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Diane Lane in Untraceable (2008)

Review by freydis-e

Untraceable

2/10

Unwatchable

Actually it is watchable in a sense - the acting and direction are unexciting but OK. What I found really, really annoying was the story. So here's the script meeting:

Minion 1: I know, boss, let's go for the award for most clichéd plot ever. Obviously we have a serial killer, so let's add the usual plucky female FBI agent with a kid but no husband, so the killer can menace them later. So this killer is a computer nerd, therefore a weedy-looking guy, right. We have to have one small touch of originality in the whole movie, so, I know, let's have this dweeb overpowering big men and moving them and their bodies around - with impunity obviously as he's an SK.

Minion 2: So, OK, he can kill a few people, while we quickly focus on his motivations - bit of pathos, guys, right? - he can then kidnap Ms Agent's co-worker-bestie and murder him, making her really, really mad. And obviously he then kidnaps her, but she stages an improbable escape and wipes him out (no need to worry about the motivations bit obviously). Job done! Let's start shooting.

Minion 3: Hang on though, guys - we missed a cliché there. When he kidnaps the agent, let's have him disable her car and phone - you just cannot overdo the "computer nerd can do anything at all" angle. So she can get out to phone for help, leaving the car unlocked, then get back in without checking the back seat where - you guessed it. Genius! B. O. S. Oscar, you think?

A bunch of ten year olds could have made up a better script for a school project. Just pathetic.
  • freydis-e
  • May 4, 2021

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