Idiots Deluxe (1945)

Moe Howard: Moe

Quotes 

• [Curly is caught in bear trap, and Moe and Larry think the bear has got him] 

  Larry : Did you hear that? He's got him. He's got him.

  Moe : You want the bear to eat him alive? Go out there and help him.

  Larry : That bear don't need no help.

  Moe : What are you, a coward?

  Larry : Yes.

  Moe : Go on out and save him.

  Larry : I'll go, but my heart ain't in it.

• Curly : [thinking Moe is dead]  Poor Moe.

  Larry : Oh, woe is Moe.

  Moe : [comes up with an ax]  Oh, WOE is you!

  Larry : Whoa, Moe!

• Curly : Hey, did you see a trombone slide anyplace?

  Moe : Why, yes. Is this it?

  Curly : Yeah. Gimme it.

  Moe : You got it.

  [Curly and Larry moan and groan in pain as Moe ties it around their necks] 

  Moe : Now play it, you rats!

• Curly : You can take my word, Moe, I...

  Moe : Your word's no good. At least I'll get my rightful share of those potatoes.

  [seeing Larry eating and the plate empty] 

  Moe : Oh, another chisler, eh?

  [slapping him] 

  Moe : What's the matter with you?

  Larry : Wait a minute, I didn't do nothing.

  Moe : You didn't do nothing, eh? You ate everything but the platter.

• Moe : You worm! Where's your manners? Why didn't you leave me some of them eggs?

  Curly : I didn't touch 'em.

  Moe : Ah, shut up and don't make things worse. The next time a thing like that happens, I'll gouge your eyes out.

  Curly : But you can't...

  Moe : I'll tear your tonsils out. You ain't supposed to eat until we're all seated and everybody has an equal chance.

  Curly : Aw, shut up.

  [sticking out his tongue] 

  Curly : Mlehhh!

  Moe : [retrieving something from a shelf]  What'd you say?

  Curly : [sticking out his tongue again]  Mlehhh!

  Moe : [pouring salt on his tongue]  Now behave yourself.

• Judge : Were you ever indicted?

  Moe : Not since I was a baby, your honor.

• Judge : Mr. Moe, you're accused of assaulting your two roommates with intent to commit mayhem.

  Curly : You mean murder!

  Larry : Yeah, and he tried to kill us, too!

  Moe : [banging gavel]  QUIET!

• Moe : Quiet! Quiet!

  [to a cat] 

  Moe : Quit stomping around! Scat!

  [throws his ice pack at it, cat screeches] 

• Moe : [Curly accidentally spills spaghetti on him]  You're a nitwit, that's what you are! What's the matter with you?

  Curly : Hey Moe, there's a b-b-b-b-bear in the window.

  Moe : You're wacky. What do you mean a bear in the window? There's no bear around here.

  [Moe goes to the window and looks around; the bear growls and smacks him in the head] 

  Moe : Oh! Oh! Oh! You're right. There is a bear around here.

• Curly : How do you like the eggs?

  Moe : Sunny-side down. And don't turn 'em over.

• Moe : If there's anything I like better than honey and ketchup, it's bologna and whipped cream, and we haven't got any.

• Curly : [finding the bear's den]  He went in there.

  Moe : Well, go on after him. What's stopping you?

  Curly : The bear.

  Moe : Why, you...

  [he moves to eye-poke Curly, who blocks it with his gun] 

  Curly : Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

  Moe : [slapping him]  Go on!

• Curly : [after Larry shoots Moe, thinking he's a black bear]  Hey, what are you doing here? You look just like the bear.

  Moe : Shut up! Gimme that gun.

  Larry : I didn't do nothing...

  Moe : Shut up!

  [thrusting the butt on the ground, accidentally discharging it through the roof] 

  Moe : [a dead duck lands in front of them]  Boy, a duck!

  Curly : That's what I call hunting.

  Moe : [seeing him look through the hole in expectation]  What are you doing?

  Curly : Waitin' for the dressing and the cranberry sauce.

• Judge : This complaint states that you attacked the plaintiffs with this.

  [showing an ax] 

  Judge : State's exhibit "A". You admit this is your property, do you not?

  Moe : Well, Your Honor, do you mind if I look at it? You see, I had my name carved somewhere on the handle.

  [he accidentally hits the bailiff in the head] 

  Judge : A born killer, eh? Sit down!

  Moe : But, Your Honor, if you let me tell my side of the story...

  Judge : You mean you have something to say in extenuation?

  Moe : Oh, not that! No, no, not that, Your Honor.