James Caan: Brian Piccolo

Brian's Song

Brian Piccolo

Brian Piccolo: Well, on uh, Fake Draw Screen Right I uh, pick up the linebacker if he's comin, 'less of course it's Butkus, then I simply notify the quarterback to send for a priest.

Brian Piccolo: Hey, Black Magic, listen to this letter I got. "You must have been raised with pigs to stay in the same room with one of those darkies. You must not have been taught *anything* when you were a boy. You must have crawled out from under some slimy rock."
Gale Sayers: Is that all?
Brian Piccolo: Except the usual, "Love, Mother."

Brian Piccolo: Did you get a chance to talk to Linda today?
Gale Sayers: No, why?
Brian Piccolo: Well, I thought you might have heard. Joy's expecting again.
Gale Sayers: Hey, THAT'S GREAT!
Brian Piccolo: Yeah, we think so. You know, if it's a boy, we'd kind of like to name it after you!
Gale Sayers: NO KIDDING?
Brian Piccolo: Yeah! It's got a real nice ring to it... SPADE PICCOLO!

Gale Sayers: Sorry, I didn't remember. I'm not very good at that stuff.
Brian Piccolo: Oh, golly. Hey, that's alright. I could see how you might forget, but, I sure couldn't. I mean, that was a heck of a talk we had, man. I said, "I'm Brian Piccolo. I - I hear we'll both be playin' for the Bears." And you said, well, I'll never forget it, you said, "Uh-huh." Just like that, "Uh-huh." Whenever I'm feelin' kinda low and depressed, well, well I think about that advice. You know, a lot of guys wounldn't have talked to me at all; but, not you. You just said, "Uh-huh." Just like that. Right out.
Gale Sayers: Uh-huh.

Brian Piccolo: Sayers, I did say thank you.
Gale Sayers: I know.
Brian Piccolo: Well, that usually calls for a response, like "you're welcome" or "how's your mother?" Somethin'.
Gale Sayers: [puzzled] How's your mother?
Brian Piccolo: Well, She's very fine. Thank you for askin'.
Gale Sayers: You're welcome.

Brian Piccolo: It's all so pointless, Gale. I mean, I know perfectly well what's wrong with me. Gale, I uh... I think I'm pregnant.

Brian Piccolo: A trap play is when all the linemen go one way and, hopefully, the defense goes the same way and if they do, see, it's a big hole and if they don't, well, it's bad news. Anyway, Concannon calls this trap play, and it's beautiful - forty-three yards, wasn't it 43? Ah. So, Halas sees he's tired, and sends me in, so I go in and he comes out. Concannon then figures he's gonna get really foxy - you know, Concannon is - Then, he says, "Same play. Very - same - play." A trap play is also called, a sucker play; because, it makes the defense look *real* bad when it works. Now, defenses *do not* like to look real bad, see, it makes 'em kinda surly. So, anyway, all the linemen go this way, and it's like I am lookin' at a team portrait of the Los Angeles Rams. "Hey, Deacon! Merlin! How's the family, Rosey?" I was afraid to get up - I figured not everything was gonna come with me.
Joy Piccolo: You have never seen anyone so black and blue in your life!
Gale Sayers: It's like, I'm roomin' with a colored player again.
Linda Sayers: [in disbelief] Gale told a joke.
Brian Piccolo: The stone face from Kansas speaks.

Brian Piccolo: Fantastic. Could you believe it? Sayers, I mean you've got some moves on the field; but, in the locker room, you are one big klutz. Now, listen to me, listen now.
[holds up a newspaper with the headline, "Colts Dump Bears 24-21"]
Brian Piccolo: When you dedicate a game to someone, you are then supposed to go out and win it, idiot. You know, Pat O'Brien never said, "Let's blow one for the Gipper."
Gale Sayers: Man, you is so bad.

Brian Piccolo: See, Sayers, that's why you will never make it. See, pizza has magical properties that give Italian guys a lot of strength, a lot of speed, you understand?
Gale Sayers: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, a lot of great Italian running backs!

Brian Piccolo: Hey, Sayers. You know, we're gonna have to stop meetin' like this, my wife's startin' to get suspicious.

Surgeon: Mr. Piccolo, we're gonna put you to sleep now.
Brian Piccolo: That - could be the - worst choice of words I've ever heard in my life.

Brian Piccolo: [on the phone] I heard what you did at that banquet last night. You know, if you were here, I'd kiss you.
Gale Sayers: Glad I'm not there, then.

Brian Piccolo: [watching Gale on TV trying to pick up a kicked ball] Pick it up! Pick it up, you dummy. Gale...
Nurse #1: Mr. Piccolo, calm down.
Brian Piccolo: Calm down? I'll calm down. You'd think the ball was wearin' a white sheet.

Brian Piccolo: [Brian is talking to Gale] You know, Gayle, when I was in high school, I was one of the best backs in the state... Unfortunately for me, the best back in the state, Tucker Frederickson, went to the same school... The colleges used to come and watch us play, and ol' Tuck wound up at Auburn, and I wound up at Wake Forest... Good school, nice place, but not exactly center ring, you understand? So, I worked my tail off at Wake Forest. My senior year I led the country in rushing and scoring... I mean I led the nation. So, I go look for a pro team, and I pick the Bears... Now, who else comes to the Bears but Mr. Sayers. Big guns, big school, I'm number two all over again... Well, ol' buddy, I'm number one now, but for all the wrong reasons. Unless you come back 100%, well, people are gonna say Piccolo got in on a pass, lucky break... I don't want it like that. I'm gonna whip you, Sayers, or it won't mean a thing... You're not gonna be one second slower, or one degree weaker... I am gonna work your tail off to get that leg back in shape for my sake... You got that?

Brian Piccolo: Hey, Gale, when you - when you run, do you think about what you're doin' or you just do it?
Gale Sayers: I just do it!
Brian Piccolo: Yeah, well, start thinkin' about it, will ya? I wanna play some too.