The Noose Hangs High (1948)
Bud Abbott: Ted Higgins
Quotes
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Ted Higgins : What makes you so dumb?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : It just comes naturally.
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Ted Higgins : I'd like to have a tooth pulled. I want no anesthetic and I don't care how much it hurts.
Dentist's Assistant : Oh my, what a brave man you are! What tooth is it?
Ted Higgins : [turns to Tommy] Show her the tooth.
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Ted Higgins : I'm always nervous when I handle money.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : I'm always nervous when I don't handle it.
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Ted Higgins : We're as honest as the day is long.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : That includes Daylight Savings.
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Ted Higgins : You take the money. They'd never suspect you.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : I don't want the money. I'd only spend it on silly things.
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Ted Higgins : Is she in the living room?
Hilda, the Maid : No. She's indisposed.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : [starts pushing his way in] We'll see her in there.
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Ted Higgins : What if you had 5 dollars in one pant's pocket and 10 dollars in the other pants pocket. What would you have?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Someone else's pants.
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Tommy Hinchcliffe : I like worcester shire sheer shauce.
Ted Higgins : You like what?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Wooster sheer shire sauce.
Ted Higgins : You like worcestershire sheershire shauce?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : You can't even say it!
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Tommy Hinchcliffe : Look at that wall over there. Isn't that a beautiful wall? You know what it reminds me of?
Ted Higgins : What?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : [points at a different wall] That wall over here.
Ted Higgins : Oh stop. Walls are walls.
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Ted Higgins : You don't even know what a husband is!
Tommy Hinchcliffe : A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.
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Tommy Hinchcliffe : 20 thousand laws in this city and we can't find one to break.
Ted Higgins : Now don't get excited, Tommy. I'll get you out of this mess and get you in jail.
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Ted Higgins : We'll bet on Lolly at 30 to 1.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : 30 to 1? How can we do that? It's already quarter to!