Trama

Dating agency owner Sidney faces challenges pairing unconventional clients, causing romantic turmoil in a quaint town. Personal entanglements arise as peculiar matches ignite jealousies and conflicts within the local romantic landscape.

The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snogging on-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called "The Wit to Woo". The strange collection of hopefuls leads to some outlandish matches, and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble.—Simon N. McIntosh-Smith <Simon.N.Smith@cs.cf.ac.uk>

When they aren't dealing with clients of their business, Wedded Bliss, a "computer" matchmaking/matrimonial service, Sidney and Sophie Bliss, together for ten years, are constantly at each other's throats. The "computer" is just a front as they hand pick the matches themselves from among their clients. The reason for their animosity toward each other is that Sid has taken up with one of their clients, Esme Crowfoot, so Sophie, in her anger, always tries to set Esme up with other clients, such as naive Bertram Muffet. Esme probably would have married her last boyfriend, wrestler Gripper Burke, if he had not moved away to the US. Other clients include: sheltered Plain Jane Jenny Grubb; regular bloke Terry Philpott who has been in one disastrous date after another set up by the Blisses; and Percival Snooper, whose confirmed bachelor status his employer believes is the reason for his poor on-the-job performance and resultantly is forced to marry to retain his job, namely as a marriage counselor. While natural attraction between people, client or not, beyond what the Blisses arrange, what happens with this collective is also affected by the true nature of the Blisses own relationship.—Huggo

Various events involve a dating agency run by Sid Bliss (Sid James) and his longtime girlfriend Sophie Plummett (Hattie Jacques). Their "Wedded Bliss" agency purports to bring together lonely-hearts using computer-matching technology, but couples are actually paired up by Sophie. Bliss consistently avoids marrying Sophie, enthusiastically pursuing Esme Crowfoot (Joan Sims), a seamstress and client who consistently rejects his advances. The agency also has a handbook for their clients called "the Wit to Woo".

Sid and Sophie charge 2 Guineas for registration, 2 Guineas for introduction and 2 Guineas for "clicking" after marriage, 4 Guineas for "clicking" without marriage. Bertram Muffet arrives at the agency. He is 27 years old and is looking for a 17-year-old wife. He desperately wants to have sex and is a virgin. His main hobby is building model airplanes out of milk bottle tops and collecting book matches. Sophie matches Muffet with Esme.

Sid tries to explain to Muffet that Esme is not a right match for him, but it does not matter to him. For Muffet, absolutely any woman would do. Sid calls Esme, who is angry with Sid for being flirty with her the previous evening and cuts the call. Sid keeps on talking and pretends to make an appointment for Esme and Muffet to meet that very evening. However, Esme never got that instruction as she had already cut the call.

Percival Snooper (Kenneth Williams) becomes a client to find a wife for business reasons. As a confirmed bachelor, he's inept at his job as a marriage counselor due to lack of personal experience. Snooper finds it hard to understand the problems of his clients as they speak in metaphors that are easily understandable to all married people, but not to bachelors. Snooper's boss gives an ultimatum for him to get married, or he will be fired from his job.

James Bedsop (Charles Hawtrey) is a private detective Sophie hires to spy on Sid's after-hours activities when he supposedly "vets" the female clients, including Esme. Sid retorts that he cannot be expected to match the clients properly until he understands what they do, but Sophie says that Sid should stick to the male clients and leave the females to her.

Dr. Crippen (Peter Butterworth) is a Bluebeard like character. He approaches Sid Bliss to find his third wife. His first wife died eating poisoned mushrooms, the second suffered a fractured skull because "she wouldn't eat the mushrooms." Sid tears up Crippen's information card and asks him not to call the agency.

Timid Bertram Muffet (Richard O'Callaghan) winds up with model Sally Martin (Jacki Piper) after he meets her at the bar where he was supposed to meet Esme. Sally was the only single woman at the bar. Muffet approaches Sally and says that he is from the "agency".

Sally is a nude model & believes that Muffet is a photographer from the photo agency. Sally takes him to her house for a nude photo-shoot, which makes Muffet extremely uncomfortable. Sally gets into a bikini before it is clear that Muffet is from the wedding agency & was looking for Esma Crowfoot. Sid had deliberately muddled the appointment as Sophie had forced him into it, and he never wanted Esma to get married to anyone. While Muffet was busy with Sally, Sid took the opportunity to leave the agency office to visit Esma at her home.

Client Terry Philpotts (Terry Scott) suffers several failures in his dealings with the agency including a disastrous meeting with prim, sheltered Jenny Grubb (Imogen Hassall). The blind date is at Jenny's mother's mansion where Jenny is surrounded by all her old family members. Jenny's mother forbids all physical contact, including shaking hands, before marriage.

Jenny's mother dictates that Jenny will meet Terry only once a week, in the company of her mother. She also inquires Terry about his financial status. Terry has a private income of 3000 pounds a year, which Jenny's mother states is inadequate to support Jenny's entire family. Jenny's mother insists that Terry has to live in her mansion after marriage. Terry makes a hasty exit. Jenny moves in with Sally, undergoes a makeover, and becomes a model. Terry later finds romance with the "new" Jenny.

Muffet calls the agency where Sophie picks the phone. Muffet complains that Esma never showed up for the date. Sophie understands that Sid is deliberately shielding Esma. She gives Esma's home address to Muffet, fully knowing the Sid is likely to there, which he is. What Sid finds to his horror is that Esma's estranged lover, volatile wrestler Gripper Burke (Bernard Bresslaw), returns while he is inside Esma's apartment. He escapes via the fire escape, just when Muffet arrives at Esma's apartment looking for a date with her. Muffet is badly roughed up by Gripper.

Sally visits Muffet in the hospital & offers to take the relationship forward with a proper date. Sophie tells Percival that the most compatible profile with Percival is Sophie herself. Percival's association with Sophie provokes his jealous housekeeper, dowdy Miss Dempsey (Patsy Rowlands), to reveal her seductive side.

Sid is angry at Snooper for snaring Sophie from him. So, he tells Esma to call Snooper's house, when Sophie is meeting Snooper & calls Gripper to give him Snooper's address, telling him that he will find Esma there. Esma claims that she is Snooper's lover & is carrying her child. Sophie sees this & believes that Snooper is dishonest & that Esma is not interested in Sid. Gripper reaches Snooper's house & finds Esma there & attacks Snooper, but Dempsey handles him & wrestles him out of the house.

The next day Sophie returns to Sid, hoping to reconcile only to find from James Bedsop that Sid had used Esma to break up Sophie from Snooper. Sophie is ready to walk out when Sid proposes marriage. The couple arranges a reception with all the couple that they helped bring together. At the reception, Gripper attacks Sid as he recognizes the suit, he is wearing to the one he found in Esma's bedroom the night he returned. This leads to a huge cake fight in the group.