Attenti... arrivano le collegiali! (1975) Poster

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Italian sex comedy that is not at all funny but pretty sexy
lazarillo2 March 2010
This seems to be another of the endless series of 70's "scholastic" Italian sex comedies typified by the "insegnante" series, where Edwige Fenech or one of the other more voluptuous European actresses played a sexy teacher, and the "liceale" series, where Gloria Guida or one of the other more nubile Italian actresses played a sexy schoolgirl. However, this film also seems to be somewhat inspired by the then-popular German "schulmadchen-report" films in that has much more of an ensemble female cast rather than being a showcase for a Fenech or a Guida. (It's also missing the two ubiquitous 70's male sex comedy buffoons, Lino Banfi and Alvaro Vitali, but that might not entirely be a bad thing).

The narrator is a young female diarist who relates a trip she and her sexy classmates take to a beach resort owned by the father () of one of the girls. The father lives in a fantasy world where he's an intrepid sea captain. He has also a ridiculously horny bell-hop/handyman who tries to fix the shower while one of the girls is in it or cross-dresses in order to spy on the female guests. (These would have been the standard roles for Lino Banfi and Alvaro Vitali respectively). There's also a cook who looks exactly like an Italian Ron Jeremy (but even more over-weight); thankfully though, he does get involved in any of the sexual activity. The girls have also brought along, as a chaperon, their "ugly" teacher, who when she changes out of her clothes into a bikini that's several sizes too small, turns out to be the voluptuously sexy Italian actress Orchidea DeSantis. The sexy teacher does get involved in A LOT of sexual activity, while her young charges are off having various sexy "schulmadchen report"- style adventures of their own.

As a comedy, this is pretty much a failure. The male actors are not quite as annoying as Banfi but Vitali, but they're also not as funny as that pair can occasionally be. The bigger problem though is the level of humor, which involves such unfunny antics as the girls giving an overweight classmate strong laxatives and telling her they're birth-control pills. As a sexy film though this is somewhat more successful. Orchidea DeSantis is very different from the typical actress today in that she was naturally voluptuous rather than some mutant-looking anorexic type with big fake breasts (her big breasts are completely real). Her unusual face could conceivably be called "ugly", but to me that only made her more sexy (she was kind of a B-movie Italian version of Ellen Barkin). And, believe it or not, this is one of the few of these movies that has both a sexy teacher AND sexy female students. The English-language title "Here Come the College Girls" may more appropriately be translated as "Here Come the High School Girls" (in America English), but regardless these girls, while slender and nubile, look to be around twenty and won't make male viewers feel (too much) like dirty old men as they salivate like Pavlov's dogs. I'd recommend this if you like these kind of films.
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