The Fatal Glass of Beer (1933)
W.C. Fields: Pa Snavely
Photos
Quotes
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[repeated line]
Pa Snavely : And it ain't a fit night out for man or beast.
[a gust of wind blows a blast of snow into his face]
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Ma Snavely : He wants more money and if he don't get it, he'll take our malamutes.
Pa Snavely : He won't take old Balto, my lead dog.
Ma Snavely : Why not, Pa?
Pa Snavely : 'Cause I et him.
Ma Snavely : You *et* him?
Pa Snavely : He was mighty good with mustard.
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Pa Snavely : My Uncle Ichabod said, speakin' of the city, "It ain't no place for women gals, but pretty men go thar."
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Pa Snavely : I think I'll go out and milk the elk.
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Pa Snavely : [pulls out a "dulcimer" from a chest] You won't consider me rude if I play with my mitts on, will you?
Officer Posthlewhistle : Not at all, Mr. Snavely, not at all.
Pa Snavely : [singing] There was once a poor boy / And he left his country home / And he came to the city to look for work / He promised his ma and pa / He would lead a civilized life / And always shun the fatal curse of drink / Once in the city / He got a situation in a quarry / And there he made the acquaintance of some college students / He little thought they were demons / For they wore the best of clothes / But the clothes do not always make the gentleman / So they tempted him to drink / And they said he was a cow'rd / Until at last he took the fatal glass of beer / When he found what he'd done / He dashed the glass upon the floor / And he staggered through the door with delirium tremens / Once upon the sidewalk / He met a Salvation Army girl / And wickedly he broke her tambourine / All she said was, "Heaven bless you" / And placed a mark upon his brow / With a kick she'd learned before she had been saved / Now, as a moral to young men / Who come down to the city / Don't go 'round breaking people's tambourines.
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Pa Snavely : [trying to play moose horn] My old embouchure ain't what it used to be.
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Chester Snavely - Their Son : I feel so tired, I think I'll go to bed.
Pa Snavely : Why don't you lie down and take a little rest first, Chester?
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Pa Snavely : [gagging on the snow] Tastes more like corn flakes.
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Pa Snavely : Sure he never stole 'em! Our Chester never stole nothin', from nobody - hardly ever.
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Pa Snavely : [to a Canadian Mountie who just walked in from a blizzard covered with snow] Is it still snowing?
Officer Posthlewhistle : I don't know. To tell you the truth, I never looked.
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[first lines]
Pa Snavely : [knock at the door] Who's thar?
Officer Posthlewhistle : Officer Posthlewhistle of the the Canadian Mounted.
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Indian Chief : How, Mr. Snavely.
Pa Snavely : How, Chief.
Second Indian Chief : How.
Pa Snavely : And how. Vamoose!
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Ma Snavely : Don't forget your moose horn, Pa.
Pa Snavely : Thank ya, Ma.
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Pa Snavely : Welcome home, Chester.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Thank ya, Pa.
Pa Snavely : But I don't suppose we'll have him with us long. Once the city, gets into a ba-hoy's sy-histem, he looses h-his a-hankerin', for the ca-huntry.
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Chester Snavely - Their Son : Well, good night, Pa.
Pa Snavely : Good night, Chester.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Good night, Ma.
Ma Snavely : Good night, Chester.
Pa Snavely : Sleep well, Chester.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Thank you, Pa. You too.
Pa Snavely : Thank you, Chester.
Ma Snavely : Sleep well, Chester.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Thank you, Ma. You sleep well.
Pa Snavely : Don't forget to open the window a bit, Chester.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Don't forget to open yours a bit, Pa.
Pa Snavely : I won't Chester.
Ma Snavely : Yes, don't forget to open your window a bit, Chester.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Put yours up a bit too, Ma.
Pa Snavely : Good night, Chester.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Good night, Pa.
Ma Snavely : Good night, Chester.
Pa Snavely : Good night.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Good night, Pa.
Ma Snavely : Good night.
Chester Snavely - Their Son : Good night.
Pa Snavely : Good night! Chester.
