The Wind in the Willows (I) (1983 TV Movie)

David Jason: Toad

Quotes 

• Toad : [flags down Reggie, the motorist]  I say, I wonder if you could help me. Having a spot of bother with me car.

  Reggie : Oh? Wh-wh-what sort of bother?

  Toad : Um... em... it's the... uh... crankshaft... it's um... flat.

  Reggie : Really? Ah ha... I should be able to fix that.

  Reggie's Wife : Oh, shall I come too Reggie?

  [gets out of the car] 

  Reggie : Uh. Wh-wh-wh-where's your machine?

  Toad : [gestures to a spot behind him]  Oh... it's over there. If you'd just take a look at it?

  Reggie : Oh c-certainly old bean. Anything for a fellow motorist.

  [as soon as they move away from their car, Mr. Toad gets in, puts it in gear and drives away] 

  Reggie : Oh, I say!

  [they see Mr. Toad driving down the road erratically, laughing, honking the horn] 

  Reggie's Wife : Oh. Reggie.

• Toad : [having just overflown his friends in his new airplane]  Ha ha! Hello you fellows!

  Rat : You maniac!

  Badger : LOCK HIM UP!

  Mole : Toad! This time you've gone too far!

  Toad : Hang motoring! This is the life!

• Badger : Do you mean to say you *don't* promise never to touch a motorcar again?

  Toad : On the contrary! I *faithfully* promise that the first motor car I see...

  [puts on his driving goggles] 

  Toad : Poop-poop!

• Mole : [after crashing his second car]  You know, I really am worried about Toad.

  Rat : Oh, don't you worry. It's just another one of his passions. He'll grow out of it.

  Toad : [off in the distance]  Poop-poop!

  Rat : I hope.

• Reggie : [giving his statement to the Police Office about his stolen car]  A fellow there flagged me down, cobbled a story about a "flat crankshaft." Well, so I help a fellow motorist, go out, galloped away! Th-the chap's a damn frog!

  Toad : [hears noises. All three turn to see Toad in Reggie's car, still honking the horn and making car noises]  Poop-poop!

  Reggie : I say!

  Toad : [Toad roars past, knocking the police officer and his bicycle over, and Reggie into the arms of his wife]  Wha-wha-hey hey-hey!

  [to the officer] 

  Toad : Fat face!