American Horror Story is back with a delicious slice of '80s slasher cheese. Our review of the first episode of Ahs 1984...

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This American Horror Story review contains spoilers.

American Horror Story 1984 Episode 1

I have a lot of difficulty remembering character names, even on shows I watch regularly (and write about). I hate that I'm like this, and the older I get, the worse my memory becomes. When dealing with American Horror Story's ensemble cast, my inability to remember who is who only becomes worse, because despite the characters all being different, the cast remains basically the same. So, Brooke (Emma Roberts) ends up being Madison Montgomery, Montana becomes Billy Lourd, Margaret becomes "whatshername, you know, she was so good on the show last year," and so on.

Thankfully, 1984 does me a kindness early on in the episode with a flashy introduction to each character, complete...