Charley's Aunt (1941)

Jack Benny: Babbs Babberley

Quotes 

• Babbs Babberley : I'm Charley's aunt from Brazil--where the nuts come from.

• Babbs Babberley : I'm Charley's nut from Brazil where the aunts come from.

• [last lines] 

  Babbs Babberley : Say, I wonder if he can sue me for breach of promise.

• Babbs Babberley : I oughtta bash your crumpet.

• Babbs Babberley : I won't be a lady for you or anybody else.

• Babbs Babberley : All right, you win. But if I turn out to be your stepmother, don't blame me.

• Babbs Babberley : But he's in his third childhood. He's a cheek pincher. A boocha, boocha, boocha, boocha, boocha.

  [He pinches Jack's cheek] 

• Jack Chesney : I hate to mention this, Auntie, but you need a shave.

  Babbs Babberley : I shaved this morning.

• Jack Chesney : Now, come on. Be a good girl and whisk off those whiskers. You can use the razor in my room.

  Babbs Babberley : Why can't I be a bearded lady?

• Babbs Babberley : When I have to use myself as bait for an undersized mackerel, that's the end.

• Amy Spettigue : Haven't you ever been in love?

  Babbs Babberley : [as Donna Lucia]  Oh, dozens of times. Oh, I mean, once in love, always in love.

• Jack Chesney : What do you think you're doing?

  Babbs Babberley : I'm gonna change my clothes and be what nature intended me to be - a man.

• Babbs Babberley : I hadn't pictured you the way you are either. Uh, you don't look at all like a client.

• Babbs Babberley : Anyone ever tell you about your eyes? Something's come over me. May I offer you a glass of sherry?

  Donna Lucia d'Alvadorez : Oh, you certainly may. And, uh, what were you saying about my eyes?

  Babbs Babberley : They impress me very much. Both of them.

• Babbs Babberley : Do you know what clothes do to hail. I mean to hail to clothes. I'll be right back. Now, wait for me.

  [sic] 

• Babbs Babberley : Every time I put these clothes on, there seem to be more of them.

  [as he switches into a dress] 

• Babbs Babberley : Do you believe in love at first client? Oh, you do.

  Donna Lucia d'Alvadorez : I do.

• Donna Lucia d'Alvadorez : I heard something.

  Babbs Babberley : It's my heart. It makes an awful racket when I'm with you.

• Amy Spettigue : Donna Lucia?

  Babbs Babberley : There's that moose calling to its mate.

• Stephen Spettigue : I've been duped. You imposter. Who are you?

  Babbs Babberley : I'm Charley's nut from Brazil where all the aunts come from.

  [sic] 

• Charley Wyckham : Well, thank goodness, I shan't have to call you aunt any more.

  Babbs Babberley : No, but you might be calling me uncle pretty soon.

• Babbs Babberley : 35,000 dirty, smelly sheep. And every one of them saying, "Babbs! Babbs!"

• Babbs Babberley : [to Spettigue]  I advise you to sign the temperance pledge and be saved before it's too late.

• Stephen Spettigue : Something just hit me.

  [Babbs as Donna Lucia had thrown a book and knocked off his hat] 

  Babbs Babberley : [as Donna Lucia]  Probably the tenth drink.