Moe Howard credited as playing...
Moe
- Moe: Hey, spinach chin, do you mean to tell me that you're only a doorman?
- Hassan Ben Soba: [tearfully] Yes!
- Shemp: Well, there's the door, man.
- Moe: [to Hassen Ben Soba and Ginna Rumma] What'll you have?
- Hassan Ben Soba: We want...
- Moe: [cutting him off] We don't have any more.
- Larry: All we got left are rabbit and hot dogs.
- Hassan Ben Soba: Rabbit.
- Ginna Rumma: Hot dogs.
- Larry: Hot dog, they'll take rabbit.
- Hassan Ben Soba: [to Shemp, getting up and pointing to his chair] Sit down!
- Shemp: Oh, but I'm not tired, I'll just stand while you eat.
- Hassan Ben Soba: [pulls out his dagger] Sit down with your hands on or off!
- Moe: Y-you talked us into it.
- Guard outside palace: Hark! Who goes there?
- Moe, Larry and Shemp (together): Santa Claus!
- Guard outside palace: Ah, there ain't no Santa Claus.
- Shemp: [as all three of them get out and open their bag] Oh, yes, there is, and we've got a present for you.
- Guard outside palace: You have?
- Moe: Yeah, right here!
- [hits the guard over the head and he falls into the bag unconscious]
- Moe: [after showing us the map briefly, he narrates while pointing and tracing with one of the daggers] We start here at Jerkola, down the Insane River, over the Giva Dam, through Pushover, across Schmowland, to the Stronghold of Schmow.
- Hassan Ben Soba: I am Hassan Ben Soba.
- Shemp: I had a few too many myself.
- [chuckles]
- Moe: Quiet!
- [throws a handful of spaghetti in Shemp's face]
- Ginna Rumma: [after Shemp knocks a plate of spaghetti on him] Take this off! Take this off!
- Moe: [cleaning off Hasan Ben Soba] Now, take it easy. We'll have you all fixed up in a minute. What's this?
- [pulling out a cupcake with a lit candle]
- Moe: Oh, happy birthday!
- Shemp: [handing Ginna a plate] Hold this.
- [taking out a pair of scissors]
- Shemp: Just a minute, I'll take it right off. I would leave it on. People don't know if you're coming or going with this on.
- [cutting the spagetti like a barber]
- Shemp: There you are, sir. You look very pretty, and the spaghetti is as good as new.
- Shemp: [cleaning up Ginna Rumma, who has a bowl of spaghetti noodles over his face] Hold this. Just a minute, I'll take it right off. I would leave it on; people don't know if you're coming or going with this on.
- Shemp: [trims the spaghetti away from Ginna Rumma's face] There you are, sir. You look very pretty, and the spaghetti is as good as new.
- Ginna Rumma: Why, you...!
- [draws a dagger, preparing to attack Shemp]
- Shemp: Whoa! Whoa, whoa...
- Hassan Ben Soba: Dog of dogs! How dare you!
- [draws out a dagger]
- Larry: A thousand pardons! It was unavoidable!
- Moe: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! This would degrade you.
- Hassan Ben Soba: It's true; I am an aristocrat! I am Hassan ben Sobar!
- Shemp: I had a few too many myself!
- [laughs; Moe throws spaghetti at Shemp's face]
- Moe: Quiet! We gotta clean up this mess!