Plot

Sidney Fiddler organizes a beauty contest for a seaside town, but faces opposition from Councillor Prodworthy, who leads a women's liberation group aiming to sabotage the competition through disruption tactics.

The British seaside town of Fircombe is facing the issue of lack of tourists despite a promotional campaign overseen by town council. A large problem is the excessive rainfall and the lack of things to do inside. Arcade operator and town councilor Sid Fidler, partly for his own lascivious purposes, comes up with the idea that they should hold a beauty pageant to attract tourists, much like most of the British resort towns do. Fellow councilor Augusta Proudworthy, a staunch feminist, is vehemently against. Mayor Frederick Bumble is ineffective as such in only blowing in the direction of his political fortunes and putting himself in public view primarily for highly visible ceremonial functions. With Augusta absent, Sid is able not only to put his motion forward but to have it pass by council. He hires frequent collaborator Peter Potter to handle publicity, and he plans to house the contestants and hold many of the functions at the Palace Hotel solely because he can get everything for free from his girlfriend manager Connie Philpotts in exchange for all the free publicity she will be getting, Connie not quite as naive about this matter than Sid would have hoped, although the possibility of becoming Mrs. Fidler may sway her thoughts. With the help of savvy contestant Hope Springs (her stage name), Sid and a sometimes unwilling Peter proceed on the notion that any publicity is good publicity. Affecting what happens is the arrival of Peter's Plain Jane fiancée Paula Perkins, who just found out about this job and doesn't like that Peter held it from her (he doing so in that he would be surrounded by beautiful women), and Augusta and her fellow feminists' sly maneuverings to ruin the pageant.—Huggo

Local councilor Sidney Fidler persuades the Mayor to help improve the image of their rundown seaside town by holding a beauty contest. But formidable Councillor Prodworthy, head of the local women's liberation movement, has other ideas. It's open warfare as the women's lib attempt to sabotage the contest.—Simon N. McIntosh-Smith <Simon.N.Smith@cs.cf.ac.uk>

The seaside town of Fircombe is facing a crisis - it's always raining and there's nothing for the tourists to do. The town is deserted and there is no income for local businesses.

The town council meets to discuss options to attract more visitors to the town. Augusta is of the opinion that the town provide ample entertainment for visitors as it is. Fiddler argues that people will only come to town if there is something for them to do. The only indoor entertainment in town is an amusement arcade, owned by Sidney, and hosting a bunch of video game machines.

Councilor Sidney Fiddler (Sid James) hits on the notion of holding a beauty contest. The mayor, Frederick Bumble (Kenneth Connor) is taken with the idea but feminist councilor, Augusta Prodworthy (June Whitfield) is outraged and storms out of the meeting. Augusta argues that there is nothing dignified about half naked women being shown off like cattle for the sexual gratification of a lot of drooling men.

The motion is carried in Augusta's absence and Sidney contacts publicist Peter Potter (Bernard Bresslaw) to help with the organization of the contest. Peter is engaged to Paula (Valerie Leon) who is immensely protective of Peter & is angry to find that Peter is going to Fircombe to organize the publicity for its beauty contest. Paula also dislikes Sidney as Sidney and Peter have worked together before. Paula is the jealous type, and Peter is afraid that Paula will react negatively to him working with a lot of young girls. Peter tells Paula that the assignment is about putting Fircombe on the map by writing about its trade figures. Sidney pays Peter 100 pounds for the job, as it is paid by the council.

At the train station, Paula finds that the train is being boarded by many buxom women, all going to Fircombe for the beauty contest. Paula is livid with Peter, but he hastily gets on the train to avoid her.

Sidney's girlfriend, Connie Philpotts (Joan Sims) runs a local hotel and soon her residents, including the eccentric Mrs Dukes (Joan Hickson) and the Admiral (Peter Butterworth) are outnumbered by dolly birds, including the feuding biker babe, Hope Springs (Barbara Windsor) and the bountiful Dawn Brakes (Margaret Nolan). Hope & Dawn are rivals, and Hope maintains that last year Dawn stooped to stealing Hope's silver bikini to prevent her from participating in the contest. Hope has hated Dawn since then.

Sidney as Connie not to charge the dozen odd contestants for the beauty contest, as they are the bait that would bring in more paying customers. Sidney also promises to be the full-time chaperon for the girls, enraging Connie.

Prodworthy attends the public inauguration of a gentleman's club by the mayor and is livid that the club could not have been made accessible for both male and females. She paints the mayor as oblivious to the concerns of the female sex. Admiral cannot stop pinching the bottom of the girls but meets his match in Hope when she starts pinching his in return.

A cat-fight orchestrated by Hope provides better newspaper copy than bringing a donkey off the beach (Peter got the donkey as he wanted to play on theme of 'Beauty and the Beast" for the promotional photo shoot) which, despite the bucket and spade of hotel employee William (Jack Douglas), ruins the plush carpets. As the girls line up for the shoot, Hope sees that Dawn is wearing the same silver bikini that Dawn stole from her the previous year. Hope manages to get the top off Dawn, but the crowd controls her before she can force the bottoms off. This is when the Mayor arrives.

Connie is angry that the half-naked beauty contestants are driving away her regular permanent customers. Augusta's son, press photographer Larry (Robin Askwith), is hired to document the donkey stunt and snaps the cat-fight that has the Mayor losing his trousers, then gulps his way through a nude photo shoot with Dawn. Prodworthy is determined to be elected as the next Mayor of Fircombe and marshals her troops to sabotage the contest. She plasters the Mayor's photo with his trousers down, all over the town to bring attention to the decadence being promoted by the contest. The Mayor is angry & even insults his wife Mildred.

The Mayor's wife, Mildred (Patsy Rowlands) joins Prodworthy's bra-burning movement and plots the downfall of the Miss Fircombe contest on the pier. Peter Potter reluctantly becomes a man in a frock for another publicity gimmick for the television show, Women's Things, presented by Cecil Gaybody (Jimmy Logan) and produced by Debra (Sally Geeson). The idea is to deliberately cause a scandal by showing that a man disguised as a woman to enter the contest. This idea comes from Hope. Sidney then gets the news to Prodworthy that one of the contests is a male.

Meanwhile Paula has seen pictures of Peter sitting on a donkey, surrounded by half naked females & rushes to Fircombe. Prodworthy and butch feminist Rosemary (Patricia Franklin) call in the police (David Lodge and Billy Cornelius) to investigate the male pageant contestant. Sidney makes all the girls strip, thereby exposing Peter. Peter runs to his room, only to find Paula waiting for him. He is rescued by Hope who takes him into her room and pretends they are making out. The police are convinced that Peter is not the man who disguised as a woman & leave. But Paula sees Peter & Hope kissing & is even more angry.

As the scandal hits the papers, the hotel bookings go through the roof. Hope sits with Paula & explains that Peter is innocent. Paula decides to enter the beauty contest herself. Sidney sells the TV rights to the final event for 5000 pounds.

Prodworthy's gang put "Operation Spoilsport" into action, sabotaging the final contest with water, mud, and itching powder. With an angry mob after his blood, Sidney makes his escape with Hope on her motorcycle, after he finds that Connie has run away with all the ticket proceeds to pay for the damages to her hotel.