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- Father Chuck O'Malley: [to Father Fitzgibbons as he goes to chip a golf shot out of a sand trap] Keep your head down now, father. And watch your language.
- Father Fitzgibbons: I'm sure that the way to say what I'd like to say will occur to me after you've gone.
- Father Fitzgibbons: Hope? You know, Chuck, when you're young, it's easy to keep the fires of hope burning bright. But at my age, you're lucky if the pilot light doesn't go out.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: Here, take this.
- [Gives a spoonful of medicine to Father Fitzgibbon]
- Father Chuck O'Malley: That'll keep the pilot light burning.
- Father Fitzgibbons: Yes, it ought to. Tastes like it has kerosene in it.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: [to Father Fitzgibbons as he goes to chip a golf shot out of a sand trap] Keep your head down now, father. And watch your language.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: Poor young Ted has been wounded in Africa.
- Father Fitzgibbons: Ah, too bad.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: They're shipping him home.
- Father Fitzgibbons: Fine, upstanding young fellow. Maybe they'll decorate him.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: Nnnno, I doubt it. Some friend of his ran over him in a jeep.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: 18? tut, tut As old as that? When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed at how much he learned in 3 years.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: Hail, Alma Mater, thy time-honored halls shall echo with our praise till we die; and round our hearts are the ivy-covered walls of East St. Louis High.
- Father Fitzgibbons: I gave them both my blessing.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: And they gave you the bird.
- Father Fitzgibbons: Yeah.
- Ted Haines Sr.: Son, never loan money to a church. As soon as you start to close in on them, everybody thinks you're a heel.
- Ted Haines Jr.: Well, aren't you?
- Ted Haines Sr.: Yeah.
- Ted Haines Sr.: Where have you been the last two weeks?
- Ted Haines Jr.: Well, dad, I've been in a blue heaven dancing on a pink cloud. She came in on a moonbeam.
- Ted Haines Sr.: That's a lie. I had you followed.
- Ted Haines Jr.: That wasn't cricket, dad. When you were my age, I didn't follow you around.
- Father Fitzgibbons: Well, did you make your parish calls.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: Oh, yes. Mrs. McGonigle's rheumatism is kicking up again. I told her to bury a potato in the back yard.
- Father Fitzgibbons: That's for warts.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: That's what she said.
- Ted Haines Jr.: He wants to tear down the church and make a parking lot out of it. Can you imagine it? He's a very disliked man. I'm sort of following in his footsteps.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: Junior, hmm?
- Ted Haines Jr.: Yeah.
- Father Fitzgibbons: You know how to manage these old fussbudgets. Take him out on the golf course. Bring him out in the fresh air.
- Father Chuck O'Malley: Mr. Haines is going to give us a mortgage to take care of the difference.
- Ted Haines Sr.: That's right, father. He convinced me I have a heart. And, after all, it wouldn't be a church without a mortgage.
- Father Fitzgibbons: That's right. That's right.
- Mrs. Carmody: [Father Fitzgibbons has been subjected to the boys singing Three Blind Mice repeatedly] It's no business of mine, father, but sometimes the things we do in haste are the things we most regret. Think it over a while, then if you really feel you must see the Bishop...
- Father Fitzgibbons: [obstinate] That I do!
- Mrs. Carmody: But the boys are much better off here than running the streets, I'm sure that was Father O'Malley's idea.
- Father Fitzgibbons: I'm a tolerant man, Mrs. Carmody, but there are some things that get under my skin, and Three Blind Mice is one of them!