Don't Throw That Knife (1951)
Moe Howard: Moe
Quotes
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Moe : [Shemp and Larry are pretending to be a couple] Good morning what is your name please?
Shemp : Shempena Howard.
Moe : Well married or single?
Shemp : Married and this is my husband, the rat.
Larry : Cut it out.
Moe : Tell me Sir, have you any children?
Larry : [Larry counts his fingers] No children.
Moe : Where were you born, madam?
Shemp : In the hospital.
Moe : Hospital?
Shemp : Yes, I want to be near my mother.
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Moe : Remember, we're census takers, not ordinary idiots.
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Larry : What does your husband do?
Lucy Wyckoff : He's an expert in legerdemain.
Larry : Legerdemain. Oh, a bookkeeper.
Lucy Wyckoff : No, he's a prestidigitator.
Shemp : Oh, a pants presser?
Moe : Are you guys ignorant? Didn't you hear the lady say? He presses refrigerators.
Lucy Wyckoff : No, no, no. We do an illusion act in vaudeville. He's a magician. He makes things disappear.
Shemp : I got an uncle who can make things disappear.
Moe : Is he a magician?
Shemp : No, he's a kleptomaniac.