- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: There's no use in trying to horse little Gertie around. I was born in Arizona and I know my ponies.
- Elmer Guthrie: But you can't make jackasses out of us.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: And cut out the wise cracks, I know all the answers.
- Nicholas Hautrey: I'll give it to you; but, I must have your solemn word.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: You can have anything, my dear. Anything!
- Elmer Guthrie: I wish I was the lemon or the sugar in your tea, Cause then with every sip you'd take, You'd give a kiss to me.
- [kiss]
- Mabel Guthrie: Oh, that's wonderful! Oh, Elmer, do you really feel that way?
- Elmer Guthrie: Do I feel that way? Last night I felt every way.
- John Aberdeen Arnold: I have no intention of being part of the convention or its exhibits. Bathing suit parades are *not* dignified.
- George Harlan: You will see in a glance...
- Elmer Guthrie: Just how much a woman wants to show, when bathing. The Acme Company gained recognition and sales by taking off that much from the old model bathing suit and let a woman expose her ankles to the public gaze.
- John Aberdeen Arnold: It created a sensation. It was vulgar!
- Elmer Guthrie: But, it made money!
- Mabel Guthrie: Hand over your paychecks.
- Lucille Harlan: And your cash. Every penny of it.
- Mabel Guthrie: Here, give me that!
- Elmer Guthrie: That's nothin' but a pool check.
- Mabel Guthrie: Do your bathing at home.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: [knock on the door] Who is it?
- Elmer Guthrie: Me!
- George Harlan: I!
- Elmer Guthrie: Us!
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: Come in. All of you. Well, looks like old home week. Welcome to my pajama party.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: Now, you boys better be going. I'm getting awfully sleepy.
- George Harlan: No, no. Let's have another nip.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: You're just a couple of minnows. I'm after big fish and I don't mean mackerel.
- George Harlan: You mean you're going to make him fall?
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: Fall? He's on his back now. I'm picking him up and leading him around. I'm teaching him to walk, skip, hop and jump. Now, you be good little boys and you can stick around. You start something and I'll have you fired.
- Elmer Guthrie: The weaker sex.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: Yes, sir, and going stronger.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: I suggest you take a nice long swim and don't stop until you smell chop suey and see the Chinese flag.
- Lucille Harlan: Am I the only woman you ever loved?
- George Harlan: Oh, cross my heart, Tootsie-Woomsie-Mumsie, is the the only woman Poorgy-Georgy ever loved.
- Elmer Guthrie: They showed some of the knee. It saved the firm, sir. The showing of the knee.
- George Harlan: Now, we can rip off even more - and make ourselves millionaires over night.
- John Aberdeen Arnold: That is enough. A woman's body is sacred. And her *nudity* should be guarded from the public gaze.
- Secretary Modelling Skimpy Bathing Suit: Mr. Pestalozzi says for your to examine me carefully. It's the new design.
- John Aberdeen Arnold: All right. All right.
- [reveals the bathing suit]
- John Aberdeen Arnold: Oh! I have examined you carefully and I have seen too much. Take it off. Take it off immediately! Ta-ta-take it off!
- Secretary Modelling Skimpy Bathing Suit: Now?
- John Aberdeen Arnold: Yes, now!
- [model starts disrobing]
- John Aberdeen Arnold: No, no, no, no! Not here. Get out, you fool. Get out! Get out!
- John Aberdeen Arnold: I know you never could have loved anyone the way you love me.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: You're the only man who ever understood me, Daddy.
- John Aberdeen Arnold: Miss Dale, I am the President of this concern and I dictate the policy of the firm.
- Gertrude 'Gertie' Dale: Look! I've got a sucker!
- George Harlan: That's nothing new.
- Elmer Guthrie: That makes a boatload of suckers.