casting Andy Robinson and Reni Santoni from Eastwood's movie in it. It's even made by the same studio - Warner Brothers. Having said that, "Cobra" is better than most of the "Dirty Harry" sequels (It's certainly better than "The Enforcer" and "The Dead Pool.") It also has the coolest poster of any of Stallone's movies (Stallone looks like he's auditioning for Arnold's role in "The Terminator" on the DVD cover!)

Perhaps one reason people don't like this film is that they take exception to the casting of Stallone's then-wife, Brigitte Nielsen as the heroine.

There are also some laughable "tough guy" moments (delivered seriously) like when Stallone rips a guy's vest and tells him he's bad for his health. Perhaps Stallone was believing his own press at that stage and he was getting too big for his boots after dominating the box office the year before.

The photography by Ric Waite is excellent if a little too MTV. The score by Sylvester Levay is also good, you wonder why he never did more movie music.

If you like Stallone and you like action movies, you'll like this. It's a perfectly agreeable time-waster.

How do you like your testosterone?

[Coffee_in_the_Clink · 6/10 · 8 April 2020]

Walking away when his ideas for "Beverely Hills Cop" were rejected by the producers, and replaced by Eddie Murphy, Sly Stallone held the middle-finger up high and wrote the screenplay and starred in "Cobra", where he pumped in the action, violence and ideas he had had for "Beverely Hills Cop". The result is what you would expect from the man riding high on his roles in the "Rocky" franchise and "First Blood". Stallone struts around chewing on a match, wearing slick, tight clothes and muttering cheesy lines like "You're the disease, I'm the cure" and racks up a body-count of 40 plus with his Jatimatic submachine gun - a very quirky weapon that never saw mass-production. The film also contains the most outrageous hand-break turn in cinema history. Stallone plays Marion Cobretti - the cop LAPD call in when they are dealing with situations that no other cop can deal with, apparently. Essentially, they just call him in when they want some dirt bag laced with bullets. There's an apparent serial killer on the loose in LA, slashing random people to death. When the model Ingrid (Brigitte Nielson) sees the culprit in action, she becomes the next target, and Cobretti is detailed to protect her. It turns out that they are not dealing with one twisted killer, but a whole legion of them, and they are organised and even have connections...

"Cobra" was never going to be more than braindead action but that is the appeal, and Stallone never has notions beyond that. He set out to make and star in the film he wanted, which is a credit to him. He shamelessly turns himself into a marketable product like Pepsi and Coors - two brands that feature throughout the movie - but what a fun, testosterone-dripping piece of work this is; a quintessential '80s action movie. According to the trivia section on IMDb, Sylvester Stallone complained to cinematographer Ric Waite that they were falling behind, and said he and his crew needed to work harder. Waite reportedly responded by saying that maybe if Stallone "gets his hands off Brigitte Nielsen's ass and stops showing off to his bodyguards" then maybe they'd be up to speed! Yes sir, that about sums it up.

Can a film actually be zero-dimensional?

[WHCernan · 2/10 · 4 August 2000]

What a hideous, pathetic film.

The Hollywood story goes that Stallone was originally tapped to play "Beverly Hills Cop", but that he didn't want to play up the comedy so much. He wanted it to be a "Stallone Film(tm)". Thank the stars that those in charge dumped Sly and retooled "Cop" for Eddie Murphy. "Cobra", as the story has it, is Stallone's idea of what "Beverly Hills Cop" should have been.

There are always people who will say "oh, just because it's a brainless action flick doesn't mean it's bad." That's okay for a small budget production like "Death Race 2000" (which also features Stallone). "Cobra", on the other hand, is a big budget movie with a 2 dollar script and 50 cents worth of direction. It's hard to believe that this is essentially the same guy who wrote "Rocky".

This movie is more than stupid; it actually reaches out from the screen and transfers some of its stupidity right into your head. You walk away with a feeling of being dumber for having watched it - especially if you paid to see it.

Stallone acts horribly. The script makes no sense - any episode of "Starsky & Hutch" seems like Hemingway by comparison. The action isn't just unbelievable (all action flicks are that way), but it's also just plain stupid. Cobra stands firing a gun in the back of a speeding pickup on a dirt road at high speed as the back end of the truck fishtails in the gravel.

No, it's not the worst film in the world. It's not even Stallone's worst. It is nonetheless absolutely, unforgiveably horrid.

Dirty Harry on Steroids!

[MovieGuyFunTime · 7/10 · 27 February 2021]

This film has all the classic elements of a Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry film: Renegade loner cop of few words working outside the system, a psychotic bad guy, a partner that gets shot and a big, BIG gun!

In fact, it would not surprise me at all to learn that this film was originally planned as a Dirty Harry project but due to Eastwood's age and a similar plot element as a previous Dirty Harry film (evil cult), it may have simply been rewritten to suit a younger and even more "Over the Top" cop, Sly Stallone. Even the opening sequence featuring a pistol shooting at the viewer after some haunting narration is almost exactly like the opening sequence of Magnum Force (I believe).

While the motivation for the "bad guys" is not very well explained or explored, they seem to be everywhere and highly dedicated to their cause which is apparently ushering in a "new world order" which also isn't very well explained. For all the blood that gets spilled in this movie, I would have liked to have had a bit more background into why all these people feel obligated to murder all the time for no reason... but maybe that's what makes them so bad. Evil doesn't particularly need a reason or an excuse to be evil.

The action scenes are great as expected and the plot and other characters really only serve to justify the Rambo-with-a-badge moments (same director as Rambo). The movie boasts one of the best cars and car-chases ever filmed which is probably the highlight of the movie now that I think of it.

Stallone (Cobra) attempts a few Dirty Harry-like one liners that come off a little forced and flat with dialog that is tough one second and awkwardly compassionate the next. But don't watch this movie for the snappy dialog or great acting... get it for the action scenes and for the underlying message which is: "Some people need to be dealt with harshly because they are pure evil and do not deserve their day in court."

If this WERE a Dirty Harry film, I would say it is better than Dead Pool but not as good as any of the others. A decent-enough film for anyone who vicariously enjoys seeing satanic Marxist cults get destroyed with cool weaponry boasting bottomless ammo magazines.

The Strong Arm Of The Law

[dk777 · 9/10 · 7 March 2021]

An action film that borders on horror, with good actors and an atmosphere that is hard to achieve today.

Sylvester Stallone is a great choice for the role of a tough cop who is brutal towards criminals. Cobra despises crime and journalists, plays rough and does not forgive anyone.

Today, it is almost impossible to make a film like this, with such a great character and a vicious action full of bloodshed. The film is extremely entertaining, well directed, and the soundtrack is great.

The plot is simple, the villains are killing people and Cobra will stop them with all the means at his disposal, and that of course includes a large amount of extreme violence and bloodshed.

The soundtrack is a memorable, complete product of that time and fits the film perfectly.

The film looks like an interesting combination of action film with elements of slasher horror, although Cobra can definitely not be classified as horror, but as an action film that provides the viewer with a great amount of entertainment.

An underrated film that has definitely achieved cult status.

Classic cult „so bad it's good" action movie from the 80's

[Maziun · 6/10 · 11 August 2013]

"Cobra" is pretty much Stallone's tribute to the quintessential maverick detective thriller "Dirty Harry". Stallone even went as far as casting Andrew Robinson and Reni Santori in his movie , both of which starred in "Dirty Harry". The film tries to say something about the inadequacies of the American legal system and that's the main reason why it was criticized by many people.It promotes vigilantism and breaking the rules, if it's necessary to destroy the evil. It also reminds that there is some kind of evil that can't be negotiated or reasoned with and that sometimes the violence is the only answer. The justice system is failing, letting monsters re-enter society causing a risk to the innocents. I agree with what the movie says and I'm not ashamed of it. It's not a movie for people obsessed with political correctness. I can understand people who hate "Cobra". You're either going to love or hate this movie.It is extremely stupid , cheesy and violent action movie. There's not really much plot here, the characters are less than one dimensional , the dialogues are sometimes flat and it all falls apart when you think about it for a second. It's so bad it's fascinating. That's why I love this movie.

This is an very entertaining movie if you don't take it seriously. This is one of the best cheesiest action classics out there. It's a corpse littered escapism . It has a message , but it's mostly pure old school fun. It's a movie where the good guy never gets hit and the villains get what they deserve. A silly, campy, unrealistic and illogical but an entertaining fun action film. They simply don't make 'em like this any more... Cobretti (Watch the movie to hear his real name !) is one of the coolest characters in movie history. He wears long overcoat, sunglasses, chews on a match-stick with a Cobra embossed handgun down the front of his tight jeans. He drives custom 1950 Mercury , cuts his pizza with scissors, puts his newspaper on the barbecue and has a witticism for almost every occasion. His one liners are certainly memorable : "You're the disease , I'm the cure" , "I don't shop here" , "You got a life preserver?... Cause your fries are drowning." , "This is where the law stops, and I start... sucker". Cobretti is invincible and arrogant , but he does have heart and sense of humor. Stallone has been unfairly criticized by his performance . He mumbles his lines with barely any emotion , but that's the whole point of his macho cop. He plays his character the way he should play Judge Dredd – as a tough , barely emotional bastard.

The screenplay was written by Stallone himself and is loosely based on a novel "Fair Game" by Paula Gosling. He just took the basic premise of a cop protecting a woman and going on the run with her. Stallone was also obviously inspired by the "Night Stalker" killings of the previous year (1985), so he gives his villain the similar moniker of the "Night Slasher". Stallone also used a lot of ideas in "Cobra" he developed for "Beverly Hills cop". "Cobra" is an action extravaganza full of violence. Director George P. Cosmatos keeps the movie at quite fast pace with some exciting action scenes . The car chase is one of the finest chases in history of cinema. Cosmatos also manages to successfully add a touch of slasher/horror into action genre. The photography by Ric Waite is excellent. It has a wonderfully moody/Gothic atmosphere at times . The editing is tight thanks to Don Zimmerman . The score by Sylvester Levay is good. There are some great songs here : John Cafferty and The Beaver band "Voice of America's sons" , Jean Brauvoir "Feel the heat" , Robert Tepper "Angel of the city" and Miami sound machine "Suave". Brian Thompson is quite scary and Lee Garlington quite creepy as the villains. Brigitte Nielsen is just bad and she has no chemistry with Sly (it's hard to believe that they were a couple in real life).

"Cobra" is one of the iconic images of the glorious 80's American pop culture. It's a perfectly agreeable time-waster. A fast food for the mind. Too bad they never made a sequel. It was reasonably successful at the Box Office . I've seen a lot , lot worse movies. This is a bad movie , kitsch , but a very likable one. I give it 7/10 , but deep down in my heart it's 10/10.

Very Underrated

[vandammekick · 2 August 2003]

This film deserves much more credit than it has received. Stallone is looking great with tight jeans and stubble chewing on a matchstick which comes in handy in the final bloodshed showdown. Stallone plays Marion Cobretti in a superb action packed thriller filled with one liners in a funny relationship with his partner played by Reni Santoni, sexual tension with his female witness in protective custody played by his then wife Brigitte Nielsen and a raging fury from Stallone intent on eliminating the ruthless killers headed by Brian Thompson (Arnold Schwarzenegger rips his heart out in The Terminator and Jean-Claude Van Damme knocks him out with one kick in Lionheart). These people mean business and Andrew Robinson (Scorpio in Dirty Harry) thinks that a subtle solution can easily be thought of to take them out but it is only Stallone's violent tactics that can ultimately save the day. Essentially Rambo with a badge with the heart of Rocky. Stallone fans will be very pleased in a film that combines all areas of cinema, not just action. Comedy, romance and a great cast complement this already excellent film that Stallone has written which incorporates material from Beverly Hills Cop when he was meant to play Axel Foley. Better that Eddie Murphy Played it because Stallone has a chance to make this two years on. Trivia: Eddie Murphy looks at the Cobra poster in Judge Reinhold's bedroom in Beverly Hills Cop II that Brigitte Nielsen is also in. If you like the Dirty Harry films, Steven Seagal cop films and a Stallone fan in general this is a great film with an excellent soundtrack. Talking of Steven Seagal and soundtrcks, on the trailer for Seagal's Marked For Death it features "Chase", a Sylvester LeVay track from Cobra.

Solid Flick

[austinonifc · 7/10 · 3 March 2023]

Straight forward action flick. Fun throughout. Stallone is great throughout he has great charisma and character as a cop. The bad guy in this movie though is pretty bad ass. What I like about this movie tho is the bad guy felt like a slasher killer like Michael Myers or something. They make him scary and give him a big ass knife with all kinds of needles on it making it look unique. The movie is pretty simple but executed well. It's not a typical bad guy vs cop there's some interesting choices in here that I appreciate. I don't watch a lot of Stallone films but in the one I can see why it's popular. He does great and it makes me want to check out his previous work. Solid Flick !!

So bad, it's good

[stusrt · 6/10 · 5 March 2023]

It's almost feels like one of those spoof films, making fun of action movies. It's really that bad. Every possible corny line, chase, fight, gun fight, etc... Don't think anyone put much effort or thought into it.

The bad guy is always sweating, the bad cop is obvious, Cobra's bosses don't like him, he keeps his pistol in his waistband. Of course he takes on 30 or 40 bad guys by himself, and doesn't even get a scratch.

His gun never runs out of bullets, the woman in trouble falls for him, his partner always has wisecracks - I could go on and on

If you asked AI to create a typical 80's action movie, it would something like this.

But guess what? I enjoyed it.

Watch Only if Your Hemlock Supply Turns Up Empty

[robwms63 · 1/10 · 28 July 2007]

This movie will make you want to die. Horrible film, script insanely bad, performances that are pathetically lame. Not even fun in its horrid incompetence. How did Sly Stallone end up worth a gazillion dollars? You are going to be wondering how he ever got another job after watching 10m of this. And his wife (at the time) can't even play the role of mannequin to which she was so lovingly cast.

The only people who would like this film are the same ones who spent their youth plucking the wings off of flies and squashing tadpoles. Ingesting pesticide, or snorting aerosolized asbestos makes more sense. Hard to make it through. You'll wish you hadn't.