During the closing credits of “The Last Mercenary,” we see a montage of Jean-Claude Van Damme in the various getups he wore during the movie (a fuzzy beard; a mustache and Yankees cap; a blond wig; a Bond tuxedo; drag). The film presents this cavalcade of mostly routine disguises with wide-eyed affection, as if it were showing us Peter Sellers in his “Pink Panther” prime. It’s all part of the delusion that the makers of “The Last Mercenary” (who are French) are apparently under: that Jean-Claude Van Damme is no mere action star — that he’s a stylish comedian, an icon of such ironic charisma that we’d follow him anywhere, even through the paces of a maladroit caper movie like this one.

Van Damme was always a good-looking bruiser, sleeker than those other martial-arts poster boys Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal. He’s 60 now, which in our world...