Topper Returns (1941)
Roland Young: Cosmo Topper
Photos
Quotes
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Eddie, the Chauffeur : Pardon me, boss, but could I sort of inquire what we're going to the Carrington place for?
Cosmo Topper : To look for a body.
Eddie, the Chauffeur : Better look for one for me, too, 'cause the one I'm using now is numb.
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Sgt. Roberts : So you admit there is a body.
Cosmo Topper : Yes. I came over here to look for it.
Sgt. Roberts : Well, how did you know it was here?
Cosmo Topper : She told me.
Sgt. Roberts : She? Who's she?
Cosmo Topper : The dead girl.
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Sgt. Roberts : Why did you kill her?
Cosmo Topper : I didn't!
Sgt. Roberts : That's only ONE man's opinion.
Cosmo Topper : I can prove it.
Sgt. Roberts : How?
Cosmo Topper : Leave me alone in that room for a minute.
Sgt. Roberts : Ho-ho, I'm not THAT dumb.
Bob : Well, that's only one man's opinion, too.
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Cosmo Topper : Would you mind telling me where you ladies are taking me?
Ann Carrington : To the Carrington Estate.
Eddie, the Chauffeur : Uh-oh.
Ann Carrington : Is there anything wrong with the Carrington place?
Eddie, the Chauffeur : Yes, ma'am! If there wasn't anybody livin' there, it would be a haunted house.
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Clara Topper : I think its ridiculous for a man of your age to pursue young girls. What will the neighbors think?
Cosmo Topper : I didn't pursue them, Clara. They forced themselves on me.
Clara Topper : Don't be absurd! Imagine girls, pretty girls, forcing themselves on a paunchy, middle-aged man.
Cosmo Topper : Why, I don't think I'm paunchy.
Clara Topper : Don't try to change the subject! At least you might have waved to me when you went by!
Cosmo Topper : I've explained that, darling. I couldn't. That girl was sitting on my lap.
Clara Topper : I know she was! I warn you, Cosmo. If ever you do a thing like this again, I'm going back to Mama.
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Cosmo Topper : Well, I might be a little over weight. But, I'm certainly not paunchy! In fact, I'm in pretty good shape, for the shape I'm in. After all, I'm a banker - not a glamour boy.
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Cosmo Topper : Get out of my bed!
Gail Richards : I won't! Not unless you come with me.
Cosmo Topper : You get out of my bed or I'll tell Mrs. Topper.
Gail Richards : What will you tell her?
Cosmo Topper : I'll tell her you're in my bed! Oh, no. I can't very well tell her that.
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Cosmo Topper : I've lost the body. I've lost my car. If I don't get out of here very soon, I'll lose my mind!
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Cosmo Topper : Good heavens, why should anyone want to kill Miss Carrington?
Gail Richards : Well, they killed me, didn't they.
Cosmo Topper : Yes, I can understand that.
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Ann Carrington : Where did you last see her?
Cosmo Topper : She was sitting on a table in the hall and she hung my hat on a Chinaman's foot.
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Gail Richards : [Getting into Cosmo's car] Mind if I sit on your lap?
Cosmo Topper : Oh, uh, really, my dear young lady...
Ann Carrington : I'm very sorry to inconvenience you but we had a blow-out!
Gail Richards : Ah, this is comfortable. Well, what are we waiting for?
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Gail Richards : Didn't your Ma ever tell you to knock on a ladies bedroom door before you barge in?
Cosmo Topper : This is most embarrassing. Why couldn't you have stayed the way you were?
Gail Richards : A negligee's hardly appropriate for solving crimes.