Jim Jarmusch’s The Dead Don’t Die presupposes you, the audience, have never watched a zombie comedy before. As if The Return Of The Living Dead, Zombieland, Shaun Of The Dead, Juan Of The Dead – so *flipping* many examples – vanished from existence. The Dead Don’t Die believes itself an invention of subgenre genius, but in actuality, offers nothing new nor furthers zombie cinema by the length of a rotten tooth. A loaded but (widely) misused cast, deadpan atmospheres like a vacuous tonal black hole, and lacking satirical wit assures that The Dead Don’t Die is more lifeless than Iggy Pop’s decapitated corpse.

Cliff (Bill Murray) and Ronnie (Adam Driver) are rural Pennsylvania law enforcers. Zelda (Tilda Swinton), the town’s samurai mortician. Bobby (Caleb Landry Jones), the local gas station horror movie buff. All “simple” folk caught in the middle of a fracking phenomenon that throws Earth off its axis,...