- [recording his audio log]
- Zac Hobson: Zac Hobson, July 5th. One: there has been a malfunction in Project Flashlight with devastating results. Two: it seems I am the only person left on Earth.
- Joanne: If we find anyone alive, what do you think they will be like?
- Zac Hobson: We might find all manner of horrors. Politicians... Transvestites...
- [speaking to a cardboard cut-out of Adolf Hitler]
- Zac Hobson: Look, I haven't got time to talk to you. I'm a very busy man! Besides, you've had your turn...
- Joanne: Anything else, sir?
- Zac Hobson: Ah... more crumpet?
- Joanne: Sorry, love, crumpet's off.
- [She turns and leaves the room, revealing that she has cut the back of her skirt off showing her bare buttocks. Zac begins to get up to pursue her, but screams as he accidentally dumps his cup of hot coffee on his crotch]
- Zac Hobson: Something's changed. Can't quite measure it, but I can feel it. It's as though... we've been shifted sideways. The north pole is still up north, but the water keeps going down the black hole the wrong way. I get the feeling... we're either dead... or in a different universe.
- Zac Hobson: I reckon the "effect" was a cosmic event, like the creation. And nobody's ever explained that properly.One the other hand, perhaps nobody disappeared. Only me. *I* am the "effect".
- Joanne: And us?
- Zac Hobson: You're not real. You're in my mind.
- Joanne: You're God.
- Joanne: You know, the interesting thing about friendships is, is that they're not logical. You know how somebody will come up to you and they'll ask you why do you like so and so, and you'll give them all these interesting reasons why you do. But you've actually made them up after you've decided you like them. I reckon you decide that you like somebody in the two seconds that you meet them - you stick to it regardless. So, if you like them, you're gonna find good things in all the bad things they do, and if you don't, you're gonna find bad things in all the good things they do, eh?
- Joanne: The other thing is, you tend to like people that like you.
- Api: And what did you decide about me?
- [Joanne just smiles]
- Api: Guess you like me.
- Joanne: 38:18 I have a theory. I think peoples' faces are like plasticine malleablise, and not rigid, like bone, as doctors would have us believe. And the shape of the face is determined unconsciously by the brain. So if your brain has a low capacity, you would be both ugly and stupid. But if you've got a reasonably good brain, then it's up to you how to decide to use its energy. You could be reasonably attractive, reasonably intelligent, or you could be smart but ugly, or beautiful but stupid.
- Zac Hobson: I have dedicated all my scientific knowledge and skill to projects which I knew could be put to evil purposes. For the common good... they said.
- [recorded cheering]
- Zac Hobson: How easy to believe in the common good, when that belief is rewarded with status, wealth and power!
- [echoes]
- Zac Hobson: How hard to believe in the common good, when every fibre of my being tells me that the awesome forces I have helped to create have been put into the hands of madmen!
- [echoes]
- Zac Hobson: I've been gagged by the volume of my own corruption! Is it not fitting, then, that I be President.. of this... quiet... Earth?