The Three Stooges Go Around the World in a Daze (1963)

Moe Howard: Moe

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Larry comes in with a waterlogged newspaper and hands it to Moe] 

  Larry : They left it in the swimming pool today.

  Moe : Oh, I see. The tadpole edition.

  Larry : Yeah, the tadpole edi...

  [Moe whaps Larry with the paper] 

  Moe : That's for now. Remind me to kill you later.

• Phileas Fogg III : Moe, about how long would you say I've been having kippers for breakfast?

  Moe : Man and boy, I'd say we've been eating our kippers every day for, it must be 11 years, sir.

  Phileas Fogg III : Time for a change. Starting tomorrow, I'd like sausages.

  Moe : Oh, those ugly little brown - SAUSAGES?

• Larry : Oh, boy! We're going around the world on our wits!

  Moe : With your wits, you won't get past the front door.

• [tootling on horn to entice a snake out of its jar] 

  Larry : [frustrated]  He don't like my music.

  Moe : He's not supposed to like it. He's gotta hate it. Then he comes out, sees you, goes out of his mind, and while he's out, I clobber him.

• Moe : His pistol record is

  [mumbling] 

  Moe : shots out of a possible 300.

  Curly-Joe : That's without bullets.

• Moe : The rajah says that at this time he will throw the razor-edged daggers at random.

  Larry : Random? Get him up here. Hey, Randy, come on.

  Moe : [glowering at Larry]  Pardon me, Mister Random.

• Larry : You don't think I'm going to let that blind bat throw knives at me, do you?

  Moe : Blind bat? Why, he can see better than you can and I can prove it.

  Larry : Well, you better prove it.

  [picks up large round tray and holds it up to Curly-Joe's eyes] 

  Moe : Maha.

  Curly-Joe : [peers in opposite direction]  Aha?

  Moe : Rajah!

  [Curly-Joe turns around and stares closely at tray] 

  Moe : What is this?

  Curly-Joe : Half a dollar.

  Larry : You're right. I thought it was a dime.

• Moe : If you keep on trying, you'll always have a chance.

  Larry : Yeah, and we'll starve to death in the meantime.

• Larry : I had the brains to steal this from the Duke's palace next door.

  [pulls fresh newspaper from coat] 

  Larry : You thought I was stupid, didn't ya?

  Moe : Now I'm sure of it.

• [Curly-Joe opens door just as Moe is coming through; there is a spectacular crash of breakfast dishes and cutlery] 

  Curly-Joe : I'm sorry, Moe. The door swung and all the dishes broke.

  Moe : Well, don't distress yourself, lad. You didn't break everything.

  Curly-Joe : I didn't?

  Moe : [Holds up an intact plate]  Here's one you missed.

  Curly-Joe : Hey!

  [Moe breaks it over his head] 

• [the Three Stooges are trying to convince Phileas to take them with him] 

  Moe : Who's going to lay out your day togs for daywear?

  Moe : And your night togs for nightmares?

• [Amelia is using the back of a frying pan as a mirror while Phileas plots their course] 

  Phileas Fogg III : Now, owing to monsoons at this time of year, we may have trouble getting across this bridge. It could be completely under water.

  Curly-Joe : Don't worry, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

  Moe : [chuckling]  Pardon me, may I have the mirror?

  Amelia Carter : Why, certainly.

  Moe : You know, a sharp crack deserves a sharp answer.

  Curly-Joe : Yeah.

  [Moe whaps Curly-Joe with pan] 

• Moe : We are official bodyguards. Also double as man Friday.

  Larry : And Saturday.

• Moe : The rajah says that he will, without the aid of a telescope, shoot a raisin from the top of this gentleman's head.

  Larry : Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it. Shoot *what* raisin from *which* gentleman's head?

  Moe : Oh, pardon me for calling you a gentleman, sir.

• [Curly-Joe's thrown knife grazes Larry's fake mustache] 

  Moe : Missed that.

  Curly-Joe : Missed that? Impossible!

  Larry : Missed that? What is he aiming at?

  Moe : You'll find out.

• [Guards are roughing up Curly-Joe] 

  Moe : Wait a minute. You're gonna hit a man with glasses?

  Curly-Joe : [gratefully, as guards pause]  Yeah!

  Moe : [takes away glasses]  Go ahead!

• [Everyone is under arrest for stowing away in the back of a truck] 

  Moe : Four days directly to New York. And here we are, thanks to you.

  Larry : You don't have to thank me.

• [after a prolonged fight in the dark where everyone keeps hitting the wrong people before finally knocking out the bad guys] 

  Moe : I knew you'd get the right ones if you kept on swinging.

• Moe : [in re Itchi Kitchi]  That's not a man! That's a committee!

• Curly-Joe : [Cavendish and Filch abduct Fogg, Amelia and the Inspector at gunpoint and push the Stooges out of the paddywagon, then speed off]  Hey - have I flipped, or are they the same two cops we saw at the maharajah's palace?

  Larry : They get around faster than we do!

  Moe : I smell a rat!