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As we head into the Christmas holidays, it seems like a good time for my semi-annual discussion of in medias res openings. You know, that thing where something exciting but confusing is happening for a minute or two at the top of a TV episode and then you get a “Two Weeks Earlier” title card.

You see them all the time and mostly, I hate to say, they’re not very good.

As I figure it, there are exactly two correct uses for an in medias res opening.

Use one: Present a scene so outlandish and packed with bizarre details that curiosity is unavoidable. A man wakes up in bed. The camera pulls back to reveal that he’s spooning with Dr. Ruth. The camera pulls back to reveal that the man and Dr. Ruth are surrounded by the corpses of 50 adorable white rabbits.