- Lt. James Flanner: [to Joel] Langner tells me that you've worked on some cases of stolen books... that you've helped the insurance companies quite a bit.
- Steve Langner: Any favors he does we pay him for. There's not an altruistic bone in his body.
- Garda Sloane: Anything you want to know about my husband's bones, Lieutenant, you can ask me.
- Joel Sloane: You know, this thing's apt to blow the whole rare book business sky high. Play ball with me, Miss Thome. The explosion won't singe a hair of your very pretty head. I want to be on your team.
- Julia Thorne: [Flirtatiously] When do we play the next game?
- Joel Sloane: Oh, no, you're on the wrong track, Lieutenant. I killed Brockler myself. I waved a $10 dollar bill over his head, and he broke his neck jumping for it.
- Lt. James Flanner: This is serious, Sloane.
- Joel Sloane: All right, if you want to find Brockler's murderer, ask Brockler. Offer a reward. He'll talk dead or alive.
- Steve Langner: [Walking into the office and seeing the Sloanes kissing] Oh, pardon me. I thought this was a business office.
- Joel Sloane: [Facetiously] Oh, we mean business.
- Arnold Stamper: [Speaking of Morgan] He told me about your kindness to him yesterday.
- [Steve winces]
- Arnold Stamper: Only three people know about this.
- Joel Sloane: Yesterday it was only two people.
- Garda Sloane: [to Joel] You're in the doghouse, my boy, and only a very good story will open the door.
- Joel Sloane: Say, where's that $200?
- Garda Sloane: Well, that's just it. I went to lunch, and after lunch everything went blank. When I came to, I'd just bought a dress.
- Garda Sloane: [Joel looks menacingly at her] Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- Joel Sloane: Didn't I buy you a new dress when I married you?
- Garda Sloane: Yes, but that was two years ago.
- Joel Sloane: Was it?
- Garda Sloane: And I paid for the dress.
- Joel Sloane: It's irrelevant. Irrelevant.
- Garda Sloane: And I paid for the license too.
- Joel Sloane: Well, sure you did. Husbands like myself don't come along every day of the week.
- Garda Sloane: And another thing - who paid the hotel bill?
- Joel Sloane: You did.
- Garda Sloane: Mr. Sloane?
- Joel Sloane: Yes, my child.
- Garda Sloane: May I have a new dress?
- Joel Sloane: [Pushing her off his lap] I have work to do.
- Garda Sloane: Do you love me?
- Joel Sloane: Madly.
- Garda Sloane: Will you always love me - no matter what happens?
- Joel Sloane: Sure.
- [She puts her arms around him]
- Joel Sloane: What is this? What is this? Are you the same girl who wouldn't let me put a sofa in the office?
- Garda Sloane: I heard every word. You were very persuasive. Hmph. If you'd been that persuasive to me, I'd still be single.
- Garda Sloane: Mr. Sloane, what are the duties of a secretary in this office?
- Garda Sloane: [Joel Sloane puts his arms around her and starts to kiss her] Garda: No! No! A thousand times, n......
- Garda Sloane: Go on about your business, you peeping Tom.
- Joel Sloane: Well, I don't mind telling you - of all the women I've ever met, there's none on whom I'd rather peep than you.
- Garda Sloane: Thank you, sire.
- Joel Sloane: Goodbye, Mr. Langner. Do come in, any time.
- Steve Langner: Just my bad luck, I may have to.
- Garda Sloane: I'm worried about those kids, Joel. He's such a darling and Brockler's got a heart like an icebox.
- Joel Sloane: Yeah, and a mind like a mouse trap and soul of a man-eating shark.
- Garda Sloane: Now I wanna do something nice for you.
- Joel Sloane: Yeah?
- Garda Sloane: You can take me out tonight in my new dress.
- Garda Sloane: [after Joel crosses his arms in disapproval] Big chief no like?
- Joel Sloane: No. No like. Little White Feather - she makum heap trouble. Big Chief Rain in the Puss no gotum job.
- Garda Sloane: Well, getum job. Or Big Chief Rain in Puss catchum kick in the puss.
- Joel Sloane: Okay. Come to wigwam.
- Arnold Stamper: As far as this case is concerned, Ned Morgan and I are one person.
- Joel Sloane: Suppose he goes to the chair. You gonna sit with him?
- Joel Sloane: Darling, what happened to you? Why the ice bag?
- Garda Sloane: Oh, I had an idea.
- Joel Sloane: Oh, honey, you know an idea always gives you a headache.
- Steve Langner: Yeah, any favor he does, we pay him for. There's not an altruistic bone in his body.
- Garda Sloane: Anything you wanna know about my husband's bones, lieutenant, you ask me.
- Lt. James Flanner: Otto Brockler was murdered tonight.
- Garda Sloane: Ohhh.
- Joel Sloane: Well, if you're looking for a statement from me, I am not bogged down with grief.
- Garda Sloane, Joel Sloane: Now, where are you going?
- Joel Sloane: I'm gong out. I can't stand any more of your nagging. If I'm not back in 30 days, you can marry the ice man.
- Dist. Atty. MacMillen: Aren't you and Ned Morgan pretty good friends, Mr. Sloane?
- Joel Sloane: Oh, sure, sure, but I never help him with his murders.
- Joel Sloane: Oh, come now, Steve, how am I gonna make a living?
- Julia Thorne: You might have to go to work, Mr. Sloane.
- Joel Sloane: Oh - fate worse than death.
- Joel Sloane: [after Garda puts handcuffs on him] Hey, what's the idea.
- Garda Sloane: You're not gonna get away from me again. Sit down.
- Joel Sloane: [Sits on his rump that was shot, and jumps up] Oh, hooo!
- Garda Sloane: Oh, honey, I forgot. Let me be your donut.
- Joel Sloane: [to Garda after his questioning at the D.A.'s office. She is sitting on his desk eating an apple as he talks] No! No! No! And then, they tried to beat the truth out of me with a rubber hose. I kept on repeating,, 'Me no speak English! Me no speak English!' Finally, they let me go.
- Garda Sloane: [after Joel takes the apple from her and bites into it himself] A likely story. And you didn't tell them about Julia Thorne?
- Joel Sloane: Certainly not - the code of the underworld.
- Garda Sloane: When I showed a sign of interest, he bought a copy of "Treasure Island" for $200. Then he got a little gay, but I threw him out at first base - no hits, no runs, no errors.
- Joel Sloane: No errors?
- Garda Sloane: No errors.
- Joel Sloane: Good girl. I'm lucky to have a secretary with so much mmmm!