Quotes

Brighton Beach Memoirs

Kate: What would you tell your father if he came home and I was dead on the kitchen floor?
Eugene: "Don't go in the kitchen, Pa"?

Kate: I need bread.
Eugene: What?
Kate: I don't have enough bread. Run over to Greenblatt's and get me a fresh rye bread.
Eugene: Again? I just came back from Grennblatt's.
Kate: So You'll go again.
Eugene: I'm always going to the store. When I grow up, that's all I'll be trained to do, go to the store.
Kate: You don't want to go?... Never mind, I'll go.
Eugene: Don't do that! Don't make me feel guilty. I'll go.
Kate: And get a quarter of a pound of butter.
Eugene: I bought a quarter pound of butter this morning. Why don't you buy a half pound at a time?
Kate: And suppose the house burned down this afternoon? Why do I need an extra quarter pound of butter?
Eugene: [to the audience] If my mom taught logic in high school, this would be some weird country.

Eugene: I think I'm in love with her.
Stanley: Well forget it, she's your cousin!
Eugene: What's wrong with being in love with your cousin?
Stanley: Because it's against the laws of nature! You can't marry your first cousin, you'll get babies with nine heads!

Eugene: Stanley, how do girls... do it?
Stanley: Eugene, I'm dealing with a major problem in my life right now. I don't have time to describe girls masturbating for you!
Eugene: Just draw me a picture, I brought a pencil. You want crayons? Maybe you should do it in color.

[while watching his neighbor undress, Eugene notices a boy from the building across holding binoculars]
Eugene: That dirty little pig! He's watching Nora getting undressed... I wonder if he'd let me come over.

Eugene: Don't hate me for what I'm going to say.
Stanley: What is it?
Eugene: I think Aunt Blanche has a great ass.
Stanley: They're gonna lock you up in a sex asylum. If I was your sister I wouldn't sleep on the same block as you!

Eugene: It was a tense moment for everybody. I love tense moments. Especially when I'm not the one they're all tense about.

[Eugene has just seen his first picture of a nude woman]
Eugene: I have seen the Golden Palace of the Himalayas. Puberty is over! Onward and upward!

Eugene: What if they took a shower together - Aunt Blanche and Nora? If I could walk in and see that I'd thank God and become a rabbi.

[Eugene is explaining his intense desire to play for the Yankees]
Eugene: I'll never make it with the Yankees. All the great Yankees are Italian. My mother makes spaghetti with ketchup - what chance do I have?

Eugene: She saw me on the crapper! Nora saw me on the crapper! I might as well be dead!

Eugene: Liver and cabbage - the Jewish mediaeval torture! My friend Marty Gregori, an A student in Science, told me that cooked cabbage can be smelled farther than sound travelling for seven minutes.

Eugene: [the saga of the liver and cabbage continues] The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife... which is more than I can say for the liver.

[Eugene is spying on a neighbor woman undressing when his cousin Laurie knocks on the door]
Laurie: Eugene, your father wants you to go to the store to get ice cream.
Eugene: Tell him I'm busy... ice cream? Wait a minute, I'll be right there.

Blanche: Do you know how hard it is today for a girl to get a good job without a high school diploma? Tell her, Kate.
Kate: It's very hard.

Eugene: You never told me? What was she like? Was she pretty? How old was she?
Stanley: Don't start in with me Eugene. Every time I get in trouble, I have to tell you what a naked girl looks like? Do me a favor; go in the bathroom, whack off and grow up by yourself!

Jack: [after not getting the family's radio to work] Who's been touching the radio?
[shoots a glare at an innocent Eugene]
Jack: Eugene! It's about Poland, damn it! I don't want anyone touching this radio when I'm not home. Is that clear?
Eugene: Guess who's gonna get blamed for the war in Europe!

Suggest an edit or add missing content

Top Gap

By what name was Brighton Beach Memoirs (1986) officially released in India in English?