The Pee-Wee Herman Show (1981 TV Movie)

Paul Reubens: Pee Wee Herman

Quotes 

• Pee Wee Herman : [Hammy's fly is down]  Hey Hammy, got a license to sell hot dogs?

• [Miss Yvonne notices Pee Wee looking depressed and he explains why] 

  Pee Wee Herman : Once upon a time, there was this boy, and he knew this beautiful woman. It's not you, though. Well, the beautiful woman tells this boy that she has this secret wish, and her wish is that she wants this guy to really like her. So, anyway, the boy makes this huge, personal sacrifice and he gives his wish away.

  Miss Yvonne : To the beautiful woman?

  Pee Wee Herman : That's right.

  [He leaps up from his seat, clearly agitated] 

  Pee Wee Herman : It's not like the boy expects like he's gonna get anything in return or anything, but... but then he doesn't *get* anything in return; nothing happens! Nothing happens at all! Zip, zero, zilch, nada, nothing! No advancement, no nothing! It just doesn't seem fair. It's not like the boy doesn't have a wish of his own. Now... Now I'm never gonna get to...

  [He realizes his mistake] 

  Pee Wee Herman : I mean, now the *boy* is never gonna get to fly... I... I gotta go be myself, Miss Yvonne.

  [He hurries out the door] 

  Miss Yvonne : No, Pee Wee, stay here with me!

  Pee Wee Herman : [crying]  No! No!

  Miss Yvonne : Oh, poor Pee Wee. Just call me Miss Bungle.

• Pterri : They say that Karl is a bad mother...

  Pee Wee Herman : Shut your mouth.

  Pterri : Well I was only talking about Karl.

  Pee Wee Herman : I can dig it.

• [Pee Wee is hypnotizing a member of the audience] 

  Pee Wee Herman : JOAN! Joan! Listen to me, Joan! You are getting drowsy Joan. Your eyelids are getting very very heavy, Joan. You are beginning to feel yourself slipping into a hypnotic state. Just listen to my voice, Joan. Ahhhh... Ahhhh... Ahhhh... Your eyelids are very heavy, Joan. You are hypnotized. Do ya feel hypnotized, Joan?

  Joan : Yes!

  Pee Wee Herman : [looks shocked]  You do?

  [recovers] 

  Pee Wee Herman : I mean, you dooooo!

• Pee Wee Herman : Hi, Kap'n Karl!

  Kap'n Karl : Hello, Pee Wee.

  Pee Wee Herman : [Karl is fishing]  Fishing, huh?

  Kap'n Karl : Yeah, I'm fishing!

  Pee Wee Herman : I've been wishing.

  Kap'n Karl : Well, you can't live on wishes, Pee Wee, you can live on fishes!

• Pee Wee Herman : If I could fly, I'd be the luckiest boy in the world!