[Warning: The below contains Major spoilers for the New Amsterdam Season 5 premiere.] If you tuned into the New Amsterdam premiere to find out why Dr. Helen Sharpe left Dr. Max Goodwin (Ryan Eggold) at the rooftop altar, you didn’t get them. Instead, Helen sent Max a letter: “My dearest Max, if you toss this letter, rip it up, burn it, I won’t blame you. I’ve done the same to countless versions. What I did was unforgivable, to you, to our friends, to sweet Luna. It was never my intention, none of this is what I intended. Everything I ever said to you was true. Everything we had was real but so is this thing that kept me in London. Kept me from marrying you. I wish I knew what it was. I wish I could rip it out of me, obliterate it, so I could be with you. “Because ...