The Statue (1971) User Reviews

Size matters.

[brogmiller · 4/10 · 17 January 2021]

Alex Coppel is best known for his marvellous screenplay to 'Captain's Paradise' and his 'contribution' to 'Vertigo'. By all accounts he wrote a play called 'Chip, chip, chip.' One wonders where it was staged, if at all and who was in it!

He and Denis Norden have adapted it for this film directed by someone named Rod Amateau, an ex-stunt double most of whose directorial work was confined to the wonderful world of television.

Professor Alex Bolt is shocked to discover that the penis on the eighteen foot statue done of him by his renowned sculptress wife which is about to go on public display is decidedly not his own. He then embarks on an odyssey to discover whose amazing appendage it is and consequently behaves like a perfect dick, if you'll pardon the pun.

The actual premiss of the film is amusing and it begins rather well but alas quickly degenerates into an infantile, puerile and embarassing mess with the occasional funny line.

The outraged husband is played by David Niven who didn't make a decent film post 1963. Cinema goers tend only to remember the good ones which is just as well but as always he is saved by his immense charm. Robert Vaughn convinces as a slimy, opportunistic politician and as the sculptress Virna Lisi's smoky voice makes this viewer go weak at the knees. John Cleese is his customary forced, one-dimensional self. Ann Bell is haughty but naughty as Niven's assistant.

A fellow reviewer has very astutely noted a possible connection between this plot and the infamous Argyll divorce case of the early 1960's. The identity of the 'headless man' in the incriminating polaroid has never been truly established. It certainly wasn't Niven but by an amazing coincidence he had slept with the future 'Dirty Duchess' of Argyll when she was just fifteen which resulted in a secretly and speedily aborted pregnancy and they remained good friends until his death. Messrs. Coppel and Norden may or may not have drawn inspiration from the high society scandal but if they did the irony would certainly not have been lost on Mr. Niven.

The ultimate absurdity is when Niven's character discovers that the offending part has been copied from Michelangelo's 'David'. Although one of the greatest works of Renaissance sculpture, its genitalia is, in my humble opinion, nothing to write home about!

All-in-all a rather silly film that comes up short!

"Sounds like a stag version of Cinderella!"

[moonspinner55 · 4/10 · 4 July 2017]

Prurient-minded comedy has acclaimed language professor David Niven furious over his sculptress wife's latest work of art: an 18-foot statue of a naked man with Niven's face but not his phallus (seems size is the sticking point). Since the statue has been commissioned by the US State Department for $50,000, it will be exhibited in public in London's Grosvenor Square; Niven fights to have the unveiling suppressed (on what basis--false advertising?). Alec Coppel's play "Chip, Chip, Chip" has become a shouting match on the screen. Niven argues with wife Virna Lisi, he shouts at US Ambassador to England Robert Vaughn, he's testy with advertising friend John Cleese, all the while dropping double entendres like bombs. Second-half of plot has Niven hoping to find the model who posed for the statue's torso, following his wife's male acquaintances into steam rooms and up mountain tops to get a look at their privates. It's supposed to be good dirty fun (with lots of bare breasts and bums), but nobody involved looks like they're having a high time. *1/2 from ****

Stiff as a statue

[Wizard-8 · 14 March 2013]

There are so many worthy cult movies from the 1970s that I (among many others) wish were released on DVD, so I can't understand why this forgotten bomb was resurrected on the format. Although they say that there is no bad premise, just bad executions of premises, the premise of this particular simply doesn't seem promising. David Niven looking to find out what man's sex organ was modelled for his sculpture wife's statue? To me, that sounds both desperate and lame. And the actual execution doesn't suggest that anyone in front of or behind the camera was trying. Indeed, the premise is so thin that there are big chunks of the movie where it's very clear that NOTHING of significance is going on. Maybe that wouldn't matter if the movie was funny, but it simply isn't. The only thing about the movie that will stick in your head after watching it is the infectious song "Charlie", which is played several times during the course of the movie.

Hello Charlie!

[richardchatten · 3/10 · 12 January 2021]

Not as terrible as it's reputed to be, it's tedious rather than memorably bad; and at only 84 minutes feels a lot longer than it is. The script by Alex Coppel & Denis Norden (from the former's play 'Chip Chip Chip', and boy, does it feel like a play) unfolds like discarded scenes retrieved from Fellini's waste paper bin. Possibly inspired by the feverish speculation in the press as to the identity of the 'headless man' in the Polaroids produced in court during the Argyll divorce case in 1963, it's rather prescient of the routine photoshopping these days online of celebrities' heads on to the naked bodies of others.

The premise is also similar to Rouben Mamoulian's 'The Song of Songs' (1933). But the scandalous sculpture in that little gem was modelled by Marlene Dietrich and that film was a work of preCode sauciness whereas this is just another garrulous Italian sex comedy which aimlessly wanders about Europe while cameraman Piero Portalupi zooms back & forth between the cast and composer Riz Ortolani potters about on the soundtrack.

The Italian locations are obviously the reason why David Niven agreed to appear in this nonsense; while there are a several surprising British faces in supporting roles, including English Rose Suzanne Neve appearing topless, Hugh Burden & Eric Chitty as an elderly gay couple, two Pythons and a Goodie.

A bit below the belt

[malcolmgsw · 1/10 · 27 June 2020]

The seventies was not a good decade for comedies.Censorship had been relaxed and film makers were determined to make up for lost time.As a result a lot of distinguished actors participated in films they wouldn't ever want to watch.The only waI to describe this is puerile rubbish

Limp farce

[gridoon2024 · 3/10 · 11 May 2018]

Embarrassing below-the-belt comedy marks a career low point for the usually sophisticated David Niven. Film gets a 3/10 instead of 1 only for John Cleese's scenes (which are few and far between) as a reluctant psychiatrist, plus for brief nudity by Ann Bell.

I want this on DVD!

[phip48 · 7/10 · 18 January 2007]

I saw this movie when it first came to theatres and forgot about it until just recently. I've looked for the DVD and found it on Ebay for almost $70 and on another site for $30. Any fans out there that can recommend a company that sells it for around $15 or $20? Don't want to be cheap, but I was young, young when I saw it and only remember laughing a lot.

Just for the record, David Niven is brilliant. I can't think of any role he didn't nail and I think he was probably a very nice fellow in his personal life...even tho...of course, that is completely none of my business. This paragraph is just filling space for the minimum amount of verbiage so I can post my search for a more reasonably priced DVD. Hope it isn't cheating!

Witless farce

[bkoganbing · 2/10 · 4 March 2021]

David Niven's career hit rock bottom when he signed on to do The Statue. For a man whose name on the screen stood for charm and sophistication what was Niven thinking when he signed for this?

Niven plays a Nobel Prize winner whose wife Virna Lisi is a sculptress and has done a larger than life statue of him. However she's given him some enhanced privates obviously inspired elsewhere and Niven spends the whole film looking for the inspiration.

David Niven has uplifted more films than any other actor by dint of his personality. But this one is just too heavy a lift. It's got all the element of a stag film without the prurient interest that would make one watch.

God only knows what Niven was thinking.

Not a dick move(e)

[simonrosenbaum · 7/10 · 19 April 2023]

Not nearly as bad as I was expecting this was actually quite enjoyable for most of its running time. It feels like a typical 60's comedy that's been sexed up for the 70's.

It has several things going for it including a nice mix of Italian, English and American involvement. A fairly major role for John Cleese as well as more minor roles for Graham Chapman and Tim Brooke Taylor.

Ann Bell future star of Tenko also has a good part in it.

One very funny scene in the film as David Niven inadvertently inventing the dick pic which has to be seen to be believed.

It go's a bit crazy towards the end with a generous helping of nudity but sorts itself nicely right at the end.

A must see for all serious art students

[bernie-50 · 10/10 · 29 July 1999]

This ranks up there with "The Impossible Years." After realizing that his statue was not consistent with his anatomy David Niven searches for the model. I was caught off guard by his photographic endeavors. With all the negative films today it was nice to see that this one had a thoughtful ending. I am still looking for a VHS copy of this film.

Fluffy and hilarious

[HotToastyRag · 7/10 · 4 October 2022]

If there was any bit of me left that still respected Roger Ebert's reviews, after reading his scathing criticism of The Statue, that bit is gone. He admittedly walked out of the film, claiming it was one of the only films in his career he ever left mid-way, so how was he allowed to even write a review without its full context? He had to have some underlying personal issues that The Statue flared up; perhaps an old girlfriend made fun of his manhood once and he never got over it.

This movie is harmless. It's light, fluffy, and very funny. There's no reason, save immense mental problems, for anyone to walk out of this movie. In fact, I actually recommend it if you've had a long week and want to see something silly. David Niven stars as a world-famous Nobel Prize winner who has invented a universal language. His wife, Virna Lisi, is a sculptor. Her latest creation is a gigantic larger-than-life nude statue of her husband! He's mortified and refuses her to display it in public - until he takes a closer look and realizes the embarrassing part of the statue doesn't even belong to him. Off he goes with his pal Robert Vaughn to track down every man in his wife's little black book, sneak a peak at their privates, and find out if he's the inspiration behind the statue.

See what I mean? It's harmless, silly, and quite funny. From steam rooms to bathrooms, The Niv finds himself in one embarrassing situation after another. One that just about split my sides was when he had to make sure that he wasn't mistaken about what Niv Jr. Looked like: he snuck into a photo booth and flashed the camera for an inventive "selfie". For someone who acted in Wuthering Heights and Enchantment, it must have been beyond entertaining for him to show his raunchy side. I couldn't stop laughing, especially since I know what a playboy he was in real life. If you love The Niv, find out who took his place in The Statue.

"One of Niven's Best" You've got to be joking!

[Captain Ahab · 28 March 2002]

This has got to be one of Niven's most embarrassing films. It is horrible, silly, low, insulting, insipid and stupid. Running around the world trying to see other men's privates and a pretty thin pretext for a plot. Hey, if a guy doesn't pay attention to his wife for years he shouldn't get all self righteous when he thinks she's fooling around. In a real sense he has committed adultery with this work as co-respondent. This movie is almost as insulting as "Impossible Years" where his character goes nuts over his daughter's virginity.

The statue is on the same comedic level as Benny Hill. But that's what we expect of Benny. Not of David Niven.

Classic Niven

[bernie-50 · 10/10 · 13 October 2001]

One of David Niven's best. He notices a particular appendage on the nude statue of himself is not his and sets out to find out whose it is. In the process to make comparisons he makes use of a coin operated photo booth. You get the picture as from under the curtain you see his pants around his ankles. And some girls just passing the booth as the pictures emerge.

I am waiting for the DVD

A heartbreaking waste of talent...

[Norm P. · 22 April 1999]

When my friends ask me to name the absolutely worst movie I've ever seen, this is the one I always answer with. Considering Amateau's experience with comedy, and the quality of many of the cast members, this is a real disappointment. Maybe the saddest thing is watching David Niven trying to find the inspiration for a -- er -- feature on a statue his wife produced by skulking around lavatories, steam baths, and a bunch of other places. He looks vaguely embarrassed by it all, and really deserved a much better script. The trouble is, the production values of the film are too good for it to have much of a future on the midnight movie circuit. Plan 9, you're safe for now!

My Favorite Comedy of all time!

[[e-mail] · 10/10 · 17 February 2006]

I was fortunate enough to see this movie in 1971 and now 35 years later I am trying to get a copy of this for my video library. In this movie, David Niven, who has been away on diplomatic business views a statue of him that is wife was working on while he was away. The statue of him is exactly him, except for the genitalia. He then proceeds to investigate who visited his wife while he was away to see who may have been the inspiration. He takes his list of his wife's visitors and tries to compare their private areas with the statue to solve the mystery. This movie is a true masterpiece of comedy, and I hope to see a DVD release of this someday. Older VHS copies occasionally show up on Ebay, but are too expensive for such an obsolete format.

Hysterical content and exemplary performances!

[ddonn57 · 9/10 · 28 May 2013]

Absolutely hysterical!,,. I saw this one upon release in 1973 at a drive-in movie theater no less. I remember this one as one of the funniest movies I have EVER seen! Mr. Niven's performance was certainly first rate. I have often found myself thinking fondly of this film and invariably I end with a disappointing search for an affordable copy on DVD. I have been seeking a copy of this movie for so long I would even settle for a copy on VHS! But alas no luck. In the past few years I have seen a single VHS copy available for sale on venues like eBay but at a cost of $70 + I just haven't been very keen on taking a chance with a purchase. If anyone viewing this has any leads on a reputable ( and affordable) source for this first rate comedy please post info here. Assuming any viable prints still exist it would be great to see a mainline transfer to DVD made available.

One of the funniest, hysterically so that I ever recall seeing.

[lizzard-583-21512 · 8/10 · 30 November 2009]

I have a huge VHS and Beta tape collection and am very generous about lending but am now reconsidering my past actions. I would love to see this one again as it passed my test that "off colour" MUST be superseded by humor. I don't recall ever laughing more heartily and would love to do so again if I can find a copy. Yes it IS Naughty but it is also Very Nice. Only David Niven was capable of handling a role such as this and still remain the true British Gentleman; even while making somewhat of an ass of himself but always recovering from each silly event. Cary Grant might have pulled it off but his type of good looks would not have filled the bill so well. I am rather surprised that a new version of this never turned up, such a crazy theme!!!!

This film is worth a look

[Tony Rome · 9/10 · 30 January 2011]

The disclaimer at the beginning of the DVD apologizes for the poor quality of the transfer, apparently there are hardly any prints of this film still in existence. This film was just released on DVD and is quite legible, with the exception of numerous scratches. The reviews of this film at the time of release in 1971, were awful. Roger Ebert reveled in his review that he "walked out," before the movie was even over. This film is definitely a strange one, however it has good qualities today. John Cleese is in an early performance as David Niven's friend, there is also an appearance by Graham Chapman, and Tim Brooke Taylor. There is humor here, the search for the model who posed as Niven's private parts, for the creation of the statute does get slightly dragged out, nevertheless it is still funny. The stage production of "Skin," bears a resemblance to Hair, but it is more zany and wild. I recommend this films for fans of Niven, Cleese, Robert Vaughn, and rare lost films. *****

You must study the classics to enjoy this movie

[Bernie4444 · 8/10 · 11 April 2024]

The husband is Alex Bolt (David Niven), a Nobel winning British linguist, who developed a universal language. The wife is Rhonda (Virna Lisi) commissioned to make a statue of Alex. The statue is 18 feet tall and depicts Alex in this birthday suit. Alex is a tad embarrassed but soon it is pointed out that a certain appendage is not his. So now he is wondering who his wife used as the model and maybe what she had been up to? Will he discover the mystery and is it possible for an uh...er art lover to be offered the appendage?

The movie is lots of fun to follow the trail of the sleuth. It is fairly low key. Yet it is one of David Niven's best.

See David Niven again trying to figure out who did it.