It’s been 20 years since the release of Kimberly Peirce’s “Boys Don’t Cry,” a watershed moment in increasing the visibility of trans people and the hate crimes committed against them. It’s also been two decades since Brendan Sexton III, who plays one the men who raped and murdered trans person Brandon Teena, has seen the film. On Friday, he watched it as part of an anniversary screening at Columbia University attended by IndieWire. In a post-screening panel discussion, he and Peirce reflected on the difficulties of shooting the scene in which his character rapes Teena (Hillary Swank).

“This is the first time I saw the movie in 20 years,” said Sexton, and he began to cry. “It’s really tough to watch. The bathroom scene really got to me.”

As Sexton, Swank, and Peter Sarsgaard were getting ready to shoot that scene on location, Peirce said Sexton “went missing.