Victoria Horne credited as playing...
Myrtle Mae Simmons
- Wilson: I'll tell you something, Myrt.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Yeah?
- Wilson: You know, you not only got a nice build, but you got something else, too.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Really? What?
- Wilson: You got the screwiest uncle that ever stuck his puss inside our nuthouse.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Oh, mother, people get run over by trucks every day. Why can't something like that happen to Uncle Elwood?
- Elwood P. Dowd: Well, I think this calls for a celebration! Why don't we all go down to Charlie's Place and have a drink?
- Veta Louise Simmons: You're not going anywhere, Elwood. You're staying right here.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Yes, Uncle Elwood.
- Judge Gaffney: Stay here, son.
- Elwood P. Dowd: I plan to leave, you want me to stay. Oh, an element of conflict in any discussion is a very good thing. It shows everybody is taking part and nobody is left out. I like that.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Mother, why did grandmother leave all of her property to Uncle Elwood?
- Veta Louise Simmons: I suppose it was because she died in his arms. People are sentimental about things like that.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Oh, mother, why can't we live like other people.
- Veta Louise Simmons: Myrtle Mae, do I have to keep reminding you? Your Uncle Elwood is not living with us, we're living with him.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Living with him and his pal!
- Veta Louise Simmons: You promised.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: His pal Harvey!
- Veta Louise Simmons: You said that name! You promised you wouldn't say that name and you said it.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Who'd want me?
- Veta Louise Simmons: Oh, Mrytle, dear, you're sweet! And you have so much to offer. I don't care what anyone says, there's something sweet about every young girl. And a man takes that sweetness and look what he does with it. Oh, show some poise dear!
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: [Myrtle Mae and Wilson are flirting] Would you like a ham and rye?
- Wilson: How 'bout an egg and onion?
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: I'd love to make you an egg and onion. The eggs and onions are waiting for you in the kitchen. Suppose we go in the kitchen Mr. Wilson? You can relax and be yourself in there. Do you like your work Mr. Wilson?
- Wilson: Oh, I do now Myrtle, I do now.
- [they disappear into the kitchen and Myrtle Mae goes "Eek!"]
- Wilson: You know, if we grab your uncle, you'll probably be coming out to the sanatorium on visitin' days.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Oh, really? I don't know, I...
- Wilson: Well, if you do, I'll be there.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: You will?
- Wilson: If you don't see me right away, stick around for a little while, I'll show up.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: You haven't finished your egg and onion.
- Wilson: Business before pleasure honey, even if it's the pleasure of being with you. You make a great egg and onion kid, a great egg and onion.
- Dr. Chumley: [the doctor enters and find Wilson] What are you eating?
- Wilson: An egg and onion sandwich.
- Dr. Chumley: How can you think of food at a time like this?
- Judge Gaffney: What'd he do, Veta?
- Veta Louise Simmons: He took me upstairs and he tore my clothes off!
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Oh, did you hear that Judge? Go on, Mother.
- Veta Louise Simmons: And then he dumped me down in a tub of water.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Oh, for heaven's sake.
- Myrtle Mae Simmons: Why did you send him away! Some people can certainly pick the best times to keep other people from becoming acquainted!