The Owl and the Pussycat (1970)

Barbra Streisand: Doris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Doris : Who gave you permission to read my panties?

• Doris : I may be a prostitute but I am NOT promiscuous!

• Doris : Hey, Felix, do you want to fool around?

  Felix : No, I do NOT want to fool around.

  Doris : Okay. Do you want a drink of water?

• Doris : [Heard off-screen in the soundtrack to CYCLE SLUTS]  What are you doing? What's that for? What are you going to do with that? What's that THING? And what's that other thing? Where ya gonna put that? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it. You can't do that.

  [Screams] 

  Doris : No, not with both of 'em. You can't, I tell ya. You can't. Can you? Oh, maybe you can. My God, you could!

• Felix : Did you ever try reading a book?

  Doris : A book! Oh yeah, yeah, I used to read Playboy all the time until I got mad at them.

  Felix : Why?

  Doris : Well, you know, I posed for these, eh, terrific, eh, playmate of the month thing, you know.

  Felix : Yeah, what happened?

  Doris : They sent them back.

• Felix : I don't write to make money.

  Doris : But, you'd take it if they gave it to ya, wouldn't ya?

  Felix : Yes. But, it would be inconsistent with my aesthetic responsibilities.

  Doris : I understood "with" and "my".

• Doris : What about last night?

  Felix : What ABOUT last night?

  Doris : When we made love. Wasn't that good for you?

  Felix : You've got your terminology confused, Doris. That was not making love.

  Doris : Well, whatever it was it beat the hell out of drying the dishes!

  Felix : What we did was to get a fast thrill.

  Doris : No. One time is a fast thrill. Six times is making love.

• Felix : I'm extremely sorry but I don't know the story to "The Sound Of Music".

  Doris : Oh no, that's terrible.

  Felix : You thought "The Sound Of Music" was terrible?

  Doris : Four times I saw that terrible movie.

  Felix : You must have really hated it.

  Doris : I saw it with my friend Eleanor at the Loew's King now torn down. It was playing continuous, no intermission. Get it?

  Felix : I don't think so.

  Doris : Her bladder burst.

• Felix : They would give me money to write THEIR way. I want to write MY way!

  Doris : Well, I guess they figure it's THEIR money.

  Felix : Yes, I think that's the way they figure.

• Doris : This is a double bed.

  Felix : I know.

  Doris : I always feel so selfish sleeping alone in a double bed, when there are people in China sleeping on the ground.

• Doris : Hey, how come you and Miss Weyderhaus

  [referring to Felix's pianist fiancee] 

  Doris : don't mess around?

  Felix : I told you.

  Doris : What? She's very fragile. She's fragile, right?

  Felix : She's worried... she's worried about her hands. She doesn't want to hurt her hands.

  Doris : She could wear boxing gloves.

• Doris : [to Felix through the door]  Swear! Swear that you are just a little fruit all alone in the hall.

• Doris : [Felix and Doris are stoned in the bathtub; sound of door closing]  Was that a door?

  Felix : That was a door.

  Doris : Did someone come in?

  Felix : Unless one of us went out.

  Doris : [sound of someone calling out]  That is a DEFINITE person.

  Felix : Correct.