My status as a childless adult relinquishes me from the duty of sitting through every G and PG-rated distraction that comes down the pipe. However, during some recent channel surfing, I happened upon the 2007 live-action version of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Out of boredom and curiosity, I watched a scene where Dave Seville (played by a very defeated-looking Jason Lee) discovers his chipmunk adoptees have destroyed his home. As he flies into a rage, he spies what looks like a tiny bowel movement on the couch between Simon and Theodore. Simon insists the offending object is but a raisin, and when Dave asks him to prove it, the brainy rodent pops it in his mouth. Satisfied, Dave exits the scene, allowing Simon to spit out the “raisin,” telling Theodore, “ You owe me one.” You read that correctly – in Alvin and the Chipmunks, a character actually eats feces.

Are kids movies always this nauseating and insulting?...