The Magic Christian (1969)

Ringo Starr: Youngman Grand

Photos 

Quotes 

• Youngman Grand, Esq. : Dad, do you think words corrupt?

  Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : I don't know, let's try. Agnes?

  Dame Agnes Grand : [looks up from the television]  Yes?

  Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : Nipple.

  Dame Agnes Grand : Shh!

  [turns back to the television] 

  Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [watches her a moment]  Well, there's no immediate physical change.

• Sir John : [Oxford has just purposely rammed Cambridge, at the annual Boat Race]  It would never have happened in my day!

  Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : Nor mine!

  Youngman Grand, Esq. : Well, it's happenin' in mine!

• Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [as he and Youngman admire a painting]  I like school of Rembrandt.

  Youngman Grand, Esq. : St. Rembrandt's High.

• Hamlet : [Laurence Harvey, onstage]  "To be..."

  Youngman Grand, Esq. : [loud enough to be heard, turning to Sir Guy]  I've seen it.

  Hamlet : "Or not to be... that is the question."

  Youngman Grand, Esq. : Shakespeare, right?

  Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [whispers, eyes toward the stage]  Right, and double right.

• Youngman Grand, Esq. : You're certainly puttin' everybody on today, Dad.

  Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : Well, you know, Youngman, sometimes it's not enough merely to teach. One has to punish as well. A little bit of the old pause.

  Youngman Grand, Esq. : Cause for pause?

  Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : Yes.

• Hon. Esther Grand : [as all hell breaks loose, aboard the Magic Christian]  Youngman, what IS going on?

  Youngman Grand, Esq. : [innocently]  Ship's concert, I shouldn't wonder.

• Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [speaking with the Oxford crew, before the annual Boat Race]  We have come here, in fact, to make you a very interesting offer...

  Youngman Grand, Esq. : ...of money.

  Oxford crew : [as the whole crew laughs]  I think... I think they're trying to bribe us!

  Oxford coach : [giving a matter-of-fact look]  They ARE.