Putney Swope (1969)

Arnold Johnson: Putney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Reporter : Mr. Swope, did you sleep with your wife before you were married?

  Putney Swope : Not a wink.

• Putney Swope : The changes I'm going to make will be minimal. I'm not going to rock the boat. Rocking the boat's a drag. What you do is sink the boat!

• Mark Focus : I'll do it for nothing - I need the work!

  Putney Swope : I can get anybody for nothing. Take a walk!

• Mrs. Swope : I'm gonna bend your johnson, Swope!

  Putney Swope : I'm ready!

  Mrs. Swope : I'm gonna make you young again.

• Idea Man #2 : Picture a foxy chick sitting on a park bench, the camera zooms underneath her dress and you cut to a train coming out of a tunnel. It's a commercial for the Long lsland Railroad. Like, it's surreal man, surreal.

  Putney Swope : Are you for surreal?

• Putney Swope : I'm all stacked up over LaGuardia and I ain't coming down for anyone, not even you.

• Mr. Bad News : Sonny Williams got picked up in the Bronx Holiday Inn with a 13-year-old girl.

  Putney Swope : At least he's not superstitious.

• Putney Swope : Shouldn't you be at school?

  Billy Reilly : Fuck you. And fuck the establishment. And fuck you people who are trying to make me part of the unestablished establishment.

• Bissinger : Our war toy account is up 23% and a third.

  Putney Swope : Hey, Bissinger, you better get hip to reality. By advertising toy guns, you're encouraging kids to enjoy violence.

  Bissinger : You're only Music Director around here, Swope. What do you know about the total spectrum?

  Putney Swope : I know what I feel.

  Nathan : What's that got to do with it?

  Putney Swope : I think we should drop the account.

  Nathan : How dare you!

  Putney Swope : Drop the account and show the business community and the public that we're morally and socially responsible.

  Elias, Jr. : Groovy, let's do it.

• Putney Swope : Nathan, you're a good businessman and you're not a cop-out. So, I'm going to let you stay.

  Nathan : I want a contract that guarantees me an expense account, stock options, 22 weeks vacation, a company car, a box at Shea Stadium, a percentage of the gross, total creative freedom, transplant insurance, and a no-cut clause.

  Putney Swope : Nathan, you're corrupt.

  Nathan : Thank you.

• Putney Swope : Brothers, you can't change nothing with rhetoric and slogans; because, if a man's really got the truth in his pocket, he doesn't talk about it. He hangs it out on a shingle where people can see it.

• Mr. Victrola Cola : Great window cleaner. Don't drip and it don't streak. But it smells bad. Cleans good, but it smells bad.

  Putney Swope : [takes a sniff]  As a window cleaner, forget it. Put soybeans in it for protein and we'll push it as a soft drink in the ghetto. Lay a picture of a Rhythm and Blues singer on it and we'll call it Victrola Cola.

  Mr. Victrola Cola : I think we got a winner.

  Putney Swope : We better. Or you and that jism are gonna be back in that drugstore where I found you.

• Putney Swope : Who do you think you are, Lawrence of Nigeria?

  The Arab : At least I ain't jive.

• President of the United States : [on the phone]  Putney?

  Putney Swope : Yeah.

  President of the United States : Guess who?

  Putney Swope : Marcus Garvey.

• Putney Swope : From now on, if outsiders wanna talk to me, they're gonna talk in my face. No more telephones. Too much communication.

  Mr. Bald : If you take out the phones, how are we going to conduct business?

  Putney Swope : With your head and your soul.

• Putney Swope : When I see things that ain't fresh, I get butterflies in my ulcer. So, from now on, you got to come up with completely original fantasies. Stop looking at the tube. Stop reading magazines and newspapers - and don't talk to strangers.