If You Could Only Cook (1935)

Leo Carrillo: Mike Rossini

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mike Rossini : Well, how a nice girl like you happened to get hooked up with a mug like that?

  Joan Hawthorne : He isn't a mug.

  Mike Rossini : Well, how he happen to sell you that bill of goods? How you happen to fall for him?

  Joan Hawthorne : The Depression.

• Mike Rossini : You know, I had a hunch you wasn't married. That's why I made a play for you. And I still think you're pretty swell.

  Joan Hawthorne : You make it very difficult for me to stay, sir, unless you treat me like a cook.

  Mike Rossini : Well, I don't want to treat you like a no cook. I want to treat you like you was a, well, like you was a Mrs. Rossini. Yes, I"m a proposing to you. When I make up my mind, I make it up fast.

  Joan Hawthorne : Oh, you really don't mean that Mr. Rossini. I'm afraid your stomach's gotten the better of your heart.

• Mike Rossini : Why should a guy like that pass himself off to me as a butler?

  Flash : Because he's nuts! Or, maybe he wants to be near that tomato. You know some guys do very funny things when there's a lady in the case.

  Mike Rossini : All the time he was fooling around with her, he's going to marry this pain-in-the-neck, heh?

• Mike Rossini : That's the trouble with you. Food is just food. But my stomach lives for good things.

• Mike Rossini : I hate to disturb your digestion, but I got to tell you this. Yer cook is in the jug - J-A-I-L - jug!

• Mike Rossini : The dirty rat, he pulled a fast one on her and left her holding the bag. Poor kid.