Kong Island (1968) User Reviews

Kong Island?

[BertCat · 2/10 · 25 September 2005]

Just plain bad. I'm no movie producer, nor will I claim to be proficient with anything beyond a digital camera. But given a minor budget even I could have done better. The wildlife scenes while while we travel with Diana out on the safari look more like discards from some tourist footage -- out of focus and wobbly distant shots. The plot is all too predictable. Add in the very poor dialog between the characters, and we have a bad show.

On the plus side, the women are not un-attractive. One watches in anticipation when Diana undresses in the tent. Or wakes up when Ursula is in the bath tub. Or does a frame by frame to catch you know what when Eva is on the screen.

The final show down was just a let down, full of impractical plot devices. We all knew Burt would somehow overpower Turk, who was fighting in the close confines of a cave with a rifle. Then we have Ursula and her husband arriving to the cave to squabble with Albert (clearly they knew some shortcut shaving days off the trip!). Oh and then Burt is somehow able to disrupt the "controler" by simply busting a light!

BTW, Marc Lawrence, who played Albert, appeared in "The Man with the Golden Gun" as the mafia hit man in the pre-credit sequence. Wasn't until near the end I made the connection.

Still I was happy to see the closing credits, being able now to brag I suffered through one of the worst movies ever made.

There's no king, no kong, and no island

[iago-6 · 4/10 · 2 June 2006]

I found this movie as part of a 3-movies-on-one-budget-DVD set called Killer Gorilla, and, having never considered the killer gorilla movie as a genre, thought that I should immediately fill this crucial gap in my knowledge. I also am attracted to the brazen way which this movie attempts to cash in on the familiar name of a more famous movie: that's right, Howard's End.

Viewers will not be surprised to learn, however, that there is in fact no king, no kong, and no island. We begin with what I can only assume is the "Love Theme from Kong Island" as we have all this exotica lounge music playing over the credits (by the way, this movie is just Kong Island in the credits). We are immediately introduced to our local mad doctor, who is performing a top-secret operation on a gorilla while spooky "woo-ooo" music plays. This, I might as well just tell you now, is to implant a mind-control device, so the mad doctor can control the gorillas, raise an army, etc.

Cut to hot bar owner Theodore, who likes his women the way he likes his rocks: silent and still. He has this daughter Ursula, who is still in love with this guy Burt, who I think may be the hero. One thing you notice right away is that the guys are pretty burly! They are all gathered in this happening exotic nightclub, where some hugger-mugger or other happens, I think telling us that Burt is on some mission of revenge or some such.

Soon we are treated to some really low-grade kung fu, then they all head off into the jungle, led by their guide Kaloomba. Unrelated nature footage abounds as they turn left and right, pretending to be amazed by the many wild creatures of the Congo. But soon, guys in gorilla suits are gathering and they make off with Ursula.

Burt, this muscleman played by Brad Harris, who apparently portrayed Hercules in several movies, and was also in SS Hell Camp, as well as Dallas and Falcon Crest, decides that he's feeling not so fresh, and locates a stream where he strips his shirt off and runs cool water all over his heavily muscled body. It is total beefcake. He then sees the jungle queen, whose name is, I kid you not, the Sacred Monkey, and he says the only thing his little mind knows how to: "HEY!" Then we rejoin Theodore and his wife as they have a fight. Theodore slaps the bejesus out of her, then throws her on the bed to ravage her, then we cut away. We next see the mad doctor in his poorly-conceived lab, where he tells Ursula "Now you will have to serve me, like them!" (meaning like the gorillas. So, is he saying that the gorillas serve him sexually? Kinky doctor.) Then the hero shows up, and there's some fights, then Theodore and his wife are there, and the wife shoots Theodore right in front of Ursula, his daughter! The mother turns around and tells Ursula: "This is all your fault!" Poor Ursula is really gonna have a few issues with relating, closeness and intimacy, I'm afraid.

Anyway, as has been signed into law, if a mad scientist has created and / or controls a living thing, it is decreed that the animal or whatever revolt and rise up to kill him at the end. The pattern is not reversed here. Then they bid a bittersweet adieu to the Sacred Monkey, and Ursula is all perky and waving "bye!" mere minutes after watching her mother kill her father in front of her. Poor girl, her mind is irrevocably cracked.

Overall, kind of fun, though it did get a little boring with all the interminable walking through the jungle and gaping at inserted nature footage. Though on the plus side there is all the hunky male beef and the exotica bachelor den music… it could be worse.

------ Hey, check out Cinema de Merde, my website on bad and cheesy movies (with a few good movies thrown in). You can find the URL in my email address above.

Life is cheap but ape suits are expensive

[El-Stumpo · 4/10 · 2 November 2007]

We now go to East Africa, where life is cheap but clearly ape suits are expensive. And by Africa we mean a studio back-lot somewhere in Italy that doubles for the "island" in King Of Kong Island.

I must have denghi fever and it's my insane imaginings that jungle B-films were the property of the 1930s and 40s: what could be described as "Apesploitation", or the "Monkeys Going Bananas" genre. And yet in the 1960s, with Planet Of The Apes one of the most popular films of the year ("You dirty rotten stinking apes!") we have Night Of The Bloody Apes (1968) from Mexico, soon followed by the Italian sexploitation film Queen Kong (1976), and Hong Kong's Goliathon/Mighty Peking Man (1977). It may be man's endless fascination with our lesser-evolved simian twins, or we just can't help but get a cheap laugh out of a guy in a monkey suit.

King Of Kong Island opens with a dastardly scientist Dr Muller using stolen goods to fund his surgical experiments on gorillas. Now, seriously, "gorilla"? Even I own a better monkey suit than this. Cut to a hunting expedition led by Burt (Brad Harris, the American actor who played everyone from Samson to Goliath and Hercules) who is ambushed by not one but TWO "gorillas", complete with surgical scars, who kidnap Diana, the most attractive of the group. Despite his previous mission's complete and abject failure, Burt is charged with bringing Diana back, past miles of stock footage - although to be truthful the producers did find a parrot and a cockatoo and a few pink flamingos for a shirtless Burt, who at times resembles a shaved ape himself, to chase around a studio lagoon.

In an amalgam of every thirty-year old jungle cliché, Burt comes across some spooked natives in awe of the Sacred Monkey God, a helpful chimp and a jungle girl called Eva, who can't utter a word of English but speaks fluent monk-ese, which leads Burt to look her square in the eye and ask, "Are you the Sacred Monkey?" Unbelievable. The hunt ends at Dr Muller's underground dungeon-cum-laboratory in the middle of the jungle where the insane megalomaniac - and the King of the title - has turned the apes into radio-controlled zombies, manipulated by an enormous Electronic Brain.

The film was picked up by American producer Dick Randall, an old-fashioned expert in hullabaloo who was as colorful as the characters in his own Z-grade pickups. Born in the US but based mainly in Rome, Randall was the guy who filmed Jayne Mansfield's grieving family a week after her death and immediately edited the footage into his 1968 mondo film The Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield. He also sold the Filipino midget James Bond spoof For Your Height Only (1981) to the world and turned the two foot nine star Weng Weng into an unlikely international superstar. He could sell a chainsaw massacre to Texas with the 1982 Spanish slasher film Pieces, and could sell a turkey-baster to Foghorn Leghorn in the same breath as he sold this turkey.

Did I say "turkey"? I meant "gorilla", and as honorary Great White Hunters we should approach this film with the right spirit, whose concepts are as absurd as the very idea of white colonialism itself.

Talk about a misleading title!

[reptilicus · 19 May 2003]

The Italian title for this film was EVE, THE WILD WOMAN which makes a lot better sense than the one attached to it for foreign distribution, KING OF KONG ISLAND. There is no king, no kong, and no island! This is the sort of plot that Republic might have made a 12 chapter serial about. A mad scientist is performing brain operations on gorillas deep in the jungle (NOT on an island) to create an army of simian slaves. Why is he doing this? Because he is a MAD scientist and that is what mad scientists do! Enter the hero (Brad Harris from several muscleman movies) and the heroine (Esmeralda Barros as the Eve, the title character) to defeat the madman and restore the natural balance to the jungle.

Eve the jungle girl is topless for the whole picture but her long flowing hair is strategically arranged except at certain dramatic moments. Those gorillas with the stitches in their heads don't look like gorillas at all to me, they look like stuntmen in costumes! It takes forever for the plot to get going; in fact it starts like an action adventure with Harris' character as a mercenary looking for revenge against the guy who double crossed him. The science fiction element and the jungle girl subplot are introduced to wake the audience up later on.

Perhaps if they had thrown in a dinosaur or two and a nice big explosion at the end. Oh well. I am off to watch the old 1944 serial THE MONSTER AND THE APE . . at least that one delivered what the title promised!

No King! No Kong! No Science!

[Hitchcoc · 2/10 · 15 April 2006]

One of the things I've discovered as I make my way through a bunch of B (or C), movies, is that they seem to plod along forever. We enter this film with a group of crooks turning on each other over some stolen money. As things unwind, we are introduced to a mercenary who was wounded by a man he trusted during the opening scene. He obsesses over revenge. We have a couple of women. One a kind of Rita Hayworth type without the good looks (no offense), and a sixties kind of go go dancing looking type, who can handle a rifle. Her father, who is the Ernest Hemingway type, and her brother live with these people. Anyway, there is a subplot of a mad scientist (why are they always mad?) who has done things to affect the brains of gorillas. They can then be controlled by the scientist (the odd thing is that it also transforms them into upright creatures that look like skinny men in cheap monkey suits). Through a series of convoluted plot developments and some deaths, some tribal unrest, a few organized gorilla attacks, the young go go dancer girl ends up in the clutches of the mad scientist. Somehow she ends up with less clothes on than she used to. The scientist ogles her and has future plans which we can only imagine. There's also a native woman who is a kind of queen of the gorillas. They love and respect her, and she always was able to talk to them and get them to do what she wants. Unfortunately, the brain thing messes this up. Need I go on, There is some ridiculous finale with people exchanging the upper hand. The only thing missing is the word "Aha!" My poorly written explanation actually makes the movie sound better than it is. Sorry!

Inept jungle adventure, so awful it's beyond description.

[barnabyrudge · 1/10 · 6 May 2007]

Eva, La Venere Selvaggia goes by various titles - English-speaking audiences probably know it best as either Kong Island or King Of Kong Island. Regardless of what title you know it by, the film is awful. It is a masterpiece of ineptitude to rank alongside Plan 9 From Outer Space, Robot Monster, Astro Zombies and the Bo Derek version of Tarzan The Ape-Man. Truly one of the worst movies ever made.

Mercenary Burt Dawson (Brad Harris) is involved in a payroll robbery in the African bush, but during the operation he is shot and left for dead by a supposed partner-in-crime named Albert Muller (Marc Lawrence). Months later, Muller has retreated to a secret cave where he is using the stolen fortune to finance scientific research into brain control. But Dawson - who somehow survived the earlier double-cross - turns up once again in Africa seeking revenge. Dawson's vengeance trail begins in a night-club, where he visits an old acquaintance called Theodore (Aldo Cecconi) and asks for information about Muller's whereabouts. Later, Dawson meets up with Theodore's kids - adventurous son Robert (Mark Farran) and daughter Diana (Ursula Davis), both of whom are about to set off on a hunting expedition to track down the legendary Sacred Monkey. Whilst out in the bush searching for this fabled creature, Diana is kidnapped by a pair of robotic gorillas. Only later does it become clear that the gorillas are actually acting under the influence of mind control, having had microchips implanted in their brain by Albert Muller. When Dawson learns of Diana's abduction - and hears that Muller is responsible for it - he jumps at the chance to track down his treacherous ex-pal. He joins an expedition into the jungle, but along the way they stumble across Eva (Esmerelda Barros), a female savage who has grown up in the wild (think "lady-Tarzan" who likes nothing better than to cavort around topless). Eventually, Dawson and Eva join forces to track down Muller, leading to a final confrontation in his underground laboratory.

There are some films that are so bad they become enjoyable in a twisted sort of way. Sadly Eva, La Venere Selvaggia is NOT one of them. This one is just plain bad, to such an extent that watching it becomes a test of willpower and writing a review of it merely reminds you what a painful experience it was to endure. Everything about the film fails - the acting, the music, the story, the photography, the directing. Lawrence hams it up embarrassingly as the mad villain, while Harris is impossibly wooden as the hero. Barros simply jogs around naked with her hair combed strategically over her breasts, smiling her way through perhaps the lamest role ever asked of any actress in a motion picture. Robert Pregadio provides the music, but rather than trying to perk up the proceedings with a bit of dramatic scoring, he settles for something that makes you think you're strolling through a 1960s department store. The story itself would be funny were it not so tedious, with interminable shots of people trekking through the jungle interspersed with wildlife footage clearly dug up from other sources. Eva, La Venere Selvaggia is essential viewing if you're trying to pick a candidate for "The Worst Film Of All-Time" competition. Apart from that - or should that be because of it? - it is utterly worthless grade-Z garbage.

A million miles away from Fay Wray

[bensonmum2 · 2/10 · 4 July 2005]

• I can sum up this movie in one word - trash. Everything about Kong Island is near the bottom of the barrel. First, let's look at the name - Kong Island - what a rip-off. When I see the name "Kong", I naturally think of a very large gorilla. There is no towering ape in this movie. Instead, there are a few average size gorillas. The next word, Island, would seem to indicate that the movie takes place on a small piece of land completely surrounded by the ocean. Unless you consider Africa an island, there's not one to be found.

• The acting is horrible. The female lead, Ursula Davis, is about as low rent a heroine as I've seen. She doesn't act or look the part of a beautiful damsel in distress. I could go on, but what's the point. No one comes out of this movie looking good.

• The special effects, and I use that the term "special" liberally, are terrible. The opening scene of a gorilla surgery is obviously a mask. Then there are the gorillas themselves. I've seen better gorilla suits in a local costume shop. Low budget doesn't begin to describe Kong Island.

• I haven't even gotten to the plot, such as it is. It's a confusing story of a mad scientist who puts electronic devices into the heads of gorillas so he can control their actions. It's never made clear why he does this. The previously mentioned damsel's father is also involved financially in this scheme. Why? I don't know. Most of it seems like it was made up on the fly.

• I could go on and on about the goofiness of Kong Island, but why bother. I'll end with one word of advice - AVOID!

Standard mad scientist story with some additional subplots: For camp fans - A+, everybody else - D

[mstomaso · 3/10 · 7 June 2007]

Kong Island, or Eva the Wild Woman is a little difficult to rate. From the point of view of campy b-movie fun, it's goofy and good, but basically, the film isn't really good. It does make more of an effort than a lot of similar films, and is, at times, actually interesting.

Burt (Brad Harris) is double-crossed by Albert (Marc Lawrence, who gives a career-low performance) after a payroll heist in Africa (not an island). After an undisclosed time, Burt returns to Africa to reap revenge. But, as it turns out, Albert is waiting for him, with a small army of remote controlled gorillas. Add a few subplots and season with a generally attractive cast then half-bake for a few hours.

Let's start with the worst aspects:

With the exception of Esmeralda Barros and Mark Farran, the acting is abominable. Of course, the script didn't give any of the actors much to work with, and Ms. Barros (Eva AKA the Sacred Monkey) has a non-speaking role). Brad Harris is ripped, that's about all. I am sure he could have carried the production equipment, but he didn't carry the film. Marc Lawrence has done some interesting work, but his performance here is remarkably bad.

The gorilla costumes are hilarious, and the actors in them are not particularly good at aping apes. The stock footage of African animals is not very well integrated into the action (especially the animals that are obviously living in captivity).

And now, the OK:

The story line is a bit better thought out than most b-grade mad scientist movies, and some of the characters actually seem to have personalities (though not necessarily consistent ones).

The directing is OK. There are some pacing problems - with a few lengthy and unnecessary scenes of people walking through the jungle and safari trucks driving about. The camera work and editing are both pretty good, but there are a couple of rather glaring errors.

And the good:

I liked Esmeralda Barros' character, and felt that she should have been introduced into the film earlier than she was.

Generally, the film keeps moving, and, with the exception of the ridiculous Brad Harris swimming scene (which happens just after one of his companions is murdered - always take a dip immediately after watching somebody get eviscerated, that's what I say), stays focused on the main story.

Ursula Davis has very nice eyes.

Campy B movie buffs WILL LIKE THIS. Can't recommend it for anybody else.

"I've been hunting the sacred monkey for a year and I don't intend to lose her now."

[classicsoncall · 2/10 · 18 March 2006]

If the handful of postings from prior reviewers haven't been enough, let me chime in with my two cents for "Kong Island". In the tradition of hundreds of 'B' Westerns of the Thirties and Forties, the story has absolutely nothing to do with the title, which on the surface, looks to be cashing in on the gorilla frenzy of those prior eras. To be sure, there are men in monkey suits, but there is nothing of King Kong stature in size or excitement to hold this turkey together.

Brad Harris portrays adventurer Burt Dawson, on the trail of the man who crossed him in an East African payroll robbery. So just for the record, the lead character is really no better than the goon he sets out after. Allowing for the redemption factor, a mission to rescue the kidnapped daughter (Ursula Davis) of a wealthy financier, Dawson sets out to confront the guy who double crossed him. Harris, a veteran of several Hercules movies, gets to do the obligatory shirtless scene about halfway through in a jungle pool. He's observed by Eva of the Italian title for this gorilla trek, who's long flowing hair is strategically aligned to cover her, well shall we say coconuts.

Mark Lawrence, who appeared in well over two hundred films primarily as a heavy, is the lead villain in this piece. He's the mastermind behind a scheme to control gorillas with implants that receive their instruction from a transmitter housed in a giant brain. You can see where this is going can't you? It will be up to anti-hero Dawson to foil Albert Munier's (Lawrence) plans, through plot twists that pile up along the way involving his benefactor Theodore (Aldo Cecconi) and wife Ursula (Adriana Alben). Since I'm on the subject, why are there so many Theodore's and Ursula's involved with this project?

"Kong Island" is beset by poor lighting, uneven and shaky camera work, and distracting color rendition. Depending on your point of view, this actually might add to the unique character of the film, not to mention the soundtrack that's keenly out of sync with events on screen. But who am I to tell you to stay away from this atrocity? Probably the best recommendation for the monkey shines here is an actual quote from Burt Dawson early in the movie - "It's hard to believe a story like that".

Rima the bird girl, Rambo and Ernst Stavro Blofeld meets the Planet of the Apes

[Chase_Witherspoon · 3/10 · 5 April 2012]

While there's something for everyone (almost) in this action sci-fi, it's unlikely to be your most memorable movie experience. Amiable he-man Brad Harris stars as a mercenary soldier who's double crossed by his medic companion (Lawrence) in a bungled heist, but survives to seek revenge upon the mad doctor now experimenting on gorillas with mind control programming.

Aside from the shirtless Harris, flexing his body-built physique as he cavorts in a jungle pool, Tarzan style, there's also the scantily clad trio Esmerelda Barros (as a fabled native girl accompanied by the ubiquitous cheeky chimp), Adriana Alben (as Harris' sultry, former flame) and Ursula Davis as the short-shorts wearing pawn in Lawrence's diabolical plan to lure Harris to his lair for the purposes of programming him for mind control.

There's a great dancing scene to showcase Harris' moves, a couple of violent ape attacks, some safari wildlife-spotting, and the promise of much more that never really eventuates. Like an early James Bond film meets "King Kong" or "Planet of the Apes", it has camp moments, but is mostly just clichéd and boring with an anti climax that's disappointing and uninspired.

There is no Kong. There is no island.

[BandSAboutMovies · 3/10 · 8 November 2023]

I love this movie because I know that it upset people so much. It was titled King of Kong Island and there's no King Kong, there's barely an island and it's so Italian that you know that I was yelling things in pure joy throughout the entire movie. Eva, la Venere selvaggia didn't even know that in America people expected it to be something it couldn't be.

Albert Muller (Marc Lawrence, the man who would make Pigs) is putting radios into the heads of gorillas to control them. These apes kidnap Diana (Ursula Davis, An Angel for Satan, Crypt of the Vampire) and Burt Dawson (Brad Harris) attempts to save her before being abducted by natives who are led by a white girl because that's how movies work.

She's Eva (Esmeralda Barros, God Is My Colt 45) and she doesn't fall in love with Burt. No, she's just kind of there. He's into Diana. I'm also making this sound way more action-filled than it is because it's packed with long moments of talking yet the beat up print and fuzzy noises that approximate a soundtrack on the Mill Creek box set that I viewed this on made me feel like I was lying in a sleeping bag with my feet under a warm old Zenith TV as a kid and I had no responsibility or anywhere to be.

Director Roberto Mauri also made He Was Called Holy Ghost.

THE UNCUT VERSION IS THE ONLY ONE WORTH WATCHING

[larryanderson · 8/10 · 3 July 2022]

I first saw this on TV in the 1970s as I was a big fan of Brad Harris. OK story about a mad scientist controlling gorillas to do his bidding but no real umpf to the story. Then I saw the Spanish version with all the nude scenes that were cut out of the TV version. Esmeralda Barros running naked through the jungle was stunning. (She unfortunately died after a long illness at only 75). Also, when Ursula takes her bath in the movie, we see a bit of her naked back, but I have magazine photos of her standing naked facing forward. So that was cut out and never seen in any version. Brad Harris plays a tough guy out for revenge against his crew who betrayed him. Good adventure fun. There are versions on Y/T and at least 5 others on DVD.

Awwwww Come On, It's Not THAT Bad!

[Steve_Nyland · 7/10 · 7 April 2009]

Seriously, I have a soft spot for KONG ISLAND, and the only people who might be so violently opposed to it would have to be stupid enough to take it seriously. This was a cheap, trippy, low budget Italian exploitation film made before Italian exploitation films were all the rage. Sure, it dared to evoke the mighty name of Kong, and it is all mighty silly once you get down to brass tacks, but so what? This is a Jungal Trash movie about white Anglos going to darkest Africa to have all sorts of fascinating adventures while the natives carry the luggage. Anyone expecting anything else is seriously wasting their time.

Muscleman turned 60s matinée idol Brad Harris manages to keep a straight face as he plays a former mercenary double crossed by creepy Mark Lawrence (yes, Mark Lawrence) who intends to take all the loot from a diamond mine payroll heist to -- and I am not making this up -- create a master race of superhuman gorillas radio controlled by brain implants to do his evil bidding. Which involves kidnapping various scantily clad supporting actresses for purposes that the English language version never bothers to explain.

And right here we have to stop and do a little Italian genre film 101 for the newcomers: If you've seen the cut, bleached out, nappy looking fullscreen English version circulating on various bargain bin DVD sets, you haven't even seen half of this film. That's a TV print that's been shorn of any content that 1970s era television wouldn't tolerate, such as nudity. Italians usually made two versions of their films, a somewhat tamer version for export that would be translated to English, and then an Italian language print with no holds barred.

The highlight of the film in it's uncensored form are extended sequences of Euro horror boob babe Esmeralda Barros (THE DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT) prancing around the jungle wearing nigh but a leather kerchief around her waist, which manages to get lost in time for the big finale where she goes stark naked. A nudity-friendly export print with Greek subtitles is available on the Retromedia DVD which runs a full seven minutes longer than the standard English travesty, and then there's an insanely rare Italian language print that even clocks the Greek version by a couple minutes with some extra safari scenes thrown in to establish plot.

It's a quirky, goofy, lunkheaded film for sure. But to the initiated it's a pleasure to see, with a dreamy psychedelic music score by Roberto Pregadio, a veteran Italian genre film supporting cast led by curvy Adriana Alben, pretty Ursula Davis, sneering Paolo Magalotti, and Mark Farran. The film was written by Euro horror favorites Walter Brandi (BLOODY PIT OF HORROR), his frequent collaborator Ralph Zucker (BLOODY PIT OF HORROR, THE DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT) and directed by spaghetti western regular Roberto Mauri. His frequent star Brad Harris executive produced, and all of it is "presented by" schlock cinema maestro Dick Randall.

If you take it seriously you're missing the point, and if you get all bent out of shape watching movies about radio controlled gorillas kidnapping Italian B movie actresses in their underwear you have nobody but yourself to blame for wasting your time on it. But please, make sure you at least track down one of the prints with the nudity. For now that means the Retromedia DVD which isn't hard to find.

7/10, for being so lovably goofy.

lol.

[pellenase · 1/10 · 25 March 2006]

This is bad.

Horror? No.

Funny? No.

Drama? No.

Garbage? Well, I'll take it out, dear.

So bad its good? No. Its worse.

Ever had guests that never leave? You invited to a party, 26 hours ago, and some snort-heads are still on their way up, you wanna sleep, but you know that you'll wake up with a bottle of Absolute or something stuck up your ass if you fall asleep.... and you just cant take anymore.

WELL! This stinker is your solution: -Hey guys, I've got a really fat movie here, just let me turn down that music, and... find my VCR.

They don't just leave, they'll run. And they'll never come back.

Its impossible to watch this... thing. Its so bad its fascinating, I think the best liner is: We'll make camp here. But don't make any fire. And thats not a killer line...

Don't watch it, but if you can, buy it. It can be useful, as a part of an anti-thief system, even the police will give up and run...

1 is the bottom line, OK. If I could give it a -10.... No. Just leave it there. Its a ... cant find the words. I guess Satan took them with him when he fell down there. And some nut-heads still thinks plan 9 is the worst movie ever? This is worse than Jacksons King Kong! And Woooah, thats ugly...

Gorilla Suit Madness

[Crap_Connoisseur · 3 August 2006]

King Of Kong Island is a confusing piece of B-grade garbage that is saved from being completely unwatchable by the hilarious gorilla effects and a couple of unintentionally hilarious plot twists. The strangest thing about this movie is its absolute incoherence; subplots arise from nowhere and characters behave with all the logic of intoxicated Lemmings. King Of Kong Island is definitely an acquired taste.

Roberto Mauri's film could possess one of the most ridiculous plots in movie history. This crap makes "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" seem entirely plausible by comparison. Basically, our hero Burt is shot and returns to Africa to find the man responsible. In addition to finding the time for some dubious psychedelic dancing, Burt also manages to fall in love with Diana. Unfortunately, Diana is kidnapped by a group deranged mountain gorillas and Burt is called on to rescue her. If the concept of brainwashed gorillas is not far fetched enough, Mauri throws in a completely random subplot about a wild woman called Eva, who lives in the jungle and converses with animals. Eva is a brazen attempt to throw in some eye candy and inject some much needed sleaze into the fairly tame proceedings. Eva leads Burt to Diana, who is being held captive in a secret lair by a mad scientist.

King Of Kong Island is really not a film that is overly concerned with the smaller details. The gorilla effects literally consist of people wearing poorly made gorilla suits. Diana's kidnapping is hilarious due to the painfully obvious gorilla masks and gloves. Mauri's inattention to detail is further noticeable in the fact that for a "wild" woman, Eva has rather lovely hair and make-up. I pretty much expect (and hope for) poor special effects and ridiculous plot developments in a Roberto Mauri crap epic. However, King Of Kong Island is sloppy to an extent that makes it basically impossible to follow. The film has also dated in the worst possible way. The treatment of the local population as "slaves" is distasteful and Burt's pseudo-comedic groping of Eva is jarring. Thankfully, there are enough stupid gorillas and crazy pieces of 1960s "technology" in the scientist's lair to overlook the general incompetence.

The film does have some impressive qualities. The jungle disco score is excellent, the film provides B-grade icon Brad Harris with a rare starring vehicle and Esmeralda Barros makes an alluring wild woman. King Of Kong Island is a complete mess, but it is a mess worth wading through for fans of this genre. If nothing else, see it for the spectacularly unconvincing gorillas.

An extremely dreary and forgettable clunker

[Woodyanders · 2/10 · 5 July 2008]

Veteran character actor Marc Lawrence stars as your basic evil scientist who creates a dangerous, murderous, not-to-be-trifled race of robotic killer gorilla slaves. Lawrence's plans to overthrow the world are thwarted by a musclebound lunk (stolidly played by former Hercules Brad Harris, who shows off his brawny chest as often as possible) who's ventured into the doc's remote corner of the jungle in order to rescue some beautiful gal Lawrence has abducted. Seedy, grim, slow and humorless, with only the lovely presence of bodacious jungle babe Esmeralda Barros walking around mostly nude and the sporadic cheeseball gorilla gore effects offering any slight relief from Roger Morris' static direction, a drab, talk-heavy script, uniformly stiff acting from an understandably uninspired cast, tatty production values, inert pacing, pathetically crummy and unconvincing ape suits, and a general air of ponderous, unrelenting tedium, this flick overall sizes up as a sleep-inducing dead slug of a stinker.

Badly Dubbed, Badly Acted, Badly Photographed, Badly Titled!

[mark.waltz · 2/10 · 5 March 2014]

There is no King Kong, just a bunch of apes/gorillas/simians (whatever you want to call them) running around with what appears to be a magic bullet in their brain that puts them under the control of a mad scientist. Been there done that with all the Bela Lugosi/John Carradine/Boris Karloff (etc) mad scientist thrillers of the 1940's and 50's. This makes "Bride of the Gorilla" look like "King Kong" the original in comparison. There aren't even occasional unintentional laughs in this violent jungle thriller where obvious location footage (a la Ed Wood) is thrown in to pad out the running time to extra-ordinary length. Even on a drive-in screen, this would look cheap (especially when compared to the usual cheap crap audiences who did go to the movies to watch a feature) and certainly not at all romantic for those who went on dates. The men are rather abusive to the women here, treating them like the orangutans and gorillas of "Planet of the Apes" treated humans. This isn't even good/bad enough to warrant a mention or inclusion in the documentary about bad movies, "It Came From Hollywood". Call this one, "It came from someone's back yard" or "It came from someone's vacation footage", but don't call this one "worth repeating". Once was more than enough.

Groovy moves Brad.

[BA_Harrison · 3/10 · 6 May 2018]

From legendary exploitation producer Dick Randall, jungle adventure King of Kong Island starts off in suitably trashy fashion, but quickly loses momentum when it becomes evident that there isn't nearly enough plot to support a full length feature.

The film begins as a group of armed robbers ambush a payroll. Instead of splitting the $300K haul, Albert Muller (Marc Lawrence) betrays his comrades, shooting them all and making off with the loot. However, one of the men, Burt (played by peplum muscleman Brad Harris), is still alive, and, after recuperating, goes looking for revenge. Meanwhile, Albert is conducting experiments on gorillas, inserting AA batteries into their skulls in order to make them obedient slaves.

When I tell you that the highlight of the whole movie is an early scene in a nightclub, where Brad Harris shows off his hilarious dance moves (he nods his head a lot and occasionally claps his hands), that might give some idea of just how tedious everything else is. There's loads of aimless wandering around the jungle (with the usual stock footage of animals to pad out proceedings), Brad gets shirtless to appease fans of his ripped bod, a nearly naked jungle woman preserves her modesty with her strategically placed hair, and we get a few men in really manky gorilla costumes; all of this is executed with zero flair, looks incredibly cheap, and moves at a sluggish pace.

I have a pretty high tolerance for low budget schlock, but found this one quite a chore to watch.

Complete garbage but compulsively watchable

[smittie-1 · 3/10 · 1 June 2011]

A trashy Italian jungle adventure, with a mad scientist implanting radios into gorillas' brains, so they will do his bidding. The film is sleazy and slow, a kind of scummy imprint of White Africa in the age of decolonization. The bureaucrats have fled the continent, and all who are left are the mercs, the drunks, and the cranks. Too many scenes in a dive bar, too much footage from big game hunts, no point in the end. A perfect nihilistic Z movie.

Any nudity has been edited out of the American cut, making this trashy film even more pointless. The film is still plenty sleazy, though. Everyone sweats and snarls their way across the frame, and each new location looks grimier than the last. I think I caught beri beri just watching this movie.

And yet, the whole time, I was happy. I was entertained. There is nothing so sweet as a movie that plays completely beyond the bounds of good taste. A movie that DARES you to watch.

It deserves its rotten, budget DVD presentation.

Guns! Girls! Gorillas!

[wes-connors · 2/10 · 21 February 2010]

"A diabolical team of scientists land on 'Kong Island' determined to implant devices into the brains of the gorilla population that will transform them into an unstoppable army. Their plan for world domination runs off the tracks when a descendant of 'King Kong' arrives and the mayhem begins," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis. The promised "descendant" of King Kong never arrived, at least not in my copy of this film.

Alternately dubbed "Kong Island" or "King of Kong Island" for English language listeners, this cheap Italian production includes gunfire, two gorillas, plus three sexy women: topless "savage girl" Esmerelda Barros (as Eva), bikini clad Adriana Alben (as Ursula), and leggy Ursula Davis (as Diana). Star Brad Harris (as Burt) shows off his chest, too. Tune in to see how all this, with kidnapping and simian surgery, is made dull.

** Eva, la Venere selvaggia (9/29/68) Roberto Mauri ~ Brad Harris, Marc Lawrence, Esmerelda Barros, Ursula Davis

Sleep-inducing "adventure"

[gridoon2024 · 2/10 · 2 August 2019]

Incredibly boring jungle film at least comes up with a good excuse for having its drooling gorillas played by men in suits (despite the English title, these beasts are of the normal-sized variety), but when the gorillas are off the screen, which is like 90% of the time, all that's left is padding with endless walking scenes and stock footage of wild animals. Amusingly, the traditional female shower scene is replaced here by musclebound Brad Harris taking a shirtless river bath! 0.5 out of 4 stars.

What did I just watch?

[mhorg2018 · 1/10 · 26 September 2016]

This is a real piece of garbage. The Mill Creek version is nearly unwatchable, the print is so bad. I don't see anything remastering this Italian mess for a long time. Take a revenge minded guy searching for his betrayer, mad scientists doing experiments on Gorillas (really the gentlest of the great apes, next to Orangutans, Chimps would be a much better choice), add in a topless girl raised by apes (Tarzan she isn't) and what do you have? A real mess that I can hardly admit to watching. Just a really crummy movie. Barely above say, The Creeping Terror (which at least made me laugh) or Manos, the Hands of Fate. For the curiosity seeker only. I'm surprised this hasn't shown up on Svengoolie. As another reviewer said, "No Kong, No Island,", I'll add "No movie!"

The King of Bad Movies!

[Hungus-2 · 10/10 · 11 February 1999]

I have seen the movie. Don't ask me why, how or when. "Plan 9 from outer space", watch out, cus' here comes the worst movie of all time. Hilariously bad music, bad acting and basically a very bad idea. For making me and my friends laugh, I'll give it a 10! (Watch out for that catchy title tune!)

Halfway decent B-movie rates a 6.

[vitaleralphlouis · 6/10 · 28 October 2008]

This 40 year old B-movie has absolutely nothing to do with either King Kong (1933) the greatest adventure movie ever made, or with the Skull Mountain featured therein. It DOES have two or three guys in gorilla costumes causing mucho trouble under the influence of a mad scientist.

Besides that, it offers a halfway decent plot, lots of African wildlife shots, and three very pretty young women for us guys to gawk at. For the girls, both the hero and the bad guy are handsome and will show off enough bare chest to keep the females happy. What it DOES NOT have is anything to irritate the audience.....

.... which brings me to compare it to Peter Jackson's $150 million 2006 gorilla movie, wherein Jackson spent tons of money to make the most stupid adventure movie ever in history, and thus irritated this moviegoer to the boiling point.

In 1968, filmmakers knew that it did not take $ millions to make a good movie. In the post-2000 era, filmmakers have forgotten that fact, and we the audience suffer their mistakes. Kong Island is offered as a bonus second feature with the 1932 classic The Most Dangerous Game on DVD. The DVD is available with or without Kong Island. Take it with.

Gorilla Warfare

[Aegelis · 5/10 · 2 January 2021]

Quite campy, sure, with terribly cliche' dialogue. 60's music abound, some old national geographic footage, and rather slow moments up until the end. Good news is, the end does cause quite a fiasco, like the apex of a Scooby Doo cartoon. Mix in some of that classic Star Trek and a dash of James Bond swing for good measure.

The mess at the finale was almost worth the wait with all personal motivations revealed. As absurd as the sci-fi element may have sounded at the time of making the film, we're probably not that far away from this sort of concept with current science.

Not an enriching experience, but also not sorry for the hour and ten minutes duration.