The kingdom in this poorly acted Viking fantasy is populated by peacenik vegans, a warrior princess and … Terence Stamp

This fantastically wooden and dodgily acted British Viking fantasy appears to be the result of its creators binge-watching Games of Thrones, although the battle scenes here are about as thunderous as a sparrow’s fart. Anna Demetriou is Princess Helle, daughter of the king (Andrew Whipp) and rightful heir to Volsung, a kingdom of blokes with beards vaguely recognisable from the telly. But when Helle was born, the king’s scheming brother Prince Bard (Timo Nieminen) cajoled him into trading babies on the pretence of protecting the kingdom: I’ll swap you your second fiddle princess for my son. Trouble is, 20 years later, the prince is a royal wuss, while Helle is a bit handy with a sword.

When the king is murdered, Bard frames Helle, who escapes to the woods...