To Be or Not to Be (1983)

Mel Brooks: Dr. Frederick Bronski

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frederick Bronski : Let's face it, sweetheart: without jews, fags and gypsies there is no theatre.

• [Frederick, Andre, and Dobish are disguised as Hitler and two Nazi offiers] 

  Lieutenant Andre Sobinski : Heil Hitler!

  Dobish : Heil Hitler!

  Frederick Bronski : Heil myself!

• Frederick Bronski : Sondheim! Send in the clowns!

• [Frederick returns home, having succesfully impersonated Siletski at Gestapo headquarters] 

  Frederick Bronski : I did it! I did it! I gave the greatest performance of my life...

  [sinks into a chair and peels off his fake beard] 

  Frederick Bronski : And nobody saw it.

• Frederick Bronski : When this is allover, I'm gonna get you everything you need. You need a coat... you need a dress... you need shoes.

  [Rubbing Andre's face, thinking he's Anna] 

  Frederick Bronski : and you need a shave...

  [he thinks] 

  Frederick Bronski : ... a shave?

• Frederick Bronski : If we don't make it through this, I forgive you for whatever happened between you and Lt. Sobinsky... but if we do, you're in a lot of trouble!

• [holding Frederick at gunpoint] 

  Prof. Siletski : Turn around.

  Frederick Bronski : I won't. I want to see it coming.

  [Siletski cocks the hammer] 

  Frederick Bronski : [turns around]  I don't have to see it coming.

• Frederick Bronski : [as Hitler]  All I want is peace. Peace! Peace!

  [singing] 

  Frederick Bronski : A little piece of Poland, a little piece of France.

• [Frederick, disguised as Professor Siletski, has to go to Gestapo Headquarters] 

  Frederick Bronski : Listen, sweetheart, if I don't come back, then I forgive you for anything that happened between you and Lt. Sobinski.

  [He opens the door to leave, but turns back] 

  Frederick Bronski : But if I do come back, you're in a lot of trouble!

• Colonel Erhardt : [referring to Capt. Schultz]  I've always suspected zumzing wrong vit a man who does not drink or shmoke...

  Frederick Bronski : You mean like our FUHRER?

  Colonel Erhardt : Yes... NO!

• Colonel Erhardt : Cigar? Cigarette? Chocolate-covered nugats?

  Frederick Bronski : Chocolate-covered what?

  Colonel Erhardt : Nugats!

  [Squishing one in his fingers] 

  Frederick Bronski : No. Thank you.

• Anna Bronski : [about the new poster]  Look, I don't mind my name in smaller print. I don't even mind it under the title. But in PARENTHESES?

  Dr. Frederick Bronski : I like it. It sets your name apart.

  Anna Bronski : Well, set yours apart.

• Frederick Bronski : It's a, it's a, it's a RAT hole.

• Frederick Bronski : [disguised as Prof. Siletski]  Remember, Erhardt, I'm going to see the Fuhrer tonight. Who knows *what* we'll talk about!

• [Anne has revealed another group of refugees to Frederick] 

  Frederick Bronski : More! What are they, Jews or rabbits?

• [Frederick, disguised as Hitler, bursts in on Erhardt trying to assault Anna] 

  Colonel Erhardt : [weakly]  Heil Hit... Hit... Hit...

  Anna Bronski : Hitler.

  Colonel Erhardt : Hitler.

  Frederick Bronski : Heil.

  Anna Bronski : I tried to tell him somebody big was coming.

  Colonel Erhardt : Big! But...

  Frederick Bronski : Come schatze, ve're late.

  [Anna exits, but Frederick turns back to Erhardt] 

  Frederick Bronski : Vat's your name?

  Colonel Erhardt : Colonel Er... Er... Er...

  [sticking her head back in] 

  Anna Bronski : Erhardt.

  Colonel Erhardt : Thank you.

  Frederick Bronski : Erhardt? Erhardt? Aren't you the one who makes that joke about my becoming... A PICKLE?

  [He leaves, slamming the door. Erhardt moans] 

• [Frederick has to stall Prof. Siletski while the others rush back to his hotel room to search it] 

  Frederick Bronski : Just don't keep me hanging much longer, I stink without a script!

  Lupinsky : [under his breath]  He stinks with a script.

  Frederick Bronski : I heard that!

• Frederick Bronski : [Disguised as Siletski]  Remember, Earhardt, I'm going to see the Furher tonight - who knows *what* we'll talk about!