Fun and Fancy Free (1947)

Luana Patten: Luana

Photos 

Quotes 

• Willie the Giant : [lifts the roof off of Edgar Bergen's house]  Hey, has anybody seen anything of a teensy-weensy, little mouse?

  Edgar Bergen : No, I-I-I...

  [faints] 

  Luana Patten : Oh, Mr. Bergen!

  Charlie McCarthy : Bergen, speak to me! Speak to me!

  Willie the Giant : What's the matter with him? Something he ate?

  Mortimer Snerd : No, it's uh, it's a fig... fig... figmentation of his imagination.

  Willie the Giant : No!

  Mortimer Snerd : Yeah. Well, good night, Willie. Don't slam the roof. You might wake Mr. Bergen.

  [laughs] 

• Luana Patten : But why did the giant want to steal the harp?

  Edgar Bergen : Because he was cruel and selfish. He didn't care what happened to the valley. He just wanted someone to sing him to sleep.

  Mortimer Snerd : Well, why didn't he turn on the radio?

  Edgar Bergen : Well, they didn't have radios in those days.

  Charlie McCarthy : Yeah. That's why they called it Happy Valley.

• Edgar Bergen : Well, what shall we do now? Any suggestions?

  Charlie McCarthy : How would you like to go down to the city dump and watch me slug rats?

  Edgar Bergen : Certainly not. How would you like to hear me tell a story?

  Luana Patten : Oh, I'd love it. Wouldn't you, Charlie?

  Charlie McCarthy : Well, I, uh... no.

  Edgar Bergen : This is a story that everyone should know.

  Charlie McCarthy : Yes, but not everyone should tell it, and you know who.

  Edgar Bergen : I'm going to tell it anyway. Now, many, many years ago...

  Charlie McCarthy : I think I'll go out and wind the sundial.

  [tries to get up and leave, but Bergen stops him] 

  Edgar Bergen : You'll stay right here.

• Edgar Bergen : Now, Luana, how would you like another piece of cake or some ice cream?

  Luana Patten : No, thank you. I'm full up.

  Edgar Bergen : Some candy?

  Charlie McCarthy : Care for a cigar?

  Luana Patten : Me?

  [everyone laughs] 

  Edgar Bergen : How about you, Mortimer?

  Mortimer Snerd : Uh... I don't smoke.

  Edgar Bergen : I don't mean that.

• Charlie McCarthy : Well, Donald may be nuts, but he's got the right idea. Kill the cow.

  Luana Patten : Oh, no, Charlie! The cow was their best friend.

  Charlie McCarthy : Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

  Edgar Bergen : So what?

  Charlie McCarthy : So, they need some steak.

  Mortimer Snerd : No! If you're gonna kill the cow, I don't wanna hear the rest of the story!

• [Willie is sniffing around his table while Mickey and the others are trying to avoid getting caught] 

  Charlie McCarthy : Hey, giant! You're getting warm!

  Mortimer Snerd : Well, don't tell him!

  Charlie McCarthy : Behind the jar, stupid!

  Luana Patten : Charlie!

• Luana Patten : What happened to all the people?

  Edgar Bergen : Well, suppose we look in on these humble peasants.

  Mortimer Snerd : Is that a peasant?

  Charlie McCarthy : That's a cow, stupid.

  Luana Patten : Well, at least they had milk.

  Edgar Bergen : Well, she used to be a good milker, but now...

  Charlie McCarthy : She's an udder failure.

  Edgar Bergen : She was the bosom friend of a once proud family.

  Charlie McCarthy : Well, they're certainly out of the high rent district.

• Luana Patten : What did the giant look like?

  Edgar Bergen : Well, he was, oh... I'll try and show you.

  [He turns on a lamp and aims it at the wall] 

  Edgar Bergen : He looked something like this.

  [Makes a shadow puppet of a pig] 

  Mortimer Snerd : Looks like my pig, Snedly.

  Charlie McCarthy : Never mind the self-portraits.

  Edgar Bergen : Well, no, that isn't right. He looked more like... More like this.

  [Makes shadow puppet of Willie the Giant] 

  Edgar Bergen : There he is now. And the giant came home for dinner, roaring...

  Charlie McCarthy : [Steps in front of spotlight]  ... drunk.

  Edgar Bergen : [as Willie]  I was not!

  Edgar Bergen : [Normal]  I mean, he was not.

  Edgar Bergen : [as Willie]  No.

  Edgar Bergen : Down the castle hall he came, roaring..."Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!"

• Luana Patten : Isn't that a wonderful trick?

  Charlie McCarthy : Yes, indeed. Yes. I wish I could enjoy my first childhood as much as he enjoys his second.

• Mickey Mouse : How'd you get here?

  Singing Harp : I was kidnapped by that wicked giant!

  Mickey Mouse : Oh. What? A giant?

  Mortimer Snerd : A giant?

  Luana Patten : A giant?

  Jiminy Cricket : A giant?

  Edgar Bergen : Bigger than forty men!

  Mortimer Snerd : Oh, no!

  Edgar Bergen : An ogre who had the power to turn himself into anything, man or beast!

  Jiminy Cricket : That calls for a drink!

• Ophelia : Well, good night, Luana.

  Luana Patten : Good night, Ophelia.

  Ophelia : Bonne nuit, Mortimer.

  Mortimer Snerd : Uh... ma'am?

  Ophelia : Bonne nuit.

  Mortimer Snerd : Oh, yes, ma'am. Yeah, yeah. Bunny. Uh bunny, bunny wee, bunny wee. Bun-Uh... uh, I don't know no bunny wee.

• Charlie McCarthy : Well, she wouldn't have to know. They could sneak up on her hand surprise her. Yes, that's what we'll do. We'll kill the cow.

  Luana Patten : Oh no, Charlie! You mustn't!

  Charlie McCarthy : Yeah, we'll get a stranglehold on her while she's asleep and then push her off a cliff!

  Luana Patten : Oh no!

  Mortimer Snerd : I ain't gonna listen to the story!

• Luana Patten : Ooh, dragonflies!

  Charlie McCarthy : Yeah. A-flyin' front and draggin' behind.

• Edgar Bergen : Poor Mickey. Cheated into trading his cow for a handful of beans. What a mean trick. Swindling an innocent farmer out of all he owned and lying to him telling him that the beans were magic. Planted in the light of a full moon. Ashamed to decieve a simple little peasant. Magic beans indeed. Light of a...

  Charlie McCarthy : Bergen! Bergen!

  Luana Patten : There's something moving!

  Edgar Bergen : Why, yes. Well, maybe there is some magic in them. Well, let's all keep quiet and see what happens.