- Thomas H. Jefferson: What do you want to know so much about Miss Benton?
- Pat Callahan: I'm a reporter.
- Thomas H. Jefferson: Er, is she one of those "celeberties"?
- Pat Callahan: No. That is, she wasn't until a few hours ago.
- Thomas H. Jefferson: Oh.
- Pat Callahan: Have a look at that
- [hands him the newspaper with the headline "Girl mysteriously slain in Apartment"]
- Thomas H. Jefferson: Yes, Sir, she's a pretty lady.
- Pat Callahan: What's the matter? Can't you read?
- Thomas H. Jefferson: Er, I can read reading but I can't read writing!