- I'd accept an honour but I don't think I'm likely to get one. The Queen once described me as a dreadful man.
- [to a Pop Idol (2001) contestant] Let me throw a mathematical dilemma at you - there's 500 left, well how come the odds of you winning are a million to one?
- [Asked if he feels guilty about what he says to American Idol (2002) contestants] No, what I am doing is kind by telling people who are useless, "Do something that you're good at". So I would only feel guilt if I misled somebody who was terrible.
- We've done three seasons of [American Idol (2002)] and by now it is safe to assume that most people know that you have to be able to sing. But people turn up who can't sing a note and yet they believe they are the Second Coming.
- Sit in these auditions for three weeks and hear "I Believe I Can Fly" out of tune for the millionth time, YOU try and be nice.
- If you would have asked me what I thought of America before I came over here I would have used the word "corny". And then you come over here and you find that it's not corny at all. British people are very cynical, they cannot bear someone else's success. Americans embrace other people's success. Everything in America is larger than life.
- [To the infamous Keith who sang a horrible rendering of "Like a Virgin"] "Keith, last year I described someone as being the worst singer in America. I think you're possibly the worst singer in the world . . . I've never, ever heard anything like that in my life, ever.
- I don't want babies the same way I wouldn't want a puppy. It's too much responsibility.
- I don't take myself seriously and I don't consider myself a star.
- [on Michael Jackson] The guy is off his rocker.
- [about Taylor Hicks] They [Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson] loved him. I couldn't stand him. I didn't get it. At the end of the day you have to find a bona fide recording artist. Just because you win the show doesn't mean you will sell a lot of records. Chris Daughtry is the one who sold the albums, not Taylor.
- [About his father's death and his band's reaching #1 on the charts on the same day] The ultimate irony. The worst thing that could happen, and the best--all in the one day. It just shocked me to the core. I just never thought my dad wouldn't be around. I phoned him to tell him about the #1, because that's what I did. When something good happened, I called my dad. At first, my mother couldn't even tell me he was dead. She just listened to me burbling on. Then she called me back to tell me. Awful.
- [about American Idol (2002)] Sometimes it's mind-numbingly boring and it shows on my face.
- Music videos have become the equivalent of moving wallpaper. You notice them, but you can't remember them.
- What luxury would I take to a desert island? A mirror. It's true. I'd miss me.
- I don't want to marry anyone, because whoever marries me will end up hating me.
- If I went to a psychiatrist, it would be a long session. I've always thought that I do have a number of issues that probably need dealing with, because I am quite odd in some ways. I get very dark moods for no reason. Nothing in particular brings it on. You can be having the best time of your life and yet you're utterly and totally miserable. I get very antisocial, depressed and irritable with people. I don't have time for them. I can't make phone calls and stuff. I just sit on my own for days. I'm not sitting in a darkened room rocking. Things might have gone really well and then I torture myself. I cannot believe it. I have to find something to make me miserable. Someone said to me recently, "You're like a human buffet table. Everyone comes and takes something from you and, at the end, there's nothing left". The last time I felt that way was when I looked at my diary and realized I had the next 18 months planned. I could tell you where I was going to be every day--which city, what time and almost what I was going to eat. That really depressed me.
- What is there to be excited about turning 50? Can't we just pretend it is not going to happen?
- [on plastic surgery] I think you've got to be very careful as a guy, in particular, that you can end up looking really, really weird.
- [on Botox] Of course I have had it. I mean, for me, it's like cleaning my teeth, you know? Something makes your teeth whiter or something stops you having lines.
- [About Cheryl] The hardest thing to accept is that everyone has painted me as a monster because I embarrassed her. But the truth was I was protecting her. I just want people to be in the best place at the right time. It wasn't that she was terrible. She was good. I just thought she'd be happier in the UK.
- I only play to win.
- It's not our intention to be mean. That's just within us.
- I have an absolute hatred of losing. Even losing at Monopoly as a kid. I just want to beat the competition.
- I will never borrow money again.
- I read The Sun to see what people want.
- Cruelty is good television.
- We'll speak about general matters for the first five minutes and the rest of the time we'll speak about me.
- [about money] If it could pour on me every day like a shower, I would lie in it for an hour. I just love it.
- Marriage is an outdated contract.
- Work is my mistress.
- Embrace the madness.
- Talking to celebrities is too much effort. They all think the same.
- Pudsey is the act I've been waiting for all my life.
- One Direction are the success story X-Factor (2006) acts should aspire to.
- [in 2012] I've never been happier.
- When you're having hits, you're set on a new path.
- Give me one day to make a pilot [episode] and I'll show you that it works.
- Will Young is a fake, sniveling little drama queen.
- Britney Spears is the Greta Garbo of pop.
- X-Factor (2006) has become the underdog.
- We have to find a star who is the equivalent of Manchester United.
- One Direction are my best calling card.
- Once I've gone off someone, that's it for life.
- My life is a night shift.
- I've got to become uncluttered.
- I'm enjoying daytimes now.
- I'm not going to waste my energy on focusing what others do.
- Many stars prefer their own company.
- [on Susan Boyle] She's like a great underdog story.
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