Episode list

Mary and Pat cut up Tom's credit cards. Montgomery Monk uses a Ho-Ho to reprogram George. Merle feels that Wanda is spending more time on public life than married life. Garth admits to Charlie that his father was a wife beater. In her Lulu personality at Lou's diner, Loretta flirts with Mac and doesn't recognize a snapshot of Charlie.

Monk reaches a breakthrough with reprogramming George. Sikanda teaches Martha the Boga Zidi way. Mae Olinski visits Tom and Mary and reveals that she's behind the sexy skywriting over Fernwood. Christine experiences sympathy pains for Cathy. Garth and Tom discuss forgiving husbands. Pat confesses to Mary that she fantasizes killing Garth.

Mae informs Mary that she's writing a book about sexual satisfaction using the women of Fernwood for her research. The Shumways dish the family dirt to a recovered George. Tom rejects Mary's suggestion that he get his old assembly job back. Mary visits Brian and says she'll resort to blackmail to ensure Tom's return to the plant. Loretta as Lulu accepts Lou's offer to be his new waitress in the diner.

Charlie and Mary visit a recovered George who's distressed over all the crazy complications that ensued while he was brainwashed. A police officer gives Martha notice to vacate the Shumway house which is in foreclosure. Mary and Cathy argue grammar. Brian and Christine visit the scene of their baby's upcoming birth. Heather and Little Garth talk about making out.

Tom is disheartened when Jess, the manager of the Capri Lounge, won't hire him as the daytime bartender because he's over-qualified. Mary reminds Brian that she'll blackmail him if she has to, so Brian arranges an interview for Tom at the plant. Mae asks Wanda to endorse her sexual research in Fernwood. Charlie becomes frantic when he learns that Loretta didn't show up at her hotel in Dayton. Garth persuades Pat to return home. While Lt. Trask questions Mary about Loretta's disappearance, Cathy and Christine arrive and announce they're in labor.

Martha's new pet sitting service terrifies George after he finds a monkey and a tarantula in his kitchen. Complications arise when lawyer Darcy Pinker demands Cathy sign a contract before giving birth, and Dr. Fermin phones to say he can't attend the delivery. Tom convinces Charlie to seek help from Merle to find Loretta. Loretta sweet talks money out of Lou then flirts with Mac. A state trooper stops by the diner looking for Loretta, but Lou claims he hasn't seen her.

Merle vetoes Charlie and Tom's request that he intercede in the police search for Loretta. The experience of natural childbirth becomes more intense for Cathy and Christine. Merle meets Mae but rejects her research theory that the "normal way" leaves women in the cold. After Merle dismisses them, Wanda offers to help Mae's cause by arranging a meeting with reporter Harold Clemens. Darcy finally gets the signature he wants on the Addams contract. Tom and Mary wonder if they were once happy before. A birth and a death occur simultaneously in Mary's kitchen.

Heather and Little Garth trade embarrassing secrets, and Mary catches them kissing over the kitchen table where Cathy gave birth. Harold Clemens misses the point in his interview with Mae and Wanda who want the world to know that foreplay is fairplay. Merle asks Mary to be the spokesperson for his Jump for Fitness campaign and watches with delight as she jumps rope in the kitchen. Violence is on the supper menu at the Gimble home.

After admitting his own childhood abuse, Garth confines Pat to a closet. George barges into the Addams house and threatens to tell Mr. Addams the truth about Cathy's baby unless Brian tells him first. Tom agrees to return to the plant, and Mary has a special gift to mark the occasion. Loretta urges Lou to sell the diner and take her where the action is.

Harold Clemens interviews Mary about the Olinski report, but she's more interested in gardening with garbage. Merle and Wanda disagree about her endorsement of Mae's research. Disgusted by Clemens' newspaper article, the men at the plant vow to organize a plan to win the battle of the sexes. Mac proposes marriage to Loretta. The Shumways discuss finances and the Olinski report. An excited Charlie shouts that Loretta has been found.

At the hospital, Charlie identifies the completely bandaged accident victim as Loretta when Dr. Osgood shows him Loretta's purse, which was found on the victim. Tom urges Mary not to intervene when Little Garth runs over and tells the Hartmans that Garth is knocking Pat down. Brian gives Cathy a check for $10,000 and a second to see her son. Mary suggests she and Pat explore the Women's Collective of Greater Fernwood, an organization helping battered wives. Mac tells Charlie about Lulu, but Charlie thinks she can't beat his Loretta. At the Capri, Mae finds the men from the plant drinking after work, and she attempts to make them understand her point of view, but battle lines are drawn.

Mary and Pat visit Rabbi Weintraub who agrees Pat should leave Garth...until he learns about Little Garth. Loretta tells Lou that she won't marry Mac if Lou makes her a better offer. Pat stops by Lou's Diner asking for directions back to Fernwood, but she manages to miss seeing Loretta. Mary asks Merle to help her save the Shumway home from foreclosure, and the their talk takes a very unexpected turn. Mae suspects revenge when Tom's commission for community standards orders a raid on Mae's room at the Bide-a-Wee Motel.

Mary solicits Grandpa Larkin's opinion in her argument with Tom about finding new ways to have sex. Tom denies Mae's accusation that he ordered her research work to be impounded by the police. Charlie and Martha pray over the bandaged accident victim, and think they receive a sign from God. Helen Dinsmore from BAD (Battered, Angry, and Determined)advises Pat that her home is a death trap she needs to leave at once. Just as George decides to accept Cathy's money, Cathy reveals she tore up Brian's check.

Tom confides to Charlie that he hates his job at the plant more than he thought, and Charlie encourages to relax at Lou's Diner up in Dayton. Clete shows up with his TV cameras when the Shumways barricade themselves in the house as the police arrive to evict them. Before Lt. Trask can order the force to storm the house, Merle saves the day with an eleventh hour solution. Wanda chastises Merle for the raid on Mae, and takes her feminist appeal to TV by suggesting a boycott of the bedroom. Mac and Loretta debate the Olinski Report.

Charlie is helpless to stop Tom from drinking. Garth tells Pat he wants her dead and doesn't care that he'll fry for it. Mary visits the bandaged accident victim and finds Martha working as a hospital "Gray Lady". Loretta promises Mac she's stringing Lou along but Lou gets angry when a diner patron points out that Loretta doesn't want him. While Loretta and Mac are making out in Mac's truck, a drunken Tom arrives at the diner and passes out. Lou puts an unconscious Tom in Loretta's bed. Pat gives Garth a taste of his own medicine, and it's fatal.

At the hospital, Martha and Grandpa Larkin meet Barbie, a fellow "Gray Lady". Mary tells Charlie about her visit with "Loretta" who Mary thinks will soon come out of her coma, and Charlie urges Mary no to worry about Tom's tardiness. Heather and Little Garth arrive and tell Mary about the terrible fight between Pat and Garth. Mary rushes over to the Gimble house and discover the police who arrest Pat for first degree murder. Mae confronts Merle and Wanda insisting she didn't a war between the sexes. Merle instructs the police to arrest everyone at Mae's town meeting tomorrow night. At Lou's Diner, Texas teases hungover Tom about his night with Lulu, and Tom does a double-take when Lulu/Loretta breezes past him.

Charlie wills the bandaged accident victim out of her coma, though he's dismayed when she scribbles a note telling him that she doesn't know who he is. Mary receives a call from Tom who won't explain why he didn't come home. Mae asks Mary to be an usher at the town meeting. Tom comes home and reveals he went on a drunken bender but neglects to mention he might have slept with Lulu/Loretta. Mac forces Loretta to answer his marriage proposal. Before Loretta rips up the photo she carries in her pocket, Mac recognizes him as Charlie Haggers. Attorney Nat Dearborn urges Pat to cop a plea in Garth's death since a jury will find stabbing-by-Christmas-tree an indecent act.

After Tom confesses to Charlie about possibly sleeping with Lulu, Mac reveals to Tom that Lulu turned up about three weeks ago carrying Charlie's photo. Merle gives Mary a toy wind-up chicken, while Heather and Little Garth wonder how to spell contraceptive. Tom goes to Lou's Diner, meets Lulu, and tries to make her remember her life as Loretta. Merle has Mae's town meeting raided, and she's arrested.

Mary admits to Nat Dearborn that Pat once mentioned wanting to kill Garth. Tom questions Charlie about his confidence that the bandaged accident victim is actually Loretta. Mac invites the guys at the plant to his wedding to Lulu. Mae grouses that Wanda is only interested in using the Olinski report to further her own political career. Clete performs a live TV interview with Mae from her jail cell. Mae explains her position and reveals that she's leaving Fernwood forever, but not before saying something that's never been said on television before.

Charlie questions Tom about his fooling around in Lou's Diner. Mary visits the men at the plant. Merle returns Mae's pornographic research when she's released from jail to leave Fernwood. Charlie attempts to subtly warn Mary about Tom's behavior, prompting Mary to go to the diner in Dayton. Tom tells Loretta that she's Charlie's wife, but she becomes angry and rejects everything he says. After Loretta reassures him that they didn't sleep together, Tom embraces her, but Mary arrives and leaves upset after spotting him in the arms of another woman.

Charlie fights Dr. Osgood's plan to have "Loretta's" life support turned off, but it's rendered moot when the bandaged patient dies. Pat meets her new cell mate Cookie LaRue, who is arrested while passing through Fernwood. Mary avoids Tom in preparation for leaving him over his affair with the woman in Lou's Diner. Tom explains to Mary that Loretta is the woman he was embracing, and she has amnesia. Meanwhile Loretta's wedding ceremony to Mac is commencing in Dayton. Just as Charlie begins to accept Loretta's death, Tom tells him that Loretta is alive and getting married in Lou's Diner.

Mary arrives at Lou's Diner in the middle of Loretta's marriage to Mac. Lou speaks now rather than forever holding his peace. A brawl erupts and ends with Loretta getting hit over the head and regaining her memory. Nat Dearborn agrees with Cookie that Pat's choices are either the death penalty or life in prison. Cookie urges Pat to join her in a prison break. Merle warns Wanda that if she doesn't satisfy his urges, he'll stray. Wanda introduces Merle to Lila, the new housekeeper, and Merle offers to join her in the linen closet. Loretta says a very sweet goodbye to her admirers in the diner.

Loretta and Charlie are reunited in Mary's kitchen, but Charlie's doubt over what Loretta did as Lulu creates tension in their marriage. Grandpa Larkin plays checkers alone, while Tom hustles to get his family's finances back on track. Reverend Buryfield officiates at Garth's funeral, where Charlie and Loretta realize they're being petty, and Merle presses Mary for a closer relationship.

Merle plays a new fetish with Mary, hand puppets called Little Merle and Little Mary. George visits Martha at the hospital and has a conversation with a corpse. Mary confesses to Tom that she's been hired as a ticket taker at the Bijou theatre, but reassures him that he's still the head breadwinner. Leaving Fernwood for a new life in Chicago, Mae stops by the Hartman home to say goodbye. Mary's job at the Bijou comes to an abrupt conclusion when she's robbed at gunpoint.

Hired by the Fernwood jail, Mary gets on the matron's bad side by fraternizing with Pat. Wanda is non-plussed to catch Merle and Lila getting passionate on the sofa, and Merle is appalled that Wanda hired Lila to satisfy both of their needs. Cathy and Martha explain to Harold Clemens that they plan to make extra money by giving tours at the Shumway house, which has been designated an historical landmark. Pat is tormented by a nightmare in which Garth taunts her while she awaits death in the electric chair. Cookie strongly urges Pat to join her in breaking out of jail.

Grandpa and Barbie learn a lesson of their own while lecturing Heather and Little Garth about keeping their relationship a secret from parents. George bristles as Cathy and Martha prepare to make a tourist center of the Shumway home where visitors can see the famous Marquette Rock in their yard. Tom attempts to comfort Mary who cries in the night for no apparent reason, but he makes a statement he may later regret. Cookie forces Pat to break out of jail with her.

George loses his temper when a group of tourists invade his kitchen. Harold Clemens introduces his friend Howie Freeze to the Shumways. Mary interviews with Vernon Bales at the auto plant and gets the job. Charlie is surprised at Loretta's new role as the perfect housewife. Pat wants to turn herself in to the cops, but Cookie blackmails her into staying on the lam.

George is incensed when he discovers that Grandpa Larkin and Barbie had illicit sex in his house. Heather and Cathy have a candid chat about sex. Mary reveals to Tom that she's been hired to work on the assembly line. Vernon assigns Mary to work between Texas and Tiny, and Mary instantly causes problems on the line by depressing Tiny. Cookie forces Pat to help her hold up the Capri Lounge, but Pat only manages to steal a jar of maraschino cherries, buttered popcorn, and free drink tokens.

Charlie and Mac clear the air about what Loretta and Mac didn't do while she had amnesia. Howie asks Cathy out to dinner, and after a crazed George destroys the Marquette Rock, she agrees. Mary stops by the Capri for a very uncomfortable after-work drink with the guys from the plant. Heather teases her hair, wears too much makeup, and talks back Mary and Tom. Tom blames Mary for Heather's behavior and isn't happy with their role reversal when he's forced to cook while she's out drinking with the boys.

Mary is angry when Cathy admits that Heather went out on a date. Pat reaches out to Mary for help. Heather and Little Garth slip into the Gimble home and sleep together. Lila defends Wanda to Merle, and proclaims she's saving her kisses for the right man. When he comes on very strong, Cathy insists that Howie court her with picnics and miniature golf. Mary tells Pat that Little Garth is cured of bed-wetting, and the fugitives meet gypsies Zorrina and Godza in the woods outside Fernwood.

Heather and Little Garth awaken in the Gimble home and feel good after not doing anything but sleeping. Tom and the police berate Mary for being a working mother with a missing daughter. When Heather comes home, Tom lays down the law, but Mary goes to work. Loretta feels awkward, and awkwardness spreads with Mac's arrival. Mary rails against Cathy for influencing Heather, and the Shumways all take sides in the fight between sisters. Merle pours out his heart to Wanda but is shocked to find Lila in their marriage bed.

Wanda explains to a disgusted Merle how Lila provides something that he doesn't, but when Merle suggests it's grounds for divorce, Wanda retires to the bedroom with him, leaving Lila alone on the living room sofa. Loretta orders Charlie's favorite pizza and puts on her shortest nightie, but Charlie rejects her in favor of a night out with Mac. A real estate agent tells Mary that he's been given approval by Pat's mother Mrs. Welch to sell the Gimble home. Mary invites Texas, Tiny, and Vernon over for a game of poker, and the evening turns into a total disaster when she spills employee secrets to Vernon.

Tom warns Mary that there's gossip at the plant about resentment brewing against Mary, who's trying too hard to break with traditions. At the plant, Texas is annoyed when Mary stops the conveyor belt to have coffee cake and a chat. Two cops visit the plant and grill Mary for information about Pat, who's still a fugitive. Merle's attempts to get close to Wanda are thwarted by Lila's presence. Merle intimidates Wanda into having sex with him.

Under orders from Mrs. Welch, Colonel Fleck arrives from the military academy to escort Little Garth back to school, which upsets Heather. The war between Mary and Cathy results in more casualties when it leads Martha and George into the mother of all married fights. Merle visits Mary and requests a very personal item of hers to help him get back his "force". Cops descend on the gypsy camp and arrest Cookie, but she remains a true friend to Pat. Zorrina feels that Pat is the son she no longer has, and Pat declares Zorrina the mother she never had.

Due to Martha and George fighting, Cathy convinces Howie that he should let her and Baby live with him in a platonic way while he romances her. Lila declares her love for Wanda and decides it would be better if Merle were out of the way. Loretta feels like a third wheel at the Capri when Charlie and Mac discuss Paul Newman and weekends in the wilderness. Mary receives an urgent phone call from Merle, who's deathly ill. Mary finds Merle unconscious and mistakenly believes that he's attempting suicide.

No one believes that Merle didn't try to commit suicide, and Clete shows up in the hospital to interview him. Mary attempts to get all the men in the plant to sign a petition for more pleasant working conditions. Catholic nuns arrive to escort Heather to their convent after receiving a letter from Mary, forged by Heather, requesting that she be taken in as a novitiate. Mary smuggles food to the gypsies who convince Pat to leave Fernwood with them.

After Wanda brings Merle home from the hospital, Lila blackmails her into not sleeping with him, insinuating that she could reveal their affair to voters. Later, Lila slips poison into Merle's vitamin capsules. Vernon visits Mary on the assembly line and after she insists the petition was solely her idea, he throws it in the trash can. Texas privately asks Vernon when their secret meetings will begin again. Charlie and Mac continue to bond at the Capri. Vernon holds a mysterious meeting of the Twilight Teachers of Truth, a white supremacist type organization. Disturbed by a lack of members in Fernwood, they decide to change their name to the Glorious Guardians of Good with Tom and Mary as their new image of all that's good and decent in middle-class America.

Vernon and the newly formed Glorious Guardians of Good (GGG) decide to change their outward appearance while keeping hate in their heart. Howie encourages Cathy and Mary to reconcile at the Capri, where Merle collapses again in agonizing pain. Lila adds more poison to Merle's pills. Raymond and Barbie agree to sow their wild oats before settling down together, but being macho is taking its toll on him. While making love on the kitchen floor, Tom and Mary spot a Peeping Tom through the doggy door. Mary is stunned at the identity of the peeper, who confesses that he saw Garth beating Pat and witnessed the accident that led to Garth's death.

Tom and Mary force the peeper to confess to Nat Dearborn that Pat was abused and Garth's death was accidental. After Wanda's confession that she kissed Merle and declaration that their situation is changing, Lila promises that she always gets what she wants. Pat prepares to leave Fernwood with Zorrina and Godza. During a drinking game with Charlie and Mac, Loretta admits that she's jealous of their friendship. Mary arrives at the gypsy camp with news that Pat is being cleared of murder charges, but Pat still has to decide whether to stay with her old life or leave for a new one.

Charlie reassures Loretta that it's just the two of them, but Mac interrupts with breakfast and a declaration that they're one big, happy family. Texas and Tiny give Mary the unwritten rules of assembly workers, and she breaks them. Howie reveals to Martha that he's an investigative reporter working on a story about underground groups. Mary pays a very crowded visit to Merle, Wanda, and Lila. Baby disappears while Cathy washes clothes at the launderette.

Mary and Martha argue about Cathy who arrives with news that she lost Baby. At the gypsy camp, Zorinna shows Godza the infant she snatched while tumble drying her babushkas at the laundromat. The Shumways lament their losses. Heather spies on Tom and Mary making out. Lila hides in the armoire in Merle and Wanda's bedroom and becomes enraged when the couple begin to make love. When Merle asks for one good reason why he shouldn't kick Lila out, Wanda soberly reminds him that she could destroy their lives.

Officer Malloy from the Fernwood police department questions Mary about Baby's disappearance. Howie unsuccessfully attempts to comfort Cathy. Vernon promises Texas that there are many unhappy families in Fernwood, and the GGG will happily give them a scapegoat for their anger. At Pat's disastrous welcome home party, Vernon surveys all the despondent guests intently.

At the plant, Mary and the men debate whether noxious fumes are a safety or grievance issue. Vernon invites Tom for an after-work drink to get to know one another better. Howie tries to interview an elusive Merle. Lila attempts to sabotage Merle and reminds him to take his pill, which she poisoned. Before leaving Fernwood forever, Pat shares a very heartfelt goodbye with Mary.

Grandpa Larkin asks Barbie to live with him. Vernon offers Tom and Charlie free lifetime memberships to the GGG. Howie tells Cathy that he's stuck in boring Fernwood and wants to track down the TTT. Loretta helps Mary write a song for the disgruntled workers, while Martha's one of the miserable housewives of America. George forbids Barbie from moving in but changes his tune when he realizes he needs Grandpa Larkin's social security check to help with the rent. At Wanda's dinner party for the Hartmans, Lila poisons a piece of pie for Merle, but Mary gets it mixed up and served to the wrong victim.

Mary and George convince Jess Davis to hire a depressed Martha as a part time bartender at the Capri. Cathy and Mary discover Martha's secret life as a thief. Wanda calls Lila's blackmail bluff, but Lila has a trump card: Wanda's personal diary. Vernon and Texas initiate Tom, Charlie, and Mac into the GGG.

Vernon tells Texas that they'll exclude George from the GGG until he's so left out that he'll come scratching at their door to be let in. Mary informs the family about Martha's kleptomania, a result of all her recent losses. Howie sleepwalks in frustration over thinking that the secret society he's investigating is in Austin. Lila demands that Merle convince the coroner to not perform an autopsy on Chief Nigel Quinlan, and after Wanda warns him that Lila's in possession of a personal diary, Merle's forced to comply.

Texas angers Vernon by bringing a stick of dynamite to the plant as part of a scheme to blow up a TV station because it aired Roots. Loretta and Mary decide to match make Mac and Lila to get Mac away from Charlie. Mary confides in George about Martha's problem. Lila meets Mac at the Capri and is disinterested, but Texas catches her eye. Wanda and Merle are stunned when they find that Lila has moved into their apartment.

Depressed over not being invited to the party at Mary's, George wanders Fernwood, seeking company from Grandpa Larkin and Barbie, Martha, Merle, and Cathy. Martha steals a lighter from a customer at the Capri and gives him $5 from the cash register. Wanda suggests that Lila get someone of her own, but Lila expects one to be a Jeeter. Tex passes out pink muumuus instead of robes as the official wardrobe of the GGG. George stops by Mary's kitchen and finds himself initiated into the GGG.

Vernon wants Mary to solicit Merle about the GGG, and Texas still has ideas about the TV station that showed Roots. Mary grimaces when George and Vernon talk guns. Howie is introduced to Vernon who warns him about the dangers of investigating secret societies. While the family keeps watch on Martha at the Capri, the wallet of a customer disappears. A rock bearing a threatening note smashes through Howie and Cathy's window. At the plant, Texas places a time bomb into a cardboard box.

Loretta offends Cathy while attempting to fix her up with Mac. Mac tells Loretta that he wants no part of a new romance since he's happy with her and Charlie. Texas presses Vernon about the TV station scheme. Tom reacts angrily when he finds Mary playing with Merle's toys and she tries to describe the nature of their childish relationship. Merle finds Lila entertaining Texas, and throws him out. Vernon offers to solve Mary's grievance about noxious fumes on the assembly line but secretly plans to do nothing. Texas loses his box on the conveyor belt, and the bomb detonates by Mary, George, and Tiny.