Low budget "Barbarella" knock-off manages to be watchable, but is nowhere as funny as it thinks it is. Dorothy Stratten plays the sexy robot Galaxina on a ship of space intergalactic cops patrolling the universe. While the crew is asleep, Galaxina reprograms herself to be more human. Romantic entanglements ensure. Later their ship is sent to recover a mysterious crystal on a planet that resembles the old west, which is a goofily entertaining of genre mash-up. The film mostly wants to operate as a sci-fi spoof of "Star Trek," "Alien," any number of other films in the vein of Mel Brooks, but it's nowhere as clever as Brooks or a Zucker/Abrams/Zucker parody film. Also, the film suffers from being too overt of a sex comedy, which worked much better in "Barbarella," where director Roger Vadim kept the film sexy but also somewhat innocent, where in "Galaxina" it just feels leering and creepy. Despite it's many deficiencies, Stratten demonstrates real star power in a ridiculous film, much like Jane Fonda in "Barbarella," and as bad as this film is, it did make me wish Stratten had gotten to make more films.
64 Reviews
It's not that bad
Sic Coyote21 November 2004
I bought this for £1 on DVD and it got left on my shelf for AGES till I decided to unwrap it and watch it in an effort to get through all the unwatched films in my collection.
The movie didn't start out that promising it and not that funny. You could see the jokes were there but most just didn't work (although I did find anything that came out of Sam Wo's mouth quite funny), as the film gets on the jokes do get better and it's just something you have to get into.
This film is probably best left to those who can stand(or do I mean enjoy) the work of Empire pictures as this will give you an idea of the kind of stuff to expect.
It's not a laugh riot, it's not a classic, but there are some very funny lines in there and interesting visuals. But ultimately I guess it could have been a lot better. I think it may grow on me after a few watches and maybe I could convince some of my friends to watch it too. 4/10
The movie didn't start out that promising it and not that funny. You could see the jokes were there but most just didn't work (although I did find anything that came out of Sam Wo's mouth quite funny), as the film gets on the jokes do get better and it's just something you have to get into.
This film is probably best left to those who can stand(or do I mean enjoy) the work of Empire pictures as this will give you an idea of the kind of stuff to expect.
It's not a laugh riot, it's not a classic, but there are some very funny lines in there and interesting visuals. But ultimately I guess it could have been a lot better. I think it may grow on me after a few watches and maybe I could convince some of my friends to watch it too. 4/10
Dorothy is the only reason to see this unfunny sci-fi spoof
theeht28 September 2000
Dorothy Stratten is the only reason to watch this unfunny sci-fi spoof, and her appearance is a disappointment. Though she has the title role, her screentime is limited, and she only speaks a few lines of dialogue. If you're not a Stratten fan, pass this one up.
It has a subtle genius for failure.
roarshock23 July 2000
A strange thing happened the day after I saw Galaxina, back when it was released. The movie is a spoof of sci-fi movies and is full of jokes, puns and sight gags; but I just sat there in the theater and never laughed once. Or, more accurately, I didn't feel the least tickle of amusement. It was more like a string of detached observations of, "Ah, that joke flopped badly." If it had been a live performance, there would have been those crushing dead silences every time the actors paused to allow reactions to their jokes.
The next night, at a party, I was trying describe just how bad the movie really was. This involved, in part, telling several of the jokes. Surprisingly, my listeners laughed at them. I could flatter myself and claim that I'm such a hot comic that I could get laughs even reading the obituaries out loud. But that ain't so. Let's just say that I gave the jokes a mildly competent delivery... and that's what Galaxina didn't do.
Now, a work of genius is indefinable. No matter how much you analyze it, you can never quite pin down why it is so exceptional, while another film - with all the same objective attributes - is merely competent. The same is true of transcendent badness. The world is full of bad movies, with the same objective failures in budget, acting, writing and directing. But Galaxina is loaded with subtle catastrophes. There are nuances that extract the worst possible effect from so many scenes. And I can't quite figure out how it was done. Without this quality Galaxina might actually have ended up acceptably incompetent, a fun cheapo film, and gotten the laughs I did from its jokes.
The next night, at a party, I was trying describe just how bad the movie really was. This involved, in part, telling several of the jokes. Surprisingly, my listeners laughed at them. I could flatter myself and claim that I'm such a hot comic that I could get laughs even reading the obituaries out loud. But that ain't so. Let's just say that I gave the jokes a mildly competent delivery... and that's what Galaxina didn't do.
Now, a work of genius is indefinable. No matter how much you analyze it, you can never quite pin down why it is so exceptional, while another film - with all the same objective attributes - is merely competent. The same is true of transcendent badness. The world is full of bad movies, with the same objective failures in budget, acting, writing and directing. But Galaxina is loaded with subtle catastrophes. There are nuances that extract the worst possible effect from so many scenes. And I can't quite figure out how it was done. Without this quality Galaxina might actually have ended up acceptably incompetent, a fun cheapo film, and gotten the laughs I did from its jokes.
If you ever wondered...
JoeB13131 December 2006
... what a porn movie would look like if you took out the sex and just left in the bad dialog, cheap sets and bad acting, you would have Galaxina.
This film came out when the Original Star Wars proved there was a market for Science Fiction. This in turn lead to some gems such as Alien and a revitalized Star Trek. Unfortunately, it also led to some bad movies, and this was obviously one of them. (I say obviously, because I hadn't even heard of this film until a few days ago.I missed it when it came out in 1980.)
Here's the underlying problem. Dorothy Stratton couldn't act, so for most of the movie, they didn't even let her try. I understand her tragic death has given this film an undeserved cult status, but for the life of me I can't understand why.
Clearly, the movie tried to Spoof Star Wars, Star Trek and Aliens, but they clearly don't understand than when you spoof something, it has to be FUNNY! This movie wasn't, or at least, the comic timing on jokes that could have been funny weren't. Science Fiction is ripe for parody, as Spaceballs and Galaxy Quest proved. This movie, however, did it poorly.
This film came out when the Original Star Wars proved there was a market for Science Fiction. This in turn lead to some gems such as Alien and a revitalized Star Trek. Unfortunately, it also led to some bad movies, and this was obviously one of them. (I say obviously, because I hadn't even heard of this film until a few days ago.I missed it when it came out in 1980.)
Here's the underlying problem. Dorothy Stratton couldn't act, so for most of the movie, they didn't even let her try. I understand her tragic death has given this film an undeserved cult status, but for the life of me I can't understand why.
Clearly, the movie tried to Spoof Star Wars, Star Trek and Aliens, but they clearly don't understand than when you spoof something, it has to be FUNNY! This movie wasn't, or at least, the comic timing on jokes that could have been funny weren't. Science Fiction is ripe for parody, as Spaceballs and Galaxy Quest proved. This movie, however, did it poorly.
Only try a SF parody if you love SF
unbrokenmetal29 September 2002
Many people are devastated after seeing this movie, saying: how can something be so terribly un-funny? The reason for this total disaster is simple: if you want to do a science fiction parody, you have to understand the rules by which the genre works. John Carpenter did a brilliant comedy with a budget even lower than Galaxina, "Dark Star". He was familiar with the rules of the genre, that's why it worked. "Galaxy Quest" had a few hilariously funny scenes, because the movie was referring to all the cliches of SF. The people who are responsible for Galaxina obviously had no real love for the genre, it was just a futuristic setting but no substance and no concept, thus the movie became entirely empty. Empty of anything: acting, story, fun, thrill... Avoid this void.
Just Not Very Funny...or Very Good Either
mrb198030 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not a movie snob. I've liked lots of movies that critics hate, and I've hated movies that critics love. However, I have to agree with critics here--"Galaxina" is just substandard. Clearly intended to be a comedy, it only has a few scattered laughs. "Galaxina" has poor photography; it has poor special effects; it has some pretty poor acting; and the production values...well, the sets might as well have been made of cardboard.
"Galaxina" tells the story of a spaceship whose crew is looking for a magical object called "The Blue Star". After a long voyage (and some very unconvincing space battles), the crew arrives at its destination, a sort of wild west alien world. There's a painfully unfunny cantina scene (clearly designed to be a spoof of the famous "Star Wars" scene), a chase involving space bikers, and a final getaway.
The cast tries, but can't breathe life into this turkey. Stephen Macht and Avery Schreiber have done better work in other movies. James David Hinton is pretty good as a member of the spaceship's crew. The late Dorothy Stratten stars as the robot of title, and while she looks great, her role doesn't give her much of a chance to act.
You might catch this film to see Dorothy Stratten. However, if you're looking for a good movie, you'll probably want to skip this one.
"Galaxina" tells the story of a spaceship whose crew is looking for a magical object called "The Blue Star". After a long voyage (and some very unconvincing space battles), the crew arrives at its destination, a sort of wild west alien world. There's a painfully unfunny cantina scene (clearly designed to be a spoof of the famous "Star Wars" scene), a chase involving space bikers, and a final getaway.
The cast tries, but can't breathe life into this turkey. Stephen Macht and Avery Schreiber have done better work in other movies. James David Hinton is pretty good as a member of the spaceship's crew. The late Dorothy Stratten stars as the robot of title, and while she looks great, her role doesn't give her much of a chance to act.
You might catch this film to see Dorothy Stratten. However, if you're looking for a good movie, you'll probably want to skip this one.
Just Plain Awful
garyldibert24 January 2009
This picture hit the movie screens on June 6th 1980, starring Stephen Macht as Sergeant Thor, Avery Schreiber as Captain Comelius Butt, J.D. Hinton as Buzz and starring Playmate of the year Dorothy Stratton. The picture starts with the police infinity roaming space looking for I guess criminals. There ship is suddenly attacked by an unknown space ship. Enters Sergeant Thor and his partner Buzz as they try to figure out who the unknown ship belongs to. When failing they call on Captain Comelius who instructs his crew to fight back. Enters the gorgeous Dorothy Stratton, who plays the role of Galaxina who is man made robot. An now a few thoughts on this picture. This movie was plan stupid and it's one of the reasons that I don't get into Sci-Fi. If you're into Sci-Fi you would have notice that the laser sound effects were borrowed from an early Sci-fi movie titled Battlestar Galactica which aired in theaters in 1978. Many of the door sounds that you hear in this movie came from another Sci-Fi movie that aired back in 1966 titled Star Trek. Now for the reason that I bought this movie, Dorothy Stratton. She is gorgeous in her one piece suit. I think her talents were wasted in this picture and she should have never been involved in such garbage. Connie Sellecca was also considered for the role and her talents would have been wasted also. On the picture alone I give this movie 1 weasel star and on Dorothy Stratton I give her 10 weasel stars even though she didn't deserve to be put into a trash movie like this. If you like pictures like this you can get the DVD version on Amazon.com
Galaxina just doesn't work on any level.
madkaugh29 November 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This is not the worst movie I've ever seen. I did not feel like I wanted to remove my eyeballs forcibly after watching Galaxina. It just is not good. The jokes are almost funny, but fall short. All of them. The few gags that come close are beat back down by repeating them over and over. The production values are, well, non-existent. The sound is bad, the lighting is bad, ... it just seems cheaply made; overly so. The dialog ... well, often it is missing - many awkward silences; they are all just standing around, and it seems like someone should be saying something. The film even seems ambivalent about what it wants to be - it is not always clear that it was intended as a comedy - like maybe that developed after shooting started. It feels like someone's film project that they threw together the night before it was due, and if they had put two weeks into it, it could have been good.
And I'm easy to please. I thought "Mom and Dad Save the World" was a hoot. I like "Pluto Nash". "Mystery Men" is one of my favorite movies. "Spaced Invaders" is well nigh unto a classic. This turkey just doesn't do it. "Space Truckers" was more believable.
Avery Schreiber, who can be very funny, tries too hard. His part calls for a straightman, and he plays it leaning toward sitcom. Dorothy Stratten is OK in her role, but not particularly noteworthy.
Oh, yeah, the "My watch is always slow." line was funny. I'll give this movie all the kudos it can get, it needs it.
The space vehicle models are not bad, but they are few and are not used effectively. The space scenes are vague. No sweeping passes, no close up detailed fly-bys, not even appropriate action scenes when they dock. (The Infinity does crash land very oddly at one point.) The flight dynamics are terrible; worse than anything you've seen, they're jerky, not smooth. The initial battle is stilted and static; even though the two ships have just shown that they can maneuver in their jerky fashion, they trade (slow) shots at close range in a manner that is more reminiscent of a 16th century sea battle, except not as exciting.
The aliens - imagine if all of Star Wars was the cantina scene. That many rubber masks could get dull rather rapidly, no? A few are used as sight gags that work OK the first time, but not the fifth.
Mercifully, if you attempt to watch Galaxina, you are likely to fall asleep. (I got busy doing something else and missed the last ten minutes, and did not feel like it was worth replaying it. If that doesn't say "It sucked", I don't know what does.) Sadly, there is a lot of potential, and this could easily have been a good movie. It would be easy to remake this and have a decent film.
MadKaugh
And I'm easy to please. I thought "Mom and Dad Save the World" was a hoot. I like "Pluto Nash". "Mystery Men" is one of my favorite movies. "Spaced Invaders" is well nigh unto a classic. This turkey just doesn't do it. "Space Truckers" was more believable.
Avery Schreiber, who can be very funny, tries too hard. His part calls for a straightman, and he plays it leaning toward sitcom. Dorothy Stratten is OK in her role, but not particularly noteworthy.
Oh, yeah, the "My watch is always slow." line was funny. I'll give this movie all the kudos it can get, it needs it.
The space vehicle models are not bad, but they are few and are not used effectively. The space scenes are vague. No sweeping passes, no close up detailed fly-bys, not even appropriate action scenes when they dock. (The Infinity does crash land very oddly at one point.) The flight dynamics are terrible; worse than anything you've seen, they're jerky, not smooth. The initial battle is stilted and static; even though the two ships have just shown that they can maneuver in their jerky fashion, they trade (slow) shots at close range in a manner that is more reminiscent of a 16th century sea battle, except not as exciting.
The aliens - imagine if all of Star Wars was the cantina scene. That many rubber masks could get dull rather rapidly, no? A few are used as sight gags that work OK the first time, but not the fifth.
Mercifully, if you attempt to watch Galaxina, you are likely to fall asleep. (I got busy doing something else and missed the last ten minutes, and did not feel like it was worth replaying it. If that doesn't say "It sucked", I don't know what does.) Sadly, there is a lot of potential, and this could easily have been a good movie. It would be easy to remake this and have a decent film.
MadKaugh
Bad, but good fun...
Enchorde12 December 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Recap: The police cruiser Infinity is given the gruesome task to go to the planet Altair to retrieve the Blue Star (tadaa). The crew, already bored from a long patrol mission, do not really look forward to the 54 year roundtrip. Well, to ease their mind they're given a day off at the local brothel before leaving. And during the travel to Altair, Galaxina, the hot but inaccessible robot that flies the ship during cryosleep, alters herself so she could fall in love with the sergeant
But Ordric from Mordric ha his own plans for the Blue Star (tadaa).
Comments: A low budget (or so it seems now anyway), part spoof part comedy sci-fi. The effects are just barely better than atrocious, the acting really horrible. This is that kind of a movie that is fun to watch because it is so bad, so ridiculous (such as tire screeches in space, yes really). So, despite its poor quality, it is actually quite entertaining. They just don't make those kind of movies anymore.
On a sadder note, watch Dorothy Stratten, a beautiful twenty year old girl, play Galaxina. She was murdered before the original premiere Her legacy resulted in more movies, and today it might be as much reason to watch Galaxina. If you're not into silly movies like this one
5/10
Comments: A low budget (or so it seems now anyway), part spoof part comedy sci-fi. The effects are just barely better than atrocious, the acting really horrible. This is that kind of a movie that is fun to watch because it is so bad, so ridiculous (such as tire screeches in space, yes really). So, despite its poor quality, it is actually quite entertaining. They just don't make those kind of movies anymore.
On a sadder note, watch Dorothy Stratten, a beautiful twenty year old girl, play Galaxina. She was murdered before the original premiere Her legacy resulted in more movies, and today it might be as much reason to watch Galaxina. If you're not into silly movies like this one
5/10
GALAXINA (William Sachs, 1980) *1/2
Bunuel197613 April 2007
I have yet to watch STARCRASH (1979) - that notoriously cheesy Italian take on STAR WARS (1977) - but it can't be much worse than this misbegotten piece of junk which, suffice it to say, makes Mel Brooks' so-so SPACEBALLS (1987) look like a veritable work of art! In fact, the main reason why GALAXINA is remembered at all nowadays is because of the tragic fate which befell its leading lady - Playboy centerfold Dorothy Stratten who was killed by her insanely jealous estranged husband - before the film had even had its official premiere!
Although Statten (who subsequently had two biopics made about her wherein she was portrayed by Jamie Lee Curtis and Mariel Hemingway) plays the title role, for the first half of the film she is reduced to being propped up in a chair ostensibly driving a spaceship on a 27-year journey to some planet or other; in fact, Galaxina is an all-purpose android who also serves the wacky crew their snacks, gets them all hot under the collar and even goes scouting for the Blue Star (cue choral music) once they land! Having said that, Statten certainly looks luminous in her white attire and, even if her role hardly demands much exertion of any acting talent she might possess, it's not exactly demeaning either.
Still, it's ironic that for a film which bears her name, she is overshadowed by the campy and would-be zany antics of her fellow crew members, especially the annoying Captain Cornelius Butt (which gives you the idea of the level of comedy on display here), a long-eared, wing-sporting colored guy, a pot-smoking, proverb-quoting old Chinaman and, best of all (relatively speaking) a foul-mouthed, rock-eating, hairy alien creature they hold prisoner. The villain of the piece is a metal-clad non-entity who does, however, have the best laugh in the film when, upon hearing the choral music following his every mention of the Blue Star, exclaims, "What is this s**t?" There is little point in listing the sci-fi classics which are mauled by this stinker in its ludicrous attempts at spoofing the genre since they are not only lame but obvious; incredibly enough, a chest-busting but ultimately benign alien is apparently played by diminutive Hollywood veteran, Angelo Rossitto!
For what it's worth, then, the scenes shot on the planet they visit (which looks more like a Western set than a planetary landscape) have a yellowish, sun-like hue and its inhabitants are 'human gourmets' (delicacies on their menu include Skin and Tonic, Scotsman on the Rocks, Thigh Pies, Baked Alaskan, etc), not to mention a motorcycle gang who serve their own particular deity (the Harley Davidson) and when our heroes escape on the back of it, they dare not shoot at them for fear of hitting their "Lord". God(awful) indeed...
Although Statten (who subsequently had two biopics made about her wherein she was portrayed by Jamie Lee Curtis and Mariel Hemingway) plays the title role, for the first half of the film she is reduced to being propped up in a chair ostensibly driving a spaceship on a 27-year journey to some planet or other; in fact, Galaxina is an all-purpose android who also serves the wacky crew their snacks, gets them all hot under the collar and even goes scouting for the Blue Star (cue choral music) once they land! Having said that, Statten certainly looks luminous in her white attire and, even if her role hardly demands much exertion of any acting talent she might possess, it's not exactly demeaning either.
Still, it's ironic that for a film which bears her name, she is overshadowed by the campy and would-be zany antics of her fellow crew members, especially the annoying Captain Cornelius Butt (which gives you the idea of the level of comedy on display here), a long-eared, wing-sporting colored guy, a pot-smoking, proverb-quoting old Chinaman and, best of all (relatively speaking) a foul-mouthed, rock-eating, hairy alien creature they hold prisoner. The villain of the piece is a metal-clad non-entity who does, however, have the best laugh in the film when, upon hearing the choral music following his every mention of the Blue Star, exclaims, "What is this s**t?" There is little point in listing the sci-fi classics which are mauled by this stinker in its ludicrous attempts at spoofing the genre since they are not only lame but obvious; incredibly enough, a chest-busting but ultimately benign alien is apparently played by diminutive Hollywood veteran, Angelo Rossitto!
For what it's worth, then, the scenes shot on the planet they visit (which looks more like a Western set than a planetary landscape) have a yellowish, sun-like hue and its inhabitants are 'human gourmets' (delicacies on their menu include Skin and Tonic, Scotsman on the Rocks, Thigh Pies, Baked Alaskan, etc), not to mention a motorcycle gang who serve their own particular deity (the Harley Davidson) and when our heroes escape on the back of it, they dare not shoot at them for fear of hitting their "Lord". God(awful) indeed...
Fantastic!
scottishgirl-119 February 2006
If you take this movie as camp, and don't expect any deep "filme discovere" nuances, you will have a helluva good time! There are many quotable lines, so if you watch it with a bunch of friends, you may find yourselves saying to one another, "If a jackass had both your brains, he'd be a very dumb jackass!" Avery Schreiber is one of those poor souls who were delegated to the "sidekick" and "character actor" roles. You may remember him from commercials, rather than from film, but he is a force to be reckoned with, comically. I can almost unequivocally guarantee that you will LOVE him in this film! This film is one of those rare gems that transcends its own "badness." It is so supremely awful, that it becomes great.....Much like Woody Allen.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Galaxina
Scarecrow-8826 November 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Daffy sci-fi spoof, from director William Sachs(The Incredible Melting Man), has a space crew commissioned to find a blue crystal, dueling with a villainous mechanical creature also desiring it. The film's titular character is played by Dorothy Stratton, hired it seems based on her sexiness(..she does look mighty fine in her tight space suit)alone for she remains rather "robotic"(..written as a robot allows her to look great without worry of delivering a meaningful performance)throughout. Stephen Macht is a crew member in love with Galaxina, but is not allowed to touch her due to programming wiring her to shock anyone who makes contact. Soon, however, somehow Galaxina finds a way to feel an emotional attachment to him, and while the crew are in suspended animation for decades due to their ship's inability to hyper-jump through space as other more superior travel vessels, readjusting her programing so she can develop more intimacy with the man she loves.
Sachs' film homages Kubrick's 2001 by featuring almost exclusively classical composers' works as the score to Galaxina. You get spirited homages to Star Wars as Sachs' film features an alien western bar where humans are on the menu, and an intergalactic brothel(..oh, Sachs, you sly devil, you!)where weary travelers can unwind. The budget for the ship interiors, costumes, and special effects involving the space vessels are quite small. There are lots of ugly rubber-suited creatures(..including a rock-eating monster with piranha teeth kept prisoner in the ship for swallowing the Queen's jewels)and ghastly make-up effects on the faces of many humans portraying alien humanoids. While not always hitting the mark, Sachs provides enough for fans of popular sci-fi films of the time(..including an inspired homage to Alien)to keep his audience entertained.
Avery Schreiber is the captain of the ship, with James D Hinton as Macht's sidekick, wearing a cowboy hat and a soiled Dodgers jersey. The planet of Altar, where the blue crystal is located, is a place where the worst of the galaxies retreat, including a gang of leather hoods who worship a Harley Davidson motorcycle as it's god, and plenty of ghoulish alien monsters. Other crew members under Captain Cornelius Butt(Schreidber)include Lionel Mark Smith as Maurice, with pointy ears and bat-like wings, and Tad Horino, as a pipe-smoking china-man always offering words of wisdom rejected by his peers..they are the ones with the responsibility of the ship's engineering, keeping the rust bucket up and running. I think this is the kind of flick to watch on those dead afternoons when nothing's happening and you want to waste 80 minutes. Stratton is mighty nice to gaze upon for 80 minutes, as well.
Sachs' film homages Kubrick's 2001 by featuring almost exclusively classical composers' works as the score to Galaxina. You get spirited homages to Star Wars as Sachs' film features an alien western bar where humans are on the menu, and an intergalactic brothel(..oh, Sachs, you sly devil, you!)where weary travelers can unwind. The budget for the ship interiors, costumes, and special effects involving the space vessels are quite small. There are lots of ugly rubber-suited creatures(..including a rock-eating monster with piranha teeth kept prisoner in the ship for swallowing the Queen's jewels)and ghastly make-up effects on the faces of many humans portraying alien humanoids. While not always hitting the mark, Sachs provides enough for fans of popular sci-fi films of the time(..including an inspired homage to Alien)to keep his audience entertained.
Avery Schreiber is the captain of the ship, with James D Hinton as Macht's sidekick, wearing a cowboy hat and a soiled Dodgers jersey. The planet of Altar, where the blue crystal is located, is a place where the worst of the galaxies retreat, including a gang of leather hoods who worship a Harley Davidson motorcycle as it's god, and plenty of ghoulish alien monsters. Other crew members under Captain Cornelius Butt(Schreidber)include Lionel Mark Smith as Maurice, with pointy ears and bat-like wings, and Tad Horino, as a pipe-smoking china-man always offering words of wisdom rejected by his peers..they are the ones with the responsibility of the ship's engineering, keeping the rust bucket up and running. I think this is the kind of flick to watch on those dead afternoons when nothing's happening and you want to waste 80 minutes. Stratton is mighty nice to gaze upon for 80 minutes, as well.
Flesh Gordon its not,but.........
dunsuls-128 September 2012
Warning: Spoilers
There are a few reasons to view this film when there is nothing else important to see.First off as a parody of sci-fi and westerns it's so bad it's high camp.Second,some really bad acting that makes you wonder how wonderful character actor Stephen Macht got caught in this as well as veteran funny man Avery Schreiber.Finally,Dorothy Stratten,who was killed in a sensational Hollywood murder the same year,1980 as this 95 minute film was released.She was indeed beautiful and had a screen presence if not really a "good"actress. Back to the film.It's pretty bad BUT it does reference a few good films and the "Star Wars"bar parodies as well as the old "Flash Gordon"music are fun to see and hear.The film"Flesh Gordon"had better effects but this parodies a few films rather than spoofing only one well.The "shootout"parody of "Good the Bad and the Ugly"is also amusing.Its just the bad acting.Tepid recommendation.
I laughed anyway
unclemarcus13 July 2002
Sometimes movies are SO bad you just laugh anyway. (There are exceptions, such as Barfly. Worst movie ever made). I know loads of people who saw this movie at my house and almost everyone giggled at the silliness or moaned in pain at a really bad one liner. The movie is not the greatest in the world, but good enough for bad science fiction fans. The idea of the movie might be used today and rewritten. With the effects that can be done today, it could be funny if someone did it right. I recommend you watch it at least once. Be prepared for dry, goofy humor and sight gags that almost work... but have a sense of humor when you watch it or you will fall asleep. Watch for the bad edits. I had a lot of fun watching this one with my friends and a bottle of tequila.
Deliciously Awful! One of my favorite bad movies.
gallopinggiraffes24 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
For connoisseurs of bad movies, Galaxina is a true gem. With truly horrid dialog, acting, and directing, it's no choice for people seeking a proper movie. But as one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies of its genre, it's priceless for a good laugh. In particular, the scenes involving the Harley Davidson-worshiping motorcycle cult are especially good, and many other scenes present an opportunity for a cheap laugh.
Sadly, the scenes with Dorothy Stratten really fail to deliver, but since she's playing an android, I suppose one can excuse her for wooden acting.
Bad movie-lovers, don't pass this one up!
Sadly, the scenes with Dorothy Stratten really fail to deliver, but since she's playing an android, I suppose one can excuse her for wooden acting.
Bad movie-lovers, don't pass this one up!
How Not To Make A Supremely Bad Comedy
castiron-24 February 2002
The odd thing about Galaxina is not that it is supremely bad, although it is. The odd thing is that in spite of being supremely bad, it is not funny. Supremely bad movies have their own particular brand of unintended humor--the secret of their success, you might say. But Galaxina is quite uniquely different--it is MST3K's worst nightmare, a bad movie in which the intentional *and* the unintentional humor alike fall flat.
It is easy enough to figure out why the intentional jokes fail--and the reasons are quite varied. Sometimes it's a timing question; sometimes it's a good idea badly worked out (the human restaurant *could* have been hilarious, but it wasn't); sometimes it feels like there was some mixup in the cutting room, with the punchline ending up on the floor; and sometimes the jokes are just bad jokes. Bad movies get their laughs from such unintentional snafus. It's harder to figure out why Galaxina doesn't get any laughs on that count. Something is subtly wrong with the unintentional humor in this movie, just as something is wrong (not at all subtly) with the intentional humor. It is a supremely bad movie whose very badness is not the redeeming quality it usually is. It's absolutely unique in my experience.
It is easy enough to figure out why the intentional jokes fail--and the reasons are quite varied. Sometimes it's a timing question; sometimes it's a good idea badly worked out (the human restaurant *could* have been hilarious, but it wasn't); sometimes it feels like there was some mixup in the cutting room, with the punchline ending up on the floor; and sometimes the jokes are just bad jokes. Bad movies get their laughs from such unintentional snafus. It's harder to figure out why Galaxina doesn't get any laughs on that count. Something is subtly wrong with the unintentional humor in this movie, just as something is wrong (not at all subtly) with the intentional humor. It is a supremely bad movie whose very badness is not the redeeming quality it usually is. It's absolutely unique in my experience.
GALAXINA Completely Fails as a Comedy; Zero Laughs to be Found
brando6472 July 2016
I've seen GALAXINA referred to as a "cult favorite" to which my response is, "For whom?" There are endless better descriptions of this sci-fi/"comedy" from writer/director William Sachs. Here is a short selection from which to choose: crap, rubbish, garbage, the cinematic equivalent to that murky water that pools under dumpsters, and an excruciating waste of time for all parties involved. I've seen it twice in my life (and likely never again) and I've never been able to stomach it in one sitting. It follows the crew of the space police patrol ship Infinity in the year 3008. The crew consists of Captain Cornelius Butt (Avery Schreiber), his second in command Sergeant Thor (Stephen Macht), the ship's pilot Buzz (J.D. Hinton), the engineers Maurice (Lionel Mark Smith) and Sam Wo (Tad Horino), and the ship's service droid Galaxina (Dorothy Stratten). I guess the movie is about the love developing between the lecherous Thor and poor Galaxina but we're also forced to suffer through an inane B-plot where the crew is sent twenty-seven years into deep space to the former penal colony on Altar 1 to recover something called the "blue star" which gives its user the power to conquer the universe. An alien named Ordic (Ronald Knight) also has sights on the blue star and so the race is on to see who can find it first. There's a good chance none of this matters though because the movie is so mercilessly not funny that you'll be struggling to care.
"You know, kid, you got a bad habit. You breathe." – Captain Butt
If the fact that the captain is named Butt (and you're meant to laugh at it) wasn't enough of a warning, the sense of dread should wash over you around the time Butt starts dropping such golden lines as the one above. But to even get to the point where you're forced to suffer through the dialogue, you have to sit through almost ten minutes of shots of the Infinity traveling through space, an opening text scrawl, and the opening credits. Once we finally get to the characters, you're immediately hit with guffaw-worthy gags like the alien opera on TV broadcasting "live from Uranus" and Butt hitting his crew with zingers like, "If a jack*** had both your brains, he'd be a dumb jack***." Classic. There's also a rock-eating alien in the ship's brig for Butt to torment that's supposed to be funny because it uses foul language and eats rocks. This rock-eater (and that's as close as we get to a name for it) looks like a costume you'd see in the background of the Mos Eisely scene in STAR WARS, except STAR WARS would've been smart enough not to give the character any lines because then it just looks stupid with it's flapping puppet mouth. Speaking of STAR WARS, you'll see it's influence all over this fecal pile; same with STAR TREK and ALIEN. It's just a constant reminder that you could be watching better movies.
Let's ignore the fact that 100% of the film's jokes fall flat and that nothing of importance happens until somewhere around the movie's halfway point (or arguably ever). What about the characters themselves? Anyone relatable or semi-interesting? You can probably already guess the answer to that. I'm pretty sure I can skip Captain Butt here. Thor is our "hero" and the inevitable love interest for Galaxina. Our first glimpse into their budding love is when he attempts to grope under her skirt at dinner and gets an electric shock for his effort. He later tries to force himself on her in private (and gets electrocuted again) before getting his rocks off (you'll hear the pun a lot thanks to the rock eater) at an intergalactic brothel. Oh, and it's while spying on Thor in the brothel that Galaxina first shows signs of affection for him. So, analyze that. So Thor's a horrible human being. How do the rest fare? One-dimensionally. No one else gets more than a character trait or two to define them. Buzz is a good ol' boy. Maurice is some sort of man-bat with pointed ears and tiny useless wings on his shoulders, and Sam is a wizened old Asian man who's constantly stoned and speaks in fortune cookies. Then there's the fact that the movie sees women as nothing more than sex objects while the only two non-white characters are treated like lesser crewman (Maurice and Sam are the only characters absent from the dinner scene).
GALAXINA earns minor points for surprisingly effective production design and cinematography. The miniatures used in the space sequences are believable for a few minutes before they just aren't. This movie looks a lot better than it has any right to but it's not enough to save it. There's nothing more painful to watch than comedy that utterly fails to be funny, and GALAXINA reminds me a lot of another garbage sci- fi/"comedy" from the '80s: MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE. I despised that movie too. GALAXINA might be a different type of bad from MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE, but it's definitely as bad.
"You know, kid, you got a bad habit. You breathe." – Captain Butt
If the fact that the captain is named Butt (and you're meant to laugh at it) wasn't enough of a warning, the sense of dread should wash over you around the time Butt starts dropping such golden lines as the one above. But to even get to the point where you're forced to suffer through the dialogue, you have to sit through almost ten minutes of shots of the Infinity traveling through space, an opening text scrawl, and the opening credits. Once we finally get to the characters, you're immediately hit with guffaw-worthy gags like the alien opera on TV broadcasting "live from Uranus" and Butt hitting his crew with zingers like, "If a jack*** had both your brains, he'd be a dumb jack***." Classic. There's also a rock-eating alien in the ship's brig for Butt to torment that's supposed to be funny because it uses foul language and eats rocks. This rock-eater (and that's as close as we get to a name for it) looks like a costume you'd see in the background of the Mos Eisely scene in STAR WARS, except STAR WARS would've been smart enough not to give the character any lines because then it just looks stupid with it's flapping puppet mouth. Speaking of STAR WARS, you'll see it's influence all over this fecal pile; same with STAR TREK and ALIEN. It's just a constant reminder that you could be watching better movies.
Let's ignore the fact that 100% of the film's jokes fall flat and that nothing of importance happens until somewhere around the movie's halfway point (or arguably ever). What about the characters themselves? Anyone relatable or semi-interesting? You can probably already guess the answer to that. I'm pretty sure I can skip Captain Butt here. Thor is our "hero" and the inevitable love interest for Galaxina. Our first glimpse into their budding love is when he attempts to grope under her skirt at dinner and gets an electric shock for his effort. He later tries to force himself on her in private (and gets electrocuted again) before getting his rocks off (you'll hear the pun a lot thanks to the rock eater) at an intergalactic brothel. Oh, and it's while spying on Thor in the brothel that Galaxina first shows signs of affection for him. So, analyze that. So Thor's a horrible human being. How do the rest fare? One-dimensionally. No one else gets more than a character trait or two to define them. Buzz is a good ol' boy. Maurice is some sort of man-bat with pointed ears and tiny useless wings on his shoulders, and Sam is a wizened old Asian man who's constantly stoned and speaks in fortune cookies. Then there's the fact that the movie sees women as nothing more than sex objects while the only two non-white characters are treated like lesser crewman (Maurice and Sam are the only characters absent from the dinner scene).
GALAXINA earns minor points for surprisingly effective production design and cinematography. The miniatures used in the space sequences are believable for a few minutes before they just aren't. This movie looks a lot better than it has any right to but it's not enough to save it. There's nothing more painful to watch than comedy that utterly fails to be funny, and GALAXINA reminds me a lot of another garbage sci- fi/"comedy" from the '80s: MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE. I despised that movie too. GALAXINA might be a different type of bad from MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE, but it's definitely as bad.
It does not deserve to be remembered for anything else.
JamesHitchcock3 August 2015
Dorothy Stratten (nee Dorothy Ruth Hoogstraten) was a working-class girl from Vancouver, British Columbia who became a model and, at the age of nineteen, was chosen as the Playboy Playmate of the Month for August 1979. She became Playmate of the Year the following year. Most Playmates tend to disappear from sight after their month in the spotlight, but Dorothy was widely regarded as being far more than just a pretty face. She was also regarded as a promising up-and-coming actress and had appeared in three films when, in August 1980, she was murdered by her estranged husband Paul Snider who was jealous of her relationship with the film director Peter Bogdanovich. (Snider committed suicide immediately after killing Dorothy).
I have never seen Dorothy's first film, "Autumn Born, or her third, "They All Laughed", her only appearance in a major Hollywood studio production. I did, however, see "Galaxina", when it was recently shown on a British movie channel, and I was left wishing I hadn't. The less said about its plot the better. It's supposed to be a comedy set on board the Intergalactic Space Police cruiser "Infinity" in the year 3008, and what plot there is deals with the ship's journey to the distant planet Altair One to recover a priceless stolen gemstone called the Blue Star, with a subplot about the love affair which develops between the ship's second-in-command Sergeant Thor and a beautiful female robot named Galaxina. This might seem to be a doomed romance, but we are solemnly assured that by the thirty-first century science has been able to create machines which are capable of feeling emotions. Actually, although Galaxina is supposed to be a robot, she doesn't look like one at all. In fact, she looks just like Playboy's Playmate of the Year for 3008. Assuming, that is, that Playboy still be published that far-distant date.
The film attempts to generate humour by parodying mainstream science fiction films and television programmes such as "Star Wars", "Star Trek" and the "Alien" series. Like some other spoof movies from this period, "Top Secret!" being another example, it uses a scattergun approach, not confining its parody to one sole genre. Besides sci-fi it also tries to send up Westerns and biker movies like "The Wild One" or "Easy Rider"; the inhabitants of Altair One are all members of biker gangs and worship a god known as "Harlee-David-Son". (I can't think what the origin of that particular name might be!)
The problem with aiming at so many different targets is that you will end up missing all of them. As Mel Brooks demonstrated in "Blazing Saddles" and "Spaceballs" it is possible to satirise effectively both the Western and the space epic. It is probably not a good idea to attempt both in the same film. All the humour in Galaxina is leaden and pointless; simply calling a character with odd-shaped ears "Mr Spot" rather than "Mr Spock" does not amount to a witty comment on "Star Trek". The quality of the acting is just as bad as the quality of the script. If the advanced technology of 3008 has been able to endow robots not only with consciousness but also with emotions you would not guess so from Stratten's performance. Galaxina might look like a beautiful woman but acts like a soulless machine. To be fair to Stratten, her co- stars, if one can legitimately use the word "star" about actors so lacking in star quality, are even worse. Their performances might lead one to conclude that the greatest triumph of thirty-first century science has been not to endow robots with a personality but to remove all traces of personality from the human race.
This was one of a number of low-budget science fiction films which were rushed out in the late seventies and early eighties to cash in on the sci-fi boom started by "Star Wars". Some of these, such as the British- made "Flash Gordon", are quite endearing, but some of them are every bit as bad as the worst of the "so bad they're funny" sci-fi films of the fifties such as the notorious "Plan 9 from Outer Space". "Galaxina" falls firmly into this latter category. Indeed, I would rate it as the worst post-1970 sci-fi film I have ever seen along with the equally dismal British "Inseminoid", also from 1980. The film is still remembered for the tragic fate of its leading lady. It does not deserve to be remembered for anything else. 1/10
I have never seen Dorothy's first film, "Autumn Born, or her third, "They All Laughed", her only appearance in a major Hollywood studio production. I did, however, see "Galaxina", when it was recently shown on a British movie channel, and I was left wishing I hadn't. The less said about its plot the better. It's supposed to be a comedy set on board the Intergalactic Space Police cruiser "Infinity" in the year 3008, and what plot there is deals with the ship's journey to the distant planet Altair One to recover a priceless stolen gemstone called the Blue Star, with a subplot about the love affair which develops between the ship's second-in-command Sergeant Thor and a beautiful female robot named Galaxina. This might seem to be a doomed romance, but we are solemnly assured that by the thirty-first century science has been able to create machines which are capable of feeling emotions. Actually, although Galaxina is supposed to be a robot, she doesn't look like one at all. In fact, she looks just like Playboy's Playmate of the Year for 3008. Assuming, that is, that Playboy still be published that far-distant date.
The film attempts to generate humour by parodying mainstream science fiction films and television programmes such as "Star Wars", "Star Trek" and the "Alien" series. Like some other spoof movies from this period, "Top Secret!" being another example, it uses a scattergun approach, not confining its parody to one sole genre. Besides sci-fi it also tries to send up Westerns and biker movies like "The Wild One" or "Easy Rider"; the inhabitants of Altair One are all members of biker gangs and worship a god known as "Harlee-David-Son". (I can't think what the origin of that particular name might be!)
The problem with aiming at so many different targets is that you will end up missing all of them. As Mel Brooks demonstrated in "Blazing Saddles" and "Spaceballs" it is possible to satirise effectively both the Western and the space epic. It is probably not a good idea to attempt both in the same film. All the humour in Galaxina is leaden and pointless; simply calling a character with odd-shaped ears "Mr Spot" rather than "Mr Spock" does not amount to a witty comment on "Star Trek". The quality of the acting is just as bad as the quality of the script. If the advanced technology of 3008 has been able to endow robots not only with consciousness but also with emotions you would not guess so from Stratten's performance. Galaxina might look like a beautiful woman but acts like a soulless machine. To be fair to Stratten, her co- stars, if one can legitimately use the word "star" about actors so lacking in star quality, are even worse. Their performances might lead one to conclude that the greatest triumph of thirty-first century science has been not to endow robots with a personality but to remove all traces of personality from the human race.
This was one of a number of low-budget science fiction films which were rushed out in the late seventies and early eighties to cash in on the sci-fi boom started by "Star Wars". Some of these, such as the British- made "Flash Gordon", are quite endearing, but some of them are every bit as bad as the worst of the "so bad they're funny" sci-fi films of the fifties such as the notorious "Plan 9 from Outer Space". "Galaxina" falls firmly into this latter category. Indeed, I would rate it as the worst post-1970 sci-fi film I have ever seen along with the equally dismal British "Inseminoid", also from 1980. The film is still remembered for the tragic fate of its leading lady. It does not deserve to be remembered for anything else. 1/10
Don't expect too much
youngmarwood13 October 2005
I've seen worse films. This is bad but at least doesn't try to be good so it deserves a brief round of applause. It rest firmly in the realms of the low-budget B-movie sci-fi genre.
It is a rubbish film but in a nice way and is certainly worth buying if it's in the bargain bin at your local supermarket. Awfully charming rather than just plain awful.
The highlight for me is when Galaxina's lover goes to rescue her. Upon turning up she exclaims "Bunnyfluff!" which draws sniggers from his co-pilot.
Sit back, get drunk, enjoy!
It is a rubbish film but in a nice way and is certainly worth buying if it's in the bargain bin at your local supermarket. Awfully charming rather than just plain awful.
The highlight for me is when Galaxina's lover goes to rescue her. Upon turning up she exclaims "Bunnyfluff!" which draws sniggers from his co-pilot.
Sit back, get drunk, enjoy!
Should have been good but badly misses the mark
Red-Barracuda14 January 2010
If ever there was a film that can be considered a missed opportunity then that film is Galaxina. What could possibly be wrong in basing a sci-fi film around a sexy statuesque female android? Surely such a film could never be a complete waste of time? Well, sadly this movie is pretty close to useless. There are a number of faults with this production it has to be said, however, there are two basic problems that entirely destroy the whole enterprise. Firstly, this is a comedy with no funny bits at all, or at the very least a film where the potentially amusing aspects are presented in an incredibly unamusing way. Secondly, the title character is woefully underused. This may be because Dorothy Stratten was not really an actress but if so it was a terrible decision as she is still easily the best thing about the film. I don't think she really needed to be a great thespian to pull off the role of a sexy android to be perfectly honest. Anyway, what we are left with is a whole lot of mind-numbing comedy relief, which often is made up of hopeless spoof-type gags of the big sci-fi hits of the time such as Alien, Star Wars and 2001. It's badly written and not funny at all, and it doesn't even really have a plot to propel things along. The story basically is about a police space-cruiser that is sent to get a rock. That's it! Steven Spielberg once said that a high-concept movie was one whose plot line could be described in one sentence. What he didn't define was what you call a movie that can be described in less than a sentence - pointless maybe?
This seemed like a sure-fire winner to me but it failed miserably. It seems to have been an attempt to spoof Star Wars and combine it with adult comedy situations. All it does actually achieve is to leave you cold and a little irritated that it wasn't close to what it should've been. A Barbarella for the 80's this ain't.
Shortly after this film was finished Dorothy Stratten was murdered in an appallingly violent and horrific way. And for that reason Galaxina has derived a considerable amount of it's cult interest. I just think it's a great shame that Dorothy didn't have a better film left to immortalise her.
This seemed like a sure-fire winner to me but it failed miserably. It seems to have been an attempt to spoof Star Wars and combine it with adult comedy situations. All it does actually achieve is to leave you cold and a little irritated that it wasn't close to what it should've been. A Barbarella for the 80's this ain't.
Shortly after this film was finished Dorothy Stratten was murdered in an appallingly violent and horrific way. And for that reason Galaxina has derived a considerable amount of it's cult interest. I just think it's a great shame that Dorothy didn't have a better film left to immortalise her.
How?
fuxpam27 March 2002
How can ANYBODY give this anything higher than a '1'?
I thought "Manos, the Hands of Fate" would forever be the worst movie ever to impinge itself upon my optic nerve. Indeed, I didn't think anything COULD be worse.
I was wrong. "Galaxina" is that rare movie where EVERY SINGLE ELEMENT of it is achingly, agonizingly, blindingly bad. How often have you watched a movie and commented, "Who the hell LIT this thing?" From lighting to soundtrack to effects to script to acting to cinematography to . . . well, EVERYTHING, this movie is absolutely unendurable. It's so bad, I couldn't even tell for some time if it was the worst comedy or the worst drama I'd ever seen.
It's too bad even to be laughable. I'd sooner eat a platefull of broken glass than sit through it again.
I thought "Manos, the Hands of Fate" would forever be the worst movie ever to impinge itself upon my optic nerve. Indeed, I didn't think anything COULD be worse.
I was wrong. "Galaxina" is that rare movie where EVERY SINGLE ELEMENT of it is achingly, agonizingly, blindingly bad. How often have you watched a movie and commented, "Who the hell LIT this thing?" From lighting to soundtrack to effects to script to acting to cinematography to . . . well, EVERYTHING, this movie is absolutely unendurable. It's so bad, I couldn't even tell for some time if it was the worst comedy or the worst drama I'd ever seen.
It's too bad even to be laughable. I'd sooner eat a platefull of broken glass than sit through it again.
It's not that bad
Martin-Zacherl14 November 2004
Come on guys, Galaxina is not that bad. I got it as a present from a friend who knows about my interest in let's say 'not so commercially successful flicks'. A DVD for one pound sterling seemed to qualify for that category. So we watched it together and I have to say I was the only one who admitted loving Galaxina. Okay, it's not the funniest movie ever made; however I made me (and the others) laugh. Not always when it was probably intended...
To put it in a nutshell, I have seen much worse movies, and after all Galaxina isn't taking itself seriously either. It's worth reading about Dorothy Stratten, (Galaxina) and her fate here on IMDb or the web.
So, give it a chance!
Martin
To put it in a nutshell, I have seen much worse movies, and after all Galaxina isn't taking itself seriously either. It's worth reading about Dorothy Stratten, (Galaxina) and her fate here on IMDb or the web.
So, give it a chance!
Martin
Space Babe
iago-610 April 2006
I got this movie when I saw it for $5 at this booth where this guy was selling a lot of old DVDs from Wal-Mart's defunct DVD rental service. I knew nothing about it, but saw the title, that it was the only film role for Playboy Playmate of the Year Dorothy Stratten, and that it was put out by Rhino, so I hauled off and bought it.
It begins with a rip-off of the Star Wars crawl, which they obviously thought needed to be three long paragraphs in order to be a true parody, because it goes on forever without having much to say. What it does is tell you that this ship is traveling along with Galaxina, who is this robot shaped like a Playboy Playmate who manages this ship. Then there is a LONG shot of the expanse of the ship, also like Star Wars, and the credits go on. The credits go on forever, in fact, pausing every now and then to show Galaxina in her glowly chair (a great image, but one we end up seeing a lot of) and the ship flying through space.
What strikes one right away is how straightfaced this all is. The tone is entirely serious and somber, even when the events of the story are ridiculous, which sets it apart from other space comedies like The Ice Pirates, which I just watched, and whose music offers a clue to the wacky tone throughout. Not here.
Anyway, so we're introduced to our crew, including Sarge, who is first seen doing rows and smoking a cigar. He looks a bit like Jackson Browne. There's another, prettier guy, and Captain Corneilius Butt, who is hilariously introduced at the climax of a 2001-like build-up. They hang out for a bit, with Butt torturing a captive alien for a while, before they encounter a Darth Vader-like alien who engages then in a space fight. There they are, deadlocked and waiting for one ship's shields to fail first, and then all of a sudden it's over with no explanation and they just proceed about their business.
Now, Galaxina, who wears a white outfit that can accurately be described as "form-fitting," cannot speak, and touching her (say when you're reaching round to goose her) delivers an electric shock. Then Captain Butt eats a disgusting space egg and burps up an Alien-type creature which escapes into the ship. Then Sarge declares his love for Galaxina, and endures a painful shock just to embrace her for a moment.
They are then ordered to go fetch the Blue Star, every mention of which cues a burst on the soundtrack like upon the utterance of "Frau Bluerheher" in Young Frankenstein. They will have to go into cryosleep for 27 years to get there, and 27 more to get back, which they are justifiably annoyed about. But all is forgiven when they are offered ONE night of rec leave. What does this say about the priorities of the working classes? So they spend one night in a space brothel where they are entertained by a variety of strange female aliens. This sequence is obviously modeled on the cantina sequence from Star Wars, and features makeup that is comparable to that movie. Then into cryosleep. While in cryosleep the little alien comes out and tries to dethaw Captain Butt, but cannot figure out the code and eventually gives up with a whimper.
While the guys are in cryosleep Galaxina, who has fallen in love with Sarge, teaches herself to speak and makes her body warm and soft. Upon thawing him out she offers herself to him, saying that she'll make his every wish her command. Then she is kidnapped by space bikers who are going to sacrifice her to the god "Har Lee David Son," when she is rescued, they get the blue star, the end.
Somewhere in here is a funny commercial that says "Do you have a drinking problem? Then come on down to Happy Hour Spirits! We've got all the booze you need!" So, what of it? It's obviously a highly silly thing (that wears out its welcome after an hourwhy do all movies HAVE to be at least 90 minutes?), but what's strange is that the tone throughout is sort of spacey and somber, which makes all the supposedly funny scenes and wackiness have a strange kind of hypnotic sadness and loneliness. That's the most notable thing about this movie (well, I guess aside from Stratten), but it's not really enough to make watching it worthwhile.
And what of Stratten? She is pretty and has a great body, showcased throughout, but it seems odd for a movie which seems to exist mostly to highlight her and her charms, that she remains fully covered throughout and doesn't really even do much that's outwardly sexy. Huh. Stratten is the subject of Bob Fosse's Star 80, which is now comfortably ensconced in my rental list.
There is an easter egg where you can click on the spaceship in the middle of the menu, leading you to "alien audition footage," which is really three pieces of primitive computer animation. The most convincing explanation is that some guy who worked on the DVD had these student projects in computer animation, and couldn't bear to see them just thrown out.
That's about it. Not really worth seeking out (unless you want to oogle Stratten), but not really painful to sit through. Another one of those strange oddities (and odd it definitely is) that was made for some reason that remains unclear.
-- Hey, check out Cinema de Merde, my website devoted to bad and cheesy movies. You can get the url from my email address above...
It begins with a rip-off of the Star Wars crawl, which they obviously thought needed to be three long paragraphs in order to be a true parody, because it goes on forever without having much to say. What it does is tell you that this ship is traveling along with Galaxina, who is this robot shaped like a Playboy Playmate who manages this ship. Then there is a LONG shot of the expanse of the ship, also like Star Wars, and the credits go on. The credits go on forever, in fact, pausing every now and then to show Galaxina in her glowly chair (a great image, but one we end up seeing a lot of) and the ship flying through space.
What strikes one right away is how straightfaced this all is. The tone is entirely serious and somber, even when the events of the story are ridiculous, which sets it apart from other space comedies like The Ice Pirates, which I just watched, and whose music offers a clue to the wacky tone throughout. Not here.
Anyway, so we're introduced to our crew, including Sarge, who is first seen doing rows and smoking a cigar. He looks a bit like Jackson Browne. There's another, prettier guy, and Captain Corneilius Butt, who is hilariously introduced at the climax of a 2001-like build-up. They hang out for a bit, with Butt torturing a captive alien for a while, before they encounter a Darth Vader-like alien who engages then in a space fight. There they are, deadlocked and waiting for one ship's shields to fail first, and then all of a sudden it's over with no explanation and they just proceed about their business.
Now, Galaxina, who wears a white outfit that can accurately be described as "form-fitting," cannot speak, and touching her (say when you're reaching round to goose her) delivers an electric shock. Then Captain Butt eats a disgusting space egg and burps up an Alien-type creature which escapes into the ship. Then Sarge declares his love for Galaxina, and endures a painful shock just to embrace her for a moment.
They are then ordered to go fetch the Blue Star, every mention of which cues a burst on the soundtrack like upon the utterance of "Frau Bluerheher" in Young Frankenstein. They will have to go into cryosleep for 27 years to get there, and 27 more to get back, which they are justifiably annoyed about. But all is forgiven when they are offered ONE night of rec leave. What does this say about the priorities of the working classes? So they spend one night in a space brothel where they are entertained by a variety of strange female aliens. This sequence is obviously modeled on the cantina sequence from Star Wars, and features makeup that is comparable to that movie. Then into cryosleep. While in cryosleep the little alien comes out and tries to dethaw Captain Butt, but cannot figure out the code and eventually gives up with a whimper.
While the guys are in cryosleep Galaxina, who has fallen in love with Sarge, teaches herself to speak and makes her body warm and soft. Upon thawing him out she offers herself to him, saying that she'll make his every wish her command. Then she is kidnapped by space bikers who are going to sacrifice her to the god "Har Lee David Son," when she is rescued, they get the blue star, the end.
Somewhere in here is a funny commercial that says "Do you have a drinking problem? Then come on down to Happy Hour Spirits! We've got all the booze you need!" So, what of it? It's obviously a highly silly thing (that wears out its welcome after an hourwhy do all movies HAVE to be at least 90 minutes?), but what's strange is that the tone throughout is sort of spacey and somber, which makes all the supposedly funny scenes and wackiness have a strange kind of hypnotic sadness and loneliness. That's the most notable thing about this movie (well, I guess aside from Stratten), but it's not really enough to make watching it worthwhile.
And what of Stratten? She is pretty and has a great body, showcased throughout, but it seems odd for a movie which seems to exist mostly to highlight her and her charms, that she remains fully covered throughout and doesn't really even do much that's outwardly sexy. Huh. Stratten is the subject of Bob Fosse's Star 80, which is now comfortably ensconced in my rental list.
There is an easter egg where you can click on the spaceship in the middle of the menu, leading you to "alien audition footage," which is really three pieces of primitive computer animation. The most convincing explanation is that some guy who worked on the DVD had these student projects in computer animation, and couldn't bear to see them just thrown out.
That's about it. Not really worth seeking out (unless you want to oogle Stratten), but not really painful to sit through. Another one of those strange oddities (and odd it definitely is) that was made for some reason that remains unclear.
-- Hey, check out Cinema de Merde, my website devoted to bad and cheesy movies. You can get the url from my email address above...
May the farce be with you.
BA_Harrison30 March 2013
Poor old Dorothy Stratten: not only was her life tragically cut short when her homicidal husband took it upon himself to unload a shotgun into her face, but of the few titles on her filmography, crappy comedy/sci-fi Galaxina will forever be the one she will be best remembered for.
In this excruciatingly bad pulp sci-fi spoof, inspired by the likes of Star Wars and Star Trek, Stratten plays Galaxina, a robot aboard police space cruiser Infinity who falls in love with Sgt. Thor (Stephen Macht), a member of the crew. Writer/director William Sachs has the potential for a really interesting movie, but is more intent on delivering puerile gags and trashy action than exploring the complexities of his central human/machine relationship.
In addition to the embarrassingly bad comedy (some gags repeated ad nauseum), the pacing of the film is absolutely dreadful, the acting is lousy and the special effects are terrible, with naff spaceship designs and thoroughly unconvincing rubber alien creatures. Thankfully, Stratten's hotness helps to ease the pain somewhat, the gorgeous Penthouse Playmate looking absolutely stunning in her tight outfits, but not even her magnificent form can prevent this from being a disastrous dud.
In this excruciatingly bad pulp sci-fi spoof, inspired by the likes of Star Wars and Star Trek, Stratten plays Galaxina, a robot aboard police space cruiser Infinity who falls in love with Sgt. Thor (Stephen Macht), a member of the crew. Writer/director William Sachs has the potential for a really interesting movie, but is more intent on delivering puerile gags and trashy action than exploring the complexities of his central human/machine relationship.
In addition to the embarrassingly bad comedy (some gags repeated ad nauseum), the pacing of the film is absolutely dreadful, the acting is lousy and the special effects are terrible, with naff spaceship designs and thoroughly unconvincing rubber alien creatures. Thankfully, Stratten's hotness helps to ease the pain somewhat, the gorgeous Penthouse Playmate looking absolutely stunning in her tight outfits, but not even her magnificent form can prevent this from being a disastrous dud.
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