- Vesta Vernoff: [after discovering the "body" of her stepfather] Poor Nannie!
- Detective Dempsey: Who's Nannie?
- Detective Harold Kelly: Nannie's a goat! Whooooooo!
- Detective Harold Kelly: You know this fella Clancy?
- Detective Dempsey: No but he's Irish ain't he?
- Detective Harold Kelly: Sure.
- Detective Dempsey: About time the police department did something with the Irish.
- Detective Harold Kelly: They should try to do something without the Irish.
- Detective Dempsey: [points his gun at the lower abdomen of Paul Morgan] Stick 'em up Mr. Octopus or I'll blow your brains out.
- Paul Morgan: Just a little low for my brains don't you think?
- Detective Harold Kelly: Is he dead?
- Detective Dempsey: No, that ain't even a he.
- Detective Harold Kelly: Oh, don't tell me that's a woman.
- Detective Dempsey: No! That's a dummy.
- Polly Crane: Well, it's in good company.
- Detective Dempsey: Now, I want you all to sit down and be quiet while I do a little deductin'. I'm just commencing to add two and two.
- Polly Crane: Tomorrow you'll be starting on the alphabet.
- Detective Dempsey: Kelly, take his fingerprints.
- Detective Harold Kelly: Right.
- [sees Captain Hook's hook hand]
- Detective Harold Kelly: Whooooooo! Dempsey, he ain't got any fingers, see?
- Detective Dempsey: So take his footprints.
- Detective Harold Kelly: What is he, a horse?
- Detective Dempsey: Yeah... NO!